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so here im at, on my bed, having morcheeba playing on the stereo and finishing off a bottle of red wine, feeling completely like shit.
being without somebody to love for 4 years, having hardly any friends, hiding myself infront of the computer nonstop and growing mushrooms as a sole hobby, to make it short, the classical soziophobic young adult who has his first identity crisis?
can you put it this way, i dont know, the only thing i know is that quitting pot probably was one of the most stupid things i ever did as it braught me severe insomnia fucking up my university work and making me even more of a pest to other people than i already am.
given a busride, i listen to other people conversation and cannot realise why certain people do no SHUT THE FUCK UP as for all the incredible bullshit they are babbling would be enuf for 500 mentally retarded people to have a nice conversation.
hell its a bitch, talking women, i tell ya - 4 years of sexual abstinence and thinking of not being able to love ever again is fucking me up so hard you wouldnt even be close to understanding how i feel.
now theres a new roomie, moved in the other day, nice guy, has PERMANENT visit by girls even though he just lives here for a week - wtf? like im not ugly or whatnot, im even quite nice looking but well, im just too much hidden inside myself to ever break out or whatever ..
fucking loser ..
had to write that down, sorry for the spam or whatever, have a glass of red wine, it tastes nice and helps .. battling certain thoughts. peace ohm