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I have been thinking a lot lately about acceptance, and how it actually changes things. For example: have you ever noticed how hard it is to change your mate, while a little more acceptance goes a long way towards transforming your relationship? Ultimately, I can change myself; that is about as far as it goes, although the ripple effect definitely filters further outwards. In a deeper sense, transforming myself transforms the world.
Acceptance has its own transformative magic. It has helped me become far more patient, tolerant, empathic and open-minded. And lord knows, we could use a little more of that in this strife-torn world.
Patient forbearance is the third transcendental virtue and transformative power (?paramita?) of the Bodhisattva. Cultivating inner discipline and integrity raises our standard for living and brings purpose and meaning to our lives. Facing our difficulties with courage and fortitude can bring us spiritual satisfaction and riches beyond measure. This is a time in our history to become sacred warriors for peace, not warmongers or mere worriers. Anger and fear are the roots of violence, as we know.
Radical acceptance implies unconditional friendliness, the kind of openness and love that allows us to meet life as it is; which never throws anyone out of our hearts, even if we don?t like what they may think, say or do. Love is far greater than the ego-based dichotomy of likes and dislikes. Don?t you love your child or pet, even when they disturb you and you dislike what they are doing?
Of course we all want to be better people and make this a better world. I do believe that we can and must do so. Acceptance does not mean condoning the evils, injustices and inequalities in life. However, it can help us see more clearly what is, just as it is, and how and why things work the way they do, before we attempt to enter the fray. When we calmly observe and investigate the causes of things, and the fact that nothing happens by accident, we can see far more clearly, and the truth reveals itself, whether we like it or not. Cultivating patience and acceptance has provided more mental clarity and spaciousness for me to examine input before unthinkingly responding in the classic stimulus-reaction pattern of habitual conditioning common to most of us most of the time, and at the root of so many of our problems.
Now and then, practice taking a sacred pause: breathe once and relax, calmly enjoying a moment of mindfulness and reflection before reacting?this can dramatically increases the chances of making better choices and undertaking wiser actions. We simply have to remember to do so, again and again, until it becomes a new habit.
Letting go means letting be, not throwing things away. Letting go implies letting things come and go, and opening to the wisdom of simply allowing, which is called nonattachment. Sometimes we may not know what to do. That is a good time to do nothing. Too often compulsive overdoing creates further unnecessary complications. When at a complete loss, some put down their head, fold their hands, and rely on a higher power for clarity, guidance and direction. Myself, I bow down and, as it were, place my head in the lap of the Buddha, and await inspiration. This actually works.
Unconditional acceptance is not static but ecstatic, vibrant, dynamically engaged in and connected with reality. It helps us to meet life all along the length of her gorgeous body, not just shaking hands with life and wading in its shallows.
-------------------- All you need is Love! Really thats it! Infinite Unconditional Love! Just develop that and all else will fall into place perfectly!