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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Does anybody watch Maury?
    #3865926 - 03/04/05 02:38 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I love that show. The paternity shows are the best.

I love seeing the chicks on there who have been to the show 7 or 8 times and have tested over ten guys and they still haven't found the father of their baby. Maury then goes through their entire history on the show. "When it comes to 8 month-old Mozambeisha, G-Money you are not the father. O-Dogg you are not the father. Scrappy you are not the father. Tyrell you are not the father. C-Note you are not the father."

Every time they are on they proudly proclaim they are "%1000" sure that so and so is the father. Then the guy is yelling backstage, "I ain't the father...she a ho!!" and "When she walk around my 'hood people think it's Christmas 'cuz everybody yellin' Ho! Ho! Ho!".

I live for these paternity test shows.


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Offlineduster
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3865935 - 03/04/05 02:41 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I don't watch tv I find it totally repulsive and makes me sick to my stomach. The only thing I miss about tv is knowing what new movies are comming out heh


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"The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."


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OfflineGorgoroth
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Registered: 08/14/04
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3865937 - 03/04/05 02:41 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

That's all Maury is: Paternity shows, makeover shows, pick out the drag shows, my teen is out of control, rare disease shows, fat babies, and that's about it. It got too repetitive so I stopped watching.

On one of the shows about out of control children, though, the mother named her child Tequila. I found that hilarious.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: duster]
    #3865944 - 03/04/05 02:43 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I would post that Onion article about the snobby douchebag who thinks he's superior to everyone because he doesn't watch TV, but I can't find it.

It seems like everyone I talk to is like "oh, I don't watch TV...", yet it's a fucking multibillion dollar industry.

Yeah right buddy, and I don't jerk off.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Gorgoroth]
    #3865947 - 03/04/05 02:44 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You forgot lie-detector test shows and amazing stuff caught on video shows.


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OfflineGorgoroth
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3865951 - 03/04/05 02:46 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

My bad... :lol:


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Phluck]
    #3865952 - 03/04/05 02:46 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I used to be all snobby like that. I proudly proclaimed how I did not need mainstream entertainment and culture. I prided myself on being too enlightened for that. Now, I whole-heartedly drench myself in the basest of garbage on TV. It is funny and it makes me feel better about myself.


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InvisibleSilversoul
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Phluck]
    #3865957 - 03/04/05 02:47 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Phluck said:
I would post that Onion article about the snobby douchebag who thinks he's superior to everyone because he doesn't watch TV, but I can't find it.

It seems like everyone I talk to is like "oh, I don't watch TV...", yet it's a fucking multibillion dollar industry.

Yeah right buddy, and I don't jerk off.



I don't watch much TV, mostly because I live in a dorm and have to share the same TV with everyone in there. So I don't get to watch what I want to usually. So instead I post on the Shroomery.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 77,639
Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3865966 - 03/04/05 02:50 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

The paternity tests on Maury are some funny shit. I like the lie detectors as well. "...and the lie detector determined: that was a lie."

A few months ago I went to a taping of Jerry Springer. You'd be surprised how small the studio actually is.


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This will not go undocumented.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3865972 - 03/04/05 02:51 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Indeed. Maury and his ilk are some of the best things on TV. Shameless, slimey, and hilarious.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineGorgoroth
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Phluck]
    #3865981 - 03/04/05 02:53 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, the Jerry set looks like a small place with just a punch of foldable chairs in rows.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 77,639
Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Gorgoroth]
    #3865992 - 03/04/05 02:56 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

That's what it is! They also shoot Judge Mathis in the same building, and a few months after the Springer taping, they called and asked if I wanted to go to a Judge Mathis taping. I politely declined.


--------------------
This will not go undocumented.


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Offlinezahudulallah
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Registered: 10/21/04
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3866047 - 03/04/05 03:12 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

lol Randall... you're one unique cat.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3866421 - 03/04/05 04:46 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

i dont have a tv with cable or an anteannae


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Invisiblefearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Todcasil]
    #3866485 - 03/04/05 05:06 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

theres a tv here, but its usually on the jesus or mexican channel. i haven't seen a real tv show in months. im not some elitist fuck. im also not a sheep.


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OfflineGr8fulJ420
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3866798 - 03/04/05 09:14 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I've been a Maury fan for a long time. I like when the guys do their "I'm not the Daddy dance" around the stage and the girls run back stage sobbing. Then Maury goes back to assure them that he'll help them find their daddy if they have to test everybody they know....


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Gr8fulJ420]
    #3867332 - 03/04/05 01:01 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I love Maury's fake compassion.

The best is when they have the people with strange phobias. Maury's talking to them, and all of a sudden, a stagehand brings out a pile of like, pillows, or whatever the person is afraid of, the person flips out, and Maury gets all fake pissed off "Get that away from them! That's enough, shame on you!"


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Phluck]
    #3867449 - 03/04/05 01:28 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

haha

Maury is ok in small doses. Makes me feel not so bad about myself when there are these idiots out there. How do you have like 10 ppl tested and not know who yer kids dad is. FUcking gang bang hoes.


--------------------
This is the only time I really feel alive.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Gr8fulJ420]
    #3867535 - 03/04/05 01:47 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)


I like when the guys do their "I'm not the Daddy dance" around the stage and the girls run back stage sobbing.

That is hilarious. I remember one white guy who was doing splits on the stage after he learned he wasn't the father.


Edited by RandalFlagg (03/04/05 01:57 PM)


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Does anybody watch Maury? [Re: Phluck]
    #3867570 - 03/04/05 01:56 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)


I love Maury's fake compassion.

The best is when they have the people with strange phobias. Maury's talking to them, and all of a sudden, a stagehand brings out a pile of like, pillows, or whatever the person is afraid of, the person flips out, and Maury gets all fake pissed off "Get that away from them! That's enough, shame on you!"


:lol:

I remember seeing a Maury show where a guy was frightened of clowns and they brought a fucking clown out on the stage. The guy FLIPPED out and ran screaming off of the stage.  :rotfl:

Do you think Maury's compassion is an act?  I vacillate back and forth between the opinions that it is genuine and that it is fake.  Sometimes he has "disadvantaged" kids on the show and he buys them stuff. 

During other times, you can practically see in his face that he wants to introduce some slut who can't find her baby's daddy with, "Here is that whore Marisol who has tested 30 guys and still can't find the baby's father.  This chick needs to keep her legs closed for God's sake."  Instead he says, "Marisol has great courage in attempting to find the father of her baby.  She has tested many men and hopefully we can come to a resolution today for her and her child."

It seems so weird to see such trashiness and such sappy compassion side by side on a TV show.


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