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Registered: 02/05/05
Posts: 20
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Anger Management....
    #3853245 - 03/01/05 06:35 PM (12 years, 22 hours ago)

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to make. I found the number, and dialled it. A man answered saying,
"Hello?"I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with
Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone
could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her.
(I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.) After hanging
up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy
answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a**hole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down, with the word 'a**hole' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an a**hole!" It always
cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'a**hole' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John
from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with

the caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammedthe phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a**hole!"
So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I hadbeen
patiently waiting for.. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting
for the spot.
The idiot ignore me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, So, I
wrote down his phone number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole (I had his
number on the speed dial by now), I thought I had better call the BMW
a**hole, too. I dialled and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the
man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's
parked right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen"
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Don, you're an a**hole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used
to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called A**hole #1.
"You're an a**hole!" (but I didn't hang up).
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed..
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"A**hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black
Beemer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole."
Then I called a**hole # 2:
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello A**hole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your a**," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West
34th Street. Then I got into my car and headed over to 34th St.
There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front
of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better


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Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
Re: Anger Management.... [Re: glenofshrooms]
    #3853285 - 03/01/05 06:42 PM (12 years, 22 hours ago)

Good joke, clever, where did you get it from?  :thumbup:

.. coz it blatantly isn't true  :wink:

Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"

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Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,473
Loc: Chico
Re: Anger Management.... [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #3853311 - 03/01/05 06:46 PM (12 years, 22 hours ago)

Awesome. Thats som funny shit :lol:

:smile: Nice one.

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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 842
Loc: MA, USA
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Anger Management.... [Re: glenofshrooms]
    #3853320 - 03/01/05 06:47 PM (12 years, 22 hours ago)

Hahahhaha that's a funny story, it would be cool if it were true.

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Registered: 02/05/05
Posts: 20
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Anger Management.... [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #3853325 - 03/01/05 06:47 PM (12 years, 22 hours ago)

correct...someone sent it to me thought it might cheer a few pubbers!

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Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,225
Loc: usa Flag
Last seen: 28 days, 22 hours
Re: Anger Management.... [Re: glenofshrooms]
    #3853584 - 03/01/05 07:42 PM (12 years, 21 hours ago)

until the part where you talked about calling the cops and news, it sounded like a true story! very funny

"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"

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