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InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
Need mental help or something...
    #3850900 - 03/01/05 08:42 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I don't seem to be very good at functioning in society.

I can't hold down a job I don't know if I can even explain why I quit other than I get high anxiety and some paranoia.

Even when I was a kid I existed and played more 'mentally' than physically. I spent years in my bedroom learning everything I could teach myself about the PC. I know how to build/repair, advanced windows installation and even taught myself some programming. As a kid I progressed with the computer scene, I first had a ZX Spectrum. Then I got an Amiga and then a 486! I started by learning about the BIOS and DOS commands!

I spend alot of time thinking about business ideas but never come up with anything that will make money.

This is bad for me long term, though, because I'm not progressing. You could call me a bum because I sit in on my computer most the day. Although I do go out for jog and do some weights most days.

I look for a job but theres nothing really about in my local town. I don't have any transport either other than buses, which, really suck.

Sometimes I feel crazy and I think, that, I think too much! I'm lost in my mind free floating through millions of different ideas and philosophies, all the while my life long goals and my care for myself is floating down the pan, going no-where.

Maybe denial has been incorperated, disassociaton. Hiding parts of ones own character from ones self or even allowing them until they become a problem one is suddenly aware of?

I don't really know where I'm headed with this, so I'll shut up now.


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Invisibleniteowl
GrandPaw
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc: Flag
Re: Need mental help or something... [Re: Ego Death]
    #3851277 - 03/01/05 11:51 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Get a job in the computer field. Be your own boss. Pass out flyiers offering your help with computer problems.


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OfflineCptnGarden
fuck this site
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 11,945
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Need mental help or something... [Re: niteowl]
    #3851619 - 03/01/05 01:16 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I agree with nite, you should get a job with computers. It's obviously going to be a good job for you. Theres many jobs available that pay you for typing out pages. And maybe you could get a job as a website builder, I did that for a while when I was 16, it was a great way to earn cash for those highschool friday nights. Theres also alot of job sites, right now im member of 2 of them, and I have had a few job opportunities on them. I've also seen tons and tons of computer jobs on them im sure you would be fit for. Most of these sites advertise on TV and im sure it wouldn't be too hard for you to locate the url. Good luck.


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InvisibleDark_Star
dick butterfly
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 27,983
Loc: Under the Grecian fog
Re: Need mental help or something... [Re: Ego Death]
    #3854517 - 03/01/05 11:30 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You're not alone....


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: Need mental help or something... [Re: Dark_Star]
    #3854861 - 03/02/05 12:39 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You are a very intelligent person! yet that is your strong point alot of intelligent people tend to have high anxiety. thats the thing with anxiety you cant really think through it. anxiety is more as a do it factor. thinking too much can be good in ways and bad in other ways. im the same dude. I was a fucking genius on the computer. i taught my self java script when i was 12. i have high amounts of anxiety in the world today but i am slowly learning how to deal with it. just stay away from negative thoughts and know you will get better because trust me you will. You just have to practice. Anxiety is a bad habit. a mental bad habit its not anything magical. just fight it and you will get over it. easier said then done though. good luck


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OfflineMetaShroom
菌类
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Registered: 06/02/02
Posts: 1,462
Loc: East Anglia UK
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: Need mental help or something... [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3857144 - 03/02/05 02:15 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

try to give up skunk


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Offlinethe_phoenix
Stranger

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Need mental help or something... [Re: MetaShroom]
    #3857402 - 03/02/05 03:24 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You're different than most, you posses special talents. I know, because I have them too. You're able to engage convention and understand the specifics, manipulate skillfully the semantics. You expressed this by learning about computers, which are really very complicated. But all your talent can't help you if you don't apply it to your real life, engage and manipulate the specifics of who you are as an individual. The human being is a lot like a computer, you know.

I have just the thing for you--self metaprograming. Take your computer skills and apply them to yourself, become your own programmer, your own god. I know I've benefited tremendously from doing so. There are many different ways to take control of your life and become the conscious controller of your being...this is one of them, and a highly effective one at that. Here are some links about it, talking about the same thing from different perspectives.

ego death and self-control cybernetics
cybercraft
a modern shaman's guide to reality selection
the eightfold model of human consciousness


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