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OfflineJon
Registered: 06/28/03
Posts: 961
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
IMO, good story I wrote in highschool
    #3848656 - 02/28/05 09:15 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I remember this being a perfect score paper, putting aside my run-on sentences. This is a short narrative essay taking place during a conversation betweed an misunderstood nutcase and a psychiatrist. I thought this was a story worth readin to our shroomers and id love to hear some opinions, enjoy.

I was looking outside the window across the street from the prison where there was a fountain still running on a cold day after a snow storm in front of a courthouse.
?Linda?? said the Psychiatrist; I kept staring at the fountain.
?Linda, you were talking about Winnie the Pooh and the hundred acre wood, and then you stopped. What about ?The Hundred Acre Wood??? The psychiatrist made another attempt to catch my attention.
?Oh, sorry? I replied after parting myself from an eternal gaze
?Yea Winnie the Pooh, describes the perfect life for me. I could eat my dinner out of trees, I have my spots for thinking, eating, socializing. The utter simplicity and the blissful nature of the Hundred Acre Wood seems like paradise to me.?
?Which character would you be?? The psychiatrist looked at me then wrote in her stupid little book.
?Well id be rabbit, I play my role in society, and I have something to wait for. And every now and then when I?m affected by the ennui, I get pounced by tigger. I like gardening, its fun. I like planting tomato?s and peppers? I sort of lost myself when this was said.
?Ok lets not lose our focus now, what kind of role do you think we play in our society? asked the psychiatrist
?What society?? I was confused
?The one you?re in right now Linda. You are a person in a community; you must play some sort of role in your life??
?I?m an observer, no wait, THE observer?
?I see?. so you?re an observer above others?? the shrink said this with a bit of confusion.
?I was meant to remember things?
?What exactly are you supposed to observe?? the psychiatrist seemed quite curious.
?Dreams, reality, people mostly. Every painful movement when they walk, talk, even breath. Every moment of their lives being one dollar and hour. I see a community of diamonds and beetles, a human beings most valuable moment would be a pillow fight in their childhood, feathers everywhere and the blissful laughter. Otherwise, blending the community would be considered a mixture, not a solution. We are dirty, I am dirty!? I became angry.
?Well you stopped being an observer when you killed your husband, am I right?? the shrink was not hesitant to ask
?I saved him; I loved him I had to.?
?By lodging a diamond necklace down his throat? Linda he loved you!? I was just about beginning to dislike the shrink, she just didn?t understand.
?He didn?t love me; he loved his love for me!?
?I don?t understand? the psychiatrist said in confusion
?Our inhumanities put layers of dirt over everything, he was just too infected to live, so is everyone else, so are you.? I thought I could scare the shrink a little.
?Ok, well we can move on with that topic, tell me something, how do you feel?? the shrink seemed quite calm asking me this.
?Look out that window, you see those two old ladies? I?m observing my life in the perspective of an old lady about to die; every waking moment of my life is only a greater craving for a change. But all I could do is go to the nearest bench and sit, conversing with others about the beauties of the existence of another day. I accepted that whatever was behind me was long forgotten, and everything we worked for in our lives was for nothing, furthermore we ourselves are worth nothing more than rocks I tell you rocks!?
?Are you worth nothing as well?? the psychiatrist said in an intimidating way.
?I am nothing, haahaahahah? I began to laugh hysterically
The psychiatrist took a long moment to write in her stupid little book, I began to get impatient.
?What are you doing, concluding?? I asked
?That?s none of your business.? The shrink said calmly
?I know what you?re writing, and I just want you to know you?re deceiving yourself.? The shrink ignored me.
?You know I?ve realized that most people distracted by the worldly things like you tend to prove things before they even have enough time to think about it??
The shrink kept writing.
?You know how easy it is for people to just believe what they want to believe and see it as something correct? Do you know how closed minded people can be? LISTEN TO ME!!?
?Security?? she said this rather calmly also. Soon 2 burly men came to restrain me and take me away.
?Your just a victim like everyone else, and when you finally realize how out of place you are you will beg to rot on the inside, screaming to God ?Take back my existence!? but no, he will make you stay on the poop deck of lies you created for yourselves until death takes you to where you belong! Wake up you robots! You mindless drones! WAKE UP!? They were just carrying me out the door as I said this while I was struggling. And she definitely heard me. They put a straight jacket on me and put me in the back of a van and I began to smile. It was dark, just the way I liked it.


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Offlinefreddurgan
Techgnostic
Male

Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: IMO, good story I wrote in highschool [Re: Jon]
    #3849196 - 02/28/05 11:12 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Wow that was really good. I'd have to say it deserved a perfect score.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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