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Recently I've been developing a list of rules to live my life by. It's only been a few months and I already feel as if I am incapable of breaking these rules without tremendous guilt. I don't know if it's the most healthy state of mind but I'm certainly trying to stay on the positive side of things.
My rules: 1.) Try your best to show peace, love, and empathy towards others. 2.) Treat others how you'd like to be treated; forgive and forget. 3.) Be generous, lend a helping hand. 4.) Seek understanding before making judgment. 5.) Be open-minded, think positive. 6.) Overall, try to do the right thing.
I'm actually in need of some advice. I want to make the world a better place and am doing my part by following the set of rules I've written for myself. It's not like I'm doing any of this with hopes I'll be rewarded karmatically, I just want to be a good person. I truly do. The problem is, even though I would do it without reward, it still bothers me that I don't get one. I feel like I deserve one. Is that really so wrong? What can I do about this?
Your beliefs are beneficial in the short term, but extremely rigid and unbalanced.
Supressing negtaive emotions will come to its logical conclusion, which will be an explosion of anger, which will lead to guilt. Do not impose strict rules, just guidelines will do as they are less rigid, more fluid and spacious. Guidlelines allow you room to relax and breathe, dont force anything, that only leads to pain. Imposed rules, leave one feeling ristricted and stressed like a caged animal, soon the negativity will find its way out.
You need to find a mehtod for dealing with your negtivity skillfully, without supressing or expressing your tendencies. Mindfullness is an excellent tool for this, as you can examine the negative emotion before it is fully manifest and let it go, disolving not supressing it, letting it come, and letting it go. This way the negtive emotion is digested by your awareness and doesnt cuase you, or anyone else harm.