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Registered: 01/10/05
Posts: 3
Loc: The Netherlands
parents and friends
    #3816862 - 02/22/05 02:52 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Hi all,

Sorry if this is long, but I could use some advice and would like to hear some of your experiences with parents/friends and tripping, cause my current situation is really bothering me.

My situation is this: I've moved out of my parents' house about half a year ago and now I live on my own. I've had reasonable experience with mushrooms and pot, but the problem is that none of my friends are really interested in drugs. They more or less accept my drug use, although I can sense that a few are against it, they just don't speak out about it.

I've got one friend who *was* interested in trying mushrooms, but one time he ate about 5 grams of fresh cubensis and experienced a level 2 trip a couple of hours afterwards (according to his descriptions). Even this freaked him out a little, although he didn't have a negative experience, he just didn't expect it, I think  :wink:

My first shroom experiences were with a few of my friends around and didn't really get me anywhere (each time the dosage was between 20-30 grams fresh cubensis).

Since I've been living on my own, I've tripped a few times on my own, on higher doses (60 grams cubensis and 20 grams copelandia cyanescens twice). These trips were pretty intense and not exactly negative, but the initial periods of euphoria are always followed by a few hours of negative thought spirals, and I always end up coming out of the trip with negative feelings. These feelings slowly disappear once the experience has had some time to sink in, but a distinct feeling of loneliness always remains. I still consider all these trips to be learning experiences though.

Now to get the first issue out of the way: has anybody here been in a similar situation where friends weren't supportive of your drug use? and how did you deal with it? The story of how I became fascinated with spirituality and entheogenic substances is pretty long, so I won't bore you with that, but let's just say that I got involved with psychedelics completely by myself and my friends found out about my interests later on.

I don't want to push anything onto my friends...I only mention my tripping experiences when somebody asks about them and I'm not at all forcing any of them into trying weed or shrooms or similar substances. They never bring up drugs in conversation and it almost seems like they try to make my drug use go away by never mentioning it.

My problem is that this leaves me with no one to talk to about psychedelics (or even most spiritual topics) and I'm afraid that I'm being too nice to them by not bringing up the subject. I could really use some advice with this, so discuss... Is there anything I could say or show them to spark some interest, or have you found that it's useless trying to convert people like this? Don't get me wrong, they're pretty open-minded people (most of my friends, at least), but when talking about drugs, they always seem pretty flabbergasted and don't really have much of an opinion.

The second issue is my parents. With the many books about psychedelics and related subjects I've read, I've more or less implied that I'm really interested in them, but I don't know if my parents suspect that I've experimented with various psychedelics. The thing is that, for me, my parents' place would probably be the most comfortable place to trip for me, since I feel really at home there and I guess it would allow me to put my mind completely at ease to trip there.

Like my friends, my parents are pretty liberal about most things and quite open-minded as well...they just haven't done any kind of "wild things" in their life, so they don't have any experience with psychedelics whatsoever  :wink:

So, my second question is: what do your parents think about your psychedelic experiments? Do they know about it? If so, how and when did you tell them?

Thanks a lot for reading through all this. Let me know what you think and/or what you would do in my case.

Oh yeah, I'm 22 now  :grin:

Peace  :sun: :mushroom2:

The Dude abides.......

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Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 128
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Re: parents and friends [Re: TheWhiteRabbit]
    #3817031 - 02/22/05 03:37 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I live in the exact same situation. Most of my friends don't talk about drugs (hallucinogens in particular), they're pretty simple minded, or as they state: "I'll never use drugs, I don't need them, just gimme a beer." Argh, can you smell the irony?

But well, I found one person who was interested in psychedelics as well, so at least I can tell my story :smile:

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'Universe' - a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something seperated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
- Albert Einstein

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Re: parents and friends [Re: Bal0n]
    #3817138 - 02/22/05 04:05 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Same here, except I'm somewhat older (36). I started tripping for fun with a few friends, but they didn't want to go the whole way and they gradually stopped once they entered adult life. They were pretty much afraid of anything that went beyond pure fun while tripping, while that was exactly what I was seeking out after a while. So yes, they know I still trip, they may joke about it, but we never seriously discuss it, they just wouldn't understand what I'm getting at, it's totally beyond them. So I don't force it on them, it's just no use. And yes, I sometimes feel very lonely while tripping, also because the experience is hard to convey even to people who are interested and can understand.
I have a couple of friends living abroad who I like to trip with, but still, I don't know if I would be comfortable around them at very high doses. Haven't tried.

Regarding my parents (my mother that is, my father died early on). Well, I went on an ayahuasca trip to Peru about 18 months ago, so I told her what it was about, and also about previous experiences, and that was alright with her. I must add she's the extremely gullible type, interested in most things New Age, so I could convince her of about anything I wish. She was cool with it, she might want to try it one day, but I think it would be too scary for her.  :grin:
I had a harder time with my sister, who is very conservative and extremely closed-minded. But then, she's not my mother, I won't take her advice. I just explained everything very calmly, saying that I'm the person I am in a large part due to psychedelics, that it's had a very positive influence on me (and so she could notice when I came back from Peru), etc.
I think if your folks are open-minded and cool, make them read a few of your books, tell them about the positive impact it's had on you. Open-minded parents can only like what's good for their children, so try to probe their opinions and go for it if you feel like it.

Hope that made sense to you  :wink:

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Registered: 12/10/04
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Re: parents and friends [Re: Aldous]
    #3817177 - 02/22/05 04:15 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I've had plenty of friends that don't condone drug use, or say that it has changed me or something, but then again, I've not started using mushrooms, salvia, or alcohol. I think that most people just do not understand drugs so they like to place a bad label on them. Mushrooms are not bad for you, and most people fail to see that.

However, once I talk to people and educate them on drugs, and everything that goes into them and my reasons behind taking them, they seem to chill out about it and agree to be different. I don't see any problems in my friends that disagree because I don't push anything on anyone. My advice to you is let them know that you are not hurting yourself, and that you are not using it as a crutch.

-The Prodigy


If you haven't gone to http://www.boohbah.com while you are tripping... it's a must.

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Re: parents and friends [Re: TheProdigy]
    #3817679 - 02/22/05 06:02 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

my kids are 21 and 23 - they have tried various but don't regularly do drugs, cigarettes yes, alcohol yes, maybe cocaine I am sad to say sometimes perhaps less than my worst nightmares. I have warned them - and me I am a psychedellic lover, they are not. we have never done things like that together and may never. My wife is not, I am alone. alone.

but there is this shroomery thing etc...

I think the personal quest is more important than the colleague thing with respect to psychedellic, it is very personal and kind of great that I keep it such that it does not impinge on anyone else's lives.
Very great that you also keep it to yourself. You care about your people and don't like alienating them. you see their good hearts and treasure that.

for me, with salvia as the main vehicle, and no lsd available, i guess nobody ever minds because the trips are so short. if i had lsd I guess I would arrange for a day.

my wife is a sitter without ever being involved. well rarely anyway.

but enough about me.

in your case I would be as true as possible to your few true friends and continue being true to yourself about your private interests. study as much as you can about everything as you are 22. Swim in learning until you have to work.

then join the the rest and continue to follow your heart and do what you can to help.

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Re: parents and friends [Re: TheWhiteRabbit]
    #3818390 - 02/22/05 08:15 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Cool story. This kind of challenge always makes for real great tripping, once you work out the bugs!
I can give you some of my own experiences and maybe that will give you some ideas or strength of your own. First of all, the subject of tripping will always cause controversy among those who don't understand or aren't interested, especially in times like these. When I was younger, I approached my friends individually and was at first met with reproach. (I was lucky because I had an older cousin that was tripping a few years before I did so I knew I wasn't crazy). After some time, they each confided in me that they wanted to try but were really afraid of what might happen. I did as much research as information allowed (mid to late 70's) and three of us got together and tripped one day when school let out early on a Friday. That was pretty much the only people I tripped with for about the first year or so. Then I discovered The Grateful Dead concerts - end of that problem!
Then came my own kids, and when my youngest son was about a year old, I decided that I wanted to quit drinking alcohol. To do that, I quit using all mood altering drugs for almost 18 years. Now my kids aren't kids any more and one day they confided in me that they were getting high, from time to time, not because they wanted my blessing but because they didn't want me to find out some other way. That spring, I decided to take them to Bonnaroo (2003). AFOAF had been growing shrooms for a few years but like me (he was sober for almost as long as I had been) was too afraid to eat any because there just wasn't a cool time or opportunity . So we all went to Tennessee and took turns dancing with angels. I waited for the re-emergence of The Dead, on the last night. It was as magical a time as I have ever known! It was worth all the wait and sacrifice. Now I just hope that they can keep away from the down times and pain I faced in my early life. I've tried to teach them about addiction and it's symptoms while myself still not drinking or using any mood altering drugs except for shrooms and some pot, to this day. (I'm thinking about doing some acid this summer at a festival but I haven't decided since shrooms have been so good to me this time around).
I really hope this works out for you because I really feel (and felt - even the years I was totally sober) that tripping, at the appropriate times and places (for me, that is only at concerts and music festivals) can be so magical and invigorating, spiritually. Just the same, you are doing best by not forcing the issue because that would certainly ruin the chances of getting the best out of the experience.

"New shit has come to light..."

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Registered: 01/10/05
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Loc: The Netherlands
Re: parents and friends [Re: GRTUD]
    #3820982 - 02/23/05 06:16 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Alright guys, thanks for your responses so far, it's been really helpful  :laugh:

I think I'm gonna talk to my friends individually and explain my position. Also, my plan is to wait for the right time and see what my parents think about it. Hopefully they won't freak out  :smirk: but I'm pretty confident they won't.

Here's to the future and many great trips  :cheers:  :sun:  :mushroom2:  :grin:

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Re: parents and friends [Re: TheWhiteRabbit]
    #3824041 - 02/23/05 09:02 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I've had friends that i've tripped with and some that I don't. Luckily my wife trips so I never have to look far to find a trip partnet. As for my mom(dad died long ago) she doesn't know and that's fine with me. She worries too damn much as it is, no need to tell her about tripping. I could explain that it's as safe as possible but she'd still worry so it'll prolly be the one thing I'll keep from her.

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Don't panic, it's organic
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Registered: 05/24/04
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Re: parents and friends [Re: discoabe]
    #3824817 - 02/23/05 11:39 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

well i am only 16 and you guys are much older and wiser by now. but the way i see it, if they are your true best friends. you should either cut back on doing drugs (if they kind of hint that idea) or at least make sure they aknowledge that you like to do them. just because my friend talks about cars all day long and i dont like hearing him all the time doesnt make it any less different in your case, or my case. i still stick by him and we can put our differences behind us. so at least bring the topics up and if they are true friends they will listen and maybe learn something, even if they dont trip. my parents do know i do mushrooms and marijuana and drink and they are aok with it. (ex-hippies that feel its wrong to be a hypocrite and say "dont do drugs they will mess you up).

Don't panic, it's organic!

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Re: parents and friends [Re: TheWhiteRabbit]
    #3824884 - 02/23/05 11:52 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Just follow your heart and do your own thing, if your friends are against it, and that is affecting your friendship and your happiness than find new friends.....ya gotta do your own thing, follow your own path.....this path may be difficult, I know mine is, but it's the only way to really know who you are and get the most out of life.  :shrug: :goodluck:


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Registered: 04/11/01
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Re: parents and friends [Re: TheWhiteRabbit]
    #3826174 - 02/24/05 06:28 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I know the situation you're in...

Just noticed you live in the netherlands and that makes it all a little easier. I found out that most friends who find out I use shrooms now and then really don't mind. They usually don't ask about it and I only tell them if they ask about it. All of my closest friends know my psychedelic encounters and very few travel with me (usually 1 person) but I have tripped around sober friends once too together with my other tripping friend and during the peak it's kinda uncomfortable so we left but after the peak it makes for great conversations and discussions and just a load of fun.

I wouldn't trip around other people though and preferably only with a tripping buddy or alone. The important thing is when you decide you talk to your friends/parents about it is to show them you have much knowledge about it (like what it does in the brain, that it isn't really dangerous and that the horror stories they hear are more myths that truth and maybe why you trip and what you gain from it) and to let them know that you're being responsible about it so they don't have to worry about you.

It's maybe only somehting to tell your closest friends about and if you really want your parents. Your friends will maybe not understand it but most likely they'll just accept it as most Dutch people are pretty openminded. With the parents just first get a 'feel' of how they think about these things. Also if you have books on psychedelics they probably have the idea that you use them. Parents always suspect these things :smirk: I don't know the bond you have with your parents but maybe you feel at home there usually but tripping it could get uncomfortable maybe with your parents around...

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