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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
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Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
antisocial
    #3805816 - 02/20/05 04:47 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Sometimes I feel like a social infant. I just don't know how to relate to others. I create this cocoon in my room where I withdraw from the world and hide from social interaction. Even when I'm home with my parents, I'm always in my room, hiding from any interaction. I just feel alienated from everyone. Like no one out there understands me--least of all myself. I just keep hiding from everything out there, waiting for something to happen. I feel truly alone.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3805825 - 02/20/05 05:02 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Some people are just anti-social. I know I am. Every once in a while I get a bug up my ass to go to a bar or something, but it is rare.

You think you are anti-social eh? I'll bet I have you beat. In college our classes started at the bottom of the hour and ended at 50 after the hour. This meant that the time period between every 50 minutes past an hour and the next hour was a horribly crowded time on campus. If I had a class to go to, I would intentionally stay in my room until 2 or 3 minutes after the hour and get there at about 7 or 8 minutes late. I did this just so I did not have to be in the presence of a buunch of people.

Beat that!


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InvisibleLocus
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Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 6,049
Loc: ny/europe/other
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3805971 - 02/20/05 07:40 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I am the same way. I don't know what to do about it.. can't change it..


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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,399
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3806155 - 02/20/05 10:47 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I'm pretty much the same. I generally stay in my room while at home, which is pretty much any time I'm not at work. I have never felt very well understood by others, and I'm finding that as time goes on and I get older I want to spend less and less time around other people.

I think the question you have to ask yourself is: do you really want to change?


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You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineAsanteA
light your candle on my love
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Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3806193 - 02/20/05 11:19 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Paradigm, you are not antisocial, at least not in the medical sense.

Rather you avoid situations that involve other people. You want to relate, but feel you can't.

You're coherent, your grasp of reality looks ok, you use logic and get away with it, and you express the desire to be with others, all being highly valuable assets.

The most common psychologic problem is Social Phobia/Social Avoidance. You're afraid of other people or feel ill or awkward around them and thus you avoid their company. Sounds familiar?

You're NOT content with being on your own so you need to change your social situation, not become content because you are not a hermit by choice. It would be best to remedy this before you move out on your own.

When you're odd it's hard to find friends. People are talking bullshit topics about the weather while you're mentally inserting the amine into the thiazole. You catch my drift! It's pretty awkward to not be able to relate.

The thing is that you are outgrowing the ROUTINE of it, rather then being unable. You're in a vicious circle of I can't/it won't and its that circle you got to get out of.

Try CBT.

(No: Cognitive Behavior Therapy :evil:)
CBT revolves around finding the mistakes in your automatic thought (there will be only a few but they ARE there) and then disarming them with logic. Basically your icannotdoit.exe has jammed and causes the system to hang whenever you want to do something.

Your situation is changable. You will grow into it if you do nothing but at the moment why not try to get rid of it?
I suggest you put your microphone on and blurt out everything that comes to mind regarding you and other people. Do it like Eminem on Meth, raise that tempo, stumble over your words but talk so fast you can't really think about what you're saying. Alternatively you can do this with typing fast. Fuck grammar or logic, blurt it all out.

Then analyze. You might hear yourself say several things that boil down to you being powerless, or unable, or other people generically unfair.. Then you might have found some automatic thinking mistakes, and you can really think through if these things are right or not.

Your parents will be glad the Pope has put Exorcism back on the clergy agenda if they hear you rambling :wink: but you can get results THIS WEEK if you read up on Cognitive Therapy and then do it yourself or better, get a therapist to do it properly.


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3806230 - 02/20/05 11:47 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I'm on the autism spectrum with Asperger's syndrome. Communicating with people usually requires great amout mental energy unless I'm intoxicated with alcohol, which I call the "Jack Kerouac Cure" - since Kerouac was abnormally shy and would drink to supress it. I'm quite content with the solitude. It allows me to reflect. It allows me to write. It allows me to create. My only fear is becoming a reclusive eccentric when I become alot older.


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Offlinebugfungii24
Stranger
Registered: 02/16/05
Posts: 34
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: antisocial [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3806633 - 02/20/05 02:35 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Tried SSRI's? They can make you become a bit more Happy-GO-Lucky. I'm similar to you, but SSRI's help, I'm still avoidant, but I'm much more pleasant and less stubborn when the situation requires it.

As for CBT, it isn't going to help stubborn types who refuse to communicate with themselves logically, let alone to a microphone, and especially not a Dr.
It's not the patients fault that society has shied away from using ecstacy or similar drugs to facilitate this.


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InvisibleWorld Spirit
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Registered: 07/27/01
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Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3806955 - 02/20/05 04:20 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

The truth is a weight.

"He who increases in knowledge increases in sorrows too." - Solomon, King of Israel in ancient times

Grow at the pace that is natural for you.

Be well.  :sun: :sun: :sun:


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Male

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Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3807410 - 02/20/05 06:02 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Man everything you just said is the exact same with me.  I can't stand it anymore.  I just wan't to feel some connection with others, but it feels like it will never happen.  I'm just sitting here waiting for some helpful replys because I have nothing to contribute to getting over this problem we have..

I hope things get better for us both :heart:


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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,645
Re: antisocial [Re: World Spirit]
    #3807413 - 02/20/05 06:02 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I lived 21 years of my life this way, and to a certain extent still do.

Quote:

Tried SSRI's? They can make you become a bit more Happy-GO-Lucky.




They also make your dick limp and impossible to blow a nut. Fuck them!


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InvisibleBi0TeK
elephant man

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 3,002
Loc: Yorkshire Moors, Great Br...
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3807490 - 02/20/05 06:16 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Let me guess.

You guys all smoke weed right?  :smirk:


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PROMOTE BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
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Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
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Re: antisocial [Re: Bi0TeK]
    #3807524 - 02/20/05 06:23 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Bi0TeK said:
Let me guess.

You guys all smoke weed right?  :smirk:



Not on a regular basis, no.


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OfflineLiquidSmoke
My title's cooler than yours DBK

Registered: 09/04/01
Posts: 25,252
Loc: S.A.G.G.Y.B.A.L.L.S.
Last seen: 18 hours, 4 minutes
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3807616 - 02/20/05 06:47 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I think the key is to simply be confident and comfortable with who you are.


Alot of anti-social behavior comes from being made fun of at school during one's adolescence. I think most people in the world can relate to that.

Enjoying the company of others has alot to do with personal initiative, going out and choosing to be social. Maybe you should just find people with common interests.


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"Shmokin' weed, Shmokin' wizz, doin' coke, drinkin' beers.  Drinkin' beers beers beers, rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts.  Who smokes tha blunts?  We smoke the blunts" - Jay and Silent Bob strike Back


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: antisocial [Re: bugfungii24]
    #3807687 - 02/20/05 07:03 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

SSRI's? No. Fuck that shit. I honestly don't believe in that kind of crap. There is no cure for what is neurological. Society can kiss my ass if I'm not extrovert enough for everyone.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
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Registered: 01/01/05
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Re: antisocial [Re: LiquidSmoke]
    #3807713 - 02/20/05 07:09 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

LiquidSmoke said:
Enjoying the company of others has alot to do with personal initiative, going out and choosing to be social. Maybe you should just find people with common interests.



That's the problem. The only place I'm usually able to find people with common interests is on the Shroomery. It's gotten a little better lately, as I've started hanging out with this group of hippies on campus, but even then, I sometimes have trouble relating.


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Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3807845 - 02/20/05 07:40 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I have the same problem. I don't know if you encounter this or not but it seems the people I sometimes hang out with always want to have the most intellectually devoid conversations. They often even seem agitated when I try to bring up meaningful conversation.

It's not a matter of being anti-social (for me at least, maybe this will help?) but rather having nothing in common allowing me to be social. On a few, very few occasions I've found people that have similar interests and any type of "anti-social" behavior disappears.


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It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


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InvisibleSociety
Pizza Guy

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 13,953
Loc: Eating pizza
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3807868 - 02/20/05 07:45 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

SocietyRejects.... :frown:  That's all I can really think to say at the moment...


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Delicious Pizza


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3808828 - 02/21/05 12:28 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)


I've started hanging out with this group of hippies on campus, but even then, I sometimes have trouble relating.

Don't bathe, slather yourself in Patchoulli, and smoke a lot of pot. You'll fit right in with your new friends.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: antisocial [Re: Silversoul]
    #3808969 - 02/21/05 12:54 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

But seriously, there are several types of people in this world.

Some guys have the natural charisma that makes them happy and fun to be around. These guys are "alpha males". You can put them in any situation and they make friends, have tons of confidence, and always come out on top. Other people want to be around them. Being an alpha male cannot be learned. You either are born with it or you aren't in my opinion.

Then come the "sub-alpha males". These guys are the sidekicks of the alpha males. They have a reasonable amount of confidence in their own right, but they don't have that "spark" that is required to be a full-fledged alpha male.

Next you have the "beta male pretenders" that act fake in order to try to fit in. They cover up their lack of charisma and coolness by pretending to be something they are not. This is usually glaringly obvious because beta males CANNOT be alpha males or sub-alpha males. You can spot guys like this a mile away. These guys usually cling to alpha and sub-alpha males.

Then you have the "beta male loners" that don't fit in and refuse to be "beta male pretenders" because they have too much intelligence and dignity. These guys are usually shy, lack social grace, are fairly intelligent, and don't fit in easily with a social group.

You are a beta male loner it sounds like. I am a beta male loner with sprinklings of a sub-alpha male. We are what we are. Maybe things will turn around for you one day, but I have my doubts. I used to think I would change. I haven't yet. I will probably always be like I am right now.


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: antisocial [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3809151 - 02/21/05 01:32 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
But seriously, there are several types of people in this world.

Some guys have the natural charisma that makes them happy and fun to be around. These guys are "alpha males". You can put them in any situation and they make friends, have tons of confidence, and always come out on top. Other people want to be around them. Being an alpha male cannot be learned. You either are born with it or you aren't in my opinion.






That is wrong anyone can become alpha male. People are progressively programed by the society around them, it is impossible to have a natural power to be an alpha male. You just have to reprogram your brain.

Read this-
http://vitalcoaching.com/mindpower/how_to_reprogram_your_mind.htm

It could be some help...

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
You are a beta male loner it sounds like. I am a beta male loner with sprinklings of a sub-alpha male. We are what we are. Maybe things will turn around for you one day, but I have my doubts. I used to think I would change. I haven't yet. I will probably always be like I am right now.




That also shows how much low self esteem you have. You should learn that you can change your life if you choose too.


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