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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc:
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No desire to ever sleep again.
#3802771 - 02/19/05 08:30 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't know if it's because I'm on SSRI withdrawal or what, but ever since this morning I feel EXTREMELY angry and out of touch with reality. I had this epicly lengthy dream last night that has skrewed with my head completely or something. I woke up this morning with extmreley blurred vision and this feeling that the phsyical me is going to die while I must spend all eternity in an anxious panic inside my head.
Fuck. This is almost exactly what happened last June. I had a funky dream and went INSANE becuase of it. I was traumatized my entire summer until I experienced miserable anxiety and became so desparate that I put myself on SSRI's again. After about 3 months of this SSRI bullshit, I started weening off my dosage and I stopped takign the drug completely(that was about Monday).
I feel such extreme abivalence right now. I want to burst into tears and bawl like a child whie at the same time I want to smash everything I can get my hands on. I really wouldn't mind it if my head were to be blown off right now. I'm fucking miserable and have an unsatiable desire for instant gratification from this misery. I'm out of touch with reality and I need to be grounded to the Earth again.
ANd I apologize for being a whining bitch.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc:
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: Society]
#3802802 - 02/19/05 08:54 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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This topic should be deleted. I just poured a bowl of Post's Cranberry Almond Crunch and turned on the my Xbox. I've calmed down a bit, although I'm still rather miserable. If I don't feel better in a week; I'm seeing my psychologist and/or a holistic doctor. I'll look into SJW.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: Society]
#3804085 - 02/19/05 05:35 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hey I'm a reject of society too hehe You'll be cool man, everybody has their stress moments! I certainly haven't coped with my emotion to well at times! Good sig! The US sucks, just like UK and the rest of the world really.
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: Society]
#3804096 - 02/19/05 05:36 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't think I'd look too far into dreams.
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World Spirit
PNW
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 9,817
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: Society]
#3804167 - 02/19/05 06:01 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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If you're looking for being grounded....
...try removing all pleasures and enteratinment from your life for 48hrs or longer. Eat vegetarian foods only and drink water alone.
Examine your conscience gently.
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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc:
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: World Spirit]
#3804940 - 02/19/05 09:53 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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In all honesty, I'm utterly terrified to go to sleep tonight. I woke up this morning EXTREMELY pissed off, unfocused on reality, and anxious. It reminded me of this thread that someone else posted about 2 days ago.
Could this be a result from quitting taking my SSRI, Lexapro? I thought that the withdrawal was supposed to be mild or almost nonexistant if you weened off the drug. Should I go cut a pill in half and take the 5 mg or should I wait this out and hope that I'm not permanently screwed up like the last time I quit (cold turkey on 15-20 mg)? My psychiatrist has been NO help. He wants me to take MORE drugs on top of Lexapro... Klonopin and Seroquel which I KNOW would make me 20x more miserable. When I was on Klonopin, if I missed a dose, I entered multiple hour long mental states of rage where I'd smash things and curse under my breathe almost incontrollably. Is that normal?
Bargh, I'm going to quit being a bitch and face my current biggest fear: sleep. Good night.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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BloodNOil
Captain Zeep
Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 1,020
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: World Spirit]
#3805066 - 02/19/05 10:29 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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passive entertainment is a very powerful thing. It changes your focus from daily reality to an imaginary reality. In the past few decades, passive entertainment like television and computer games have enveloped our society and made many people numb to reality.
Enter the MTV generation. Thank you.
-------------------- It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
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World Spirit
PNW
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 9,817
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: Society]
#3805122 - 02/19/05 10:40 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Listen to me pls:
I personally am against the use of pharmaceutical pills in general, although I'm not going to say "NEVER!" With that said, I think it would be very prudent of you to study (immediately) safe herbs that definitely can help if not guide you to where you need to be. There are awesome herbs that specifically treat insomnia. There are others that specifically treat anxiety. Others for depression, panic, indigestion, etc. The same Being who made humans made food for humans. Let your food be your medicine and let your medicine be your food.
Books:
Rosemary Gladstar's Family Herbal: A Guide to Living Life with Energy, Health and Vitality
The Way of Herbs by Michael Tierra
There are many other books out there and they are well, well worth it.
Two notes I must add (even at the risk of offense): All of us must stop doing what our souls condemn (example: you condemn swearing in front of children yet you yourself swear in front of little children). All of us must try to get calibrated...get sober...get sane. This takes effort. Seek a positive, good path in life and pursue it with all your heart. Stumble you might, but don't fall and stay down.
Be well!
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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc:
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: World Spirit]
#3806314 - 02/20/05 10:36 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks for the advice. While I personally HATE these pharm drugs (esp. SSRI's, benzos, antipsychotics), they do help numerous people. I've been recently researching various herbs and the field holistic medicine using the internet. Some that have caught my eye are -St. John's Wort Extract (Hypericin) for depression -Kava Kava for sleep and anxiety -Ginko Biloba for mental clarity -Peruvian Maca for hormones and drive et cetera
I've been searching for good books and resources on the subject because internet sources are very questions, especially vendors of the herbs, foods, and methods of self-help. Think I could find good books on the subject at a local bookstore?
On a lighter note, my dream last night wasn't horrific and nightmarish as the previous; it involved me & voyeur. I did still manage to wake up in a sickly, miserable daze.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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World Spirit
PNW
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 9,817
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Re: No desire to ever sleep again. [Re: Society]
#3806929 - 02/20/05 02:13 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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I would have a friend ask you this: In your eyes is there a giant magnifying glass that you look thru in order to see life?
If so, you may want to actually focus on letting certain matters out of the magnifying glass view.
My thoughts.
Books:
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