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I would like to share with all of you an amazing time i went through about 7 months ago.
I was out enjoying a great day at my cabin, the family was gone i was all alone. So with nothing better to do i hate about 4 grams of shroom.......alone. I was told by an elder to never do this. But i assumed it would be fun alone because i could go run around by myself and have no one to worry about.
The night started off great so i wanted to kick it up a notch. So i ate another gram of mush. Then things started to really pick up. The trip started to go off, and i was loving life...............Untill i went BONKERS i went crazy what started out as a great time turned into the worst time of my life to date. I found myself standing in one spot and opening and closing doors and walking in and out and in and out... not knowing what was going on ( i was having a bad trip) i couldn't remeber what drug i had done and i had no idea how long it was going to last. It felt like i was lost in a big moving world jus twondering what was going to happen. Time was moving backwards and i even tried calling people to ask questions but i would hang up as soon as i dialed. Im not sure if something spooked me or if it was just not my day for mush. I was running around the town laughing to myself and crying at the same time, as people looked at me i tryed to act normal but that only made me look more crazy. So i ventured off into the night and the vally with hope of finding answers to what was going on. The whole time i hated what i was feeling and what was going on, its liek my mind didn't no what the world was or who i was (i geuss thats whats expected when you do drugs lol) at one point i didn't no who i was so i started looking for clues to put me back into reality. The night never seemed to end with only myself to try and keep me together. At one point i was standin in one spot and then licked a wall (may sounds gross but i did it and i dont no why geuss i was just f*cked)i could no longer deal wit the trip so i laid down and tryed to close my eyes and told myself if i fall asleep and die i wont no any diffrent cause ill be dead and if i wake up ill deal with what i went through the night befor. I closed my eyes only opening them ever 10 seconds (that 10 seconds felt like 5 days)........so finaly i woke up the next day and thought about my life and tried to peice together what i went though........ I WENT BONKER........that trip was the worst expireance of my life seeing "X's" everywhere and watching walls and trees roll backwards just wasn't fun that night..........so i waited a week and did then again with a buddy and that time i realized that i geuss i was just unlucky the one time by myself..............
So what i thought would be a night of fun turned out to be ( cant find the word to explain it the only word that comes to mind when i think of that night is the word BONKERS)
You see the symbolism? You were temporarily losing part of your filter of conditioning, which tells you who you are in this world. You didn't realize what was happening, so you started to physically act out your inner struggle with losing your ego.
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