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tox
'head

Registered: 08/25/01
Posts: 40
Loc: NE PA
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My main ideas.
#378946 - 08/26/01 01:19 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
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As someone who wanted to end his life at a very young age, I constantly struggled to come up with an explanation for the nature of things. I figured if I could understand consciousness, than these horrible thoughts and feelings would go away.
Of all the theories I had, none seemed more plausible than this one. I watched a lot of quantum leap as a kid, so just bear with some of the borrowed similarities.
Consider each human being as a creator. (God, if you want to think of it like that.) This creator being in the center of his or her universe. Now consider all the people in the world as travelling marbles (The basic idea here is an object moving at a constant speed in a general direction.) We bump into each other, we interact and cause each other to change paths and directions. We make contact, we lose contact, one action sets off millions of reactions, and so forth.
It makes sense to me, and I have yet to think of a reason why this would not seem feasible. Then again, this is the first time I've wanted to share it.
Any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.
What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play THAT song at this very moment?
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In your face, Space Coyote!
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CACA
veteran
Registered: 07/12/01
Posts: 1,122
Last seen: 22 years, 9 months
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Re: My main ideas. [Re: tox]
#378949 - 08/26/01 01:24 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you want to see things that way, its okay. Reality is what you make it, I think. Having things require work of yourself or a working, non-depressed brain is what this sounds like. I think that means I'm a chameleon. I suck.
-------------------- "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." John 15:5
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tox
'head

Registered: 08/25/01
Posts: 40
Loc: NE PA
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Re: My main ideas. [Re: CACA]
#378955 - 08/26/01 01:38 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
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It comes and goes...i refuse to go on meds again, though. It felt so....synthetic. I'd much rather stick to drugs that don't come from a corporation.
What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play THAT song at this very moment?
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In your face, Space Coyote!
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CACA
veteran
Registered: 07/12/01
Posts: 1,122
Last seen: 22 years, 9 months
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Re: My main ideas. [Re: tox]
#378959 - 08/26/01 01:42 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've never gone on meds, but I'm in a really sucky mixed state and I've been here for so long. Depressed in such a way that I can't really care, which makes it a dull depression, since I'm not fighting. I'm too conscious and lacking in confidence to go completely hypomanic, so I'm just all in between and moreso depressed than not. It comes and goes. I did it to myself, but I didn't think this type of thing would happen. Sucks to say the least..
-------------------- "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." John 15:5
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tox
'head

Registered: 08/25/01
Posts: 40
Loc: NE PA
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Re: My main ideas. [Re: CACA]
#378992 - 08/26/01 03:19 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think I know what you mean...as shitty as I feel about my life, it's the only thing that feels comfortable. I've been like this for so long that thoughts of death and suicide are so commonplace that I'm actually surprised when I'm not thinking about it. (Usually the fleeting feeling I get every once in a while...fits of mania)
What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play THAT song at this very moment?
-------------------- ------
In your face, Space Coyote!
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