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 MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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 Discussing sexuality with parents... 
#3782029 - 02/15/05 02:07 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I go back and forth on whether or not I want to tell my mom that I think I am bisexual. I am attracted to women, but not attacted to anyone of the male sex, save my husband (who is, coincidently, feminine for a guy). I always fantasize about lesbian sex and to be honest, most male organs turn me off. She and I have gotten close in the past few months, to the point where I feel a little bit safer telling her now. She is a fundie Christian, but I don't think she really has any beliefs of her own, since she usually does what my dad tells her to do. (or that's how it appears) I probably could never tell my dad because he is VERY against homosexuals, although I secretly wish one day I could come out to him too. Basically, I'd just like this aspect of myself to be known by my parents.
I know there is the possiblity that she will tell my dad. I don't know. A part of me thinks I should just continue my relationship with my mother and screw telling her these types of things, but I've spent much of my life hiding myself from them and now that I'm an adult I feel like it's important that I "come clean" on a variety of issues, not just sexuality.
I probably WON'T tell her, but what do you guys all think?
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 onetime
onetime
Registered: 11/13/03
Posts: 3,609
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: MOTH]
#3782036 - 02/15/05 02:12 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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i am non sexual i think but if i was a girl i would be bi i think although right now as a male i dont get alone with bi's i do have a gf only becouse it just happend and she is cool and shit i lived my whole life with out a gf didnt have sex till i was nearly 21 i dont really like sex i like hanging out wiht girls im sorry for you i think i wouldnt tell her its none of her benuss about your sex life its just sex sex should only be like 1-5% of some ones life
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40oz
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 30,119
Loc: Sandy Eggo. Ca.
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: MOTH]
#3782049 - 02/15/05 02:22 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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your parents dont have to know everything.
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: 40oz]
#3782053 - 02/15/05 02:27 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I know. I guess I've always wanted my parents to be more like friends to me. 
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy
Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: MOTH]
#3782402 - 02/15/05 06:54 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's hard because they're not. They are your parents, not your buddies. I'm having this issue too...I'm trying to bridge this canyon between myself and my parents and it's really not easy.
I left home when I was 16 and never went back because of some serious issues that were going on, but now I'm 23 I'm trying to repair this tattered relationship that I have with my parents and as much as I would love to be 'friends' with them and invite them into my life, it's just ain't gonna happen like that.
I'm thier kid and they are never going to see me as anything different. When I have a kid, I will choose how to mold my relationship with her/him...but I can't do that to my parents relationship with thier kid. They made thier choices and it is what brought us here. I'm thier kid for a reason, I guess....but if they knew everything it would be all bad. Not only would I not have the groovy type parents that I always wanted, but I just would barely even have parents.
*sigh*
I don't know...I guess it's always different, I just think that there is a fine line about what parents need to know about thier kids. Some parents ARE wickid friends and they know most everything...but most of them are just mom and dad.
I guess in the end it's just really up to you, but it's a real risk, eh? Espcially when you live such a liberal liftstyle and they don't...
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Fliquid
Back from being gone.
Registered: 03/18/02
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Loc: omotive
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 Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: MOTH]
#3782440 - 02/15/05 07:13 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you think that they would for sure respond very agressive. And not allow you to speak anymore/or listen to you speak.
In that case I recommend you write them a "from the heart" letter.
They give you a feeling of guilt, release yourself from it.
Good luck! 
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 My latest music! 
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: 
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: 40oz]
#3782468 - 02/15/05 07:24 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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40 sed:Quote:
your parents dont have to know everything.
the only person you should be discussing it with is your partner or potential 3some people.
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: Adden]
#3782474 - 02/15/05 07:26 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
s2dope said:
40 sed:Quote:
your parents dont have to know everything.
the only person you should be discussing it with is your partner or potential 3some people.
I guess you're right. I keep wanting to tell them something about me that they don't know and that's important to me.
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: MOTH]
#3782489 - 02/15/05 07:32 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Find something else. If they disagree with it, it'll be a big blow to your sexuality/personality.
Your mom and pops might not want to picture their little girl eatin clams.
Spend more time with them. Learn things about *them*. Become a harder listener. They're not gonna be around forever. Besides, they probably have more interesting stories 
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: Adden]
#3782554 - 02/15/05 07:58 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Parents can surprise you.
They will know stuff about you that you didnt know that they knew. It wouldnt surprise me if your mother already suspected your sexual preference.
If you DO tell them, they may be upset at first but Im willing to bet that they will still LOVE you regardless of what your sexual preference is.
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PS_Cubes
Searching...
Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 393
Loc: ...for LSD
Last seen: 16 years, 9 days
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: niteowl]
#3782572 - 02/15/05 08:06 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Better sooner then later, I say. But wait till they are in a good mood. 
PS: niteowl... those mushrooms look delicious
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: PS_Cubes]
#3782597 - 02/15/05 08:20 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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They were... 
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KristiMidocean
fattie whale
Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 3,702
Loc: Texas
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: niteowl]
#3782673 - 02/15/05 08:59 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I also have a very baptst home and I am bi-sexual! bu you already know this ellemy:) I have never told my parents about it because I know they would disown me. But I have told them that I smoke pot... and all they did with that is say that they disagreed with it but they dont think its that big of a deal. The of course wish I wouldnt, but if I am going to anyways then to just be careful and smart about it so they dont have to get me out of jail or get hurt driving (which might I say I drive better high then sober) So if you feel like you have to tell them something important about yor life I dont think your sexuallity is really their buisness but if you want to let them know more of who you are tell them you smoke. Ellemy I know your parents and I thik that if you told them you smoke they would take that better then you being bi! LOL I can just see your moms face now... and your dad.. no Chickipoo dont tell them your bi. well you can if you want but i dont see any positive results from it
I LOVE SWEETHEART
Kristi
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RJLR
No greater love
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 418
Loc: France, keepin' tabs with...
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: niteowl]
#3782689 - 02/15/05 09:08 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've been bi for as long as I can remember... Playing sexual games with girl cousins that was just some thing we did ever time we got together for like 5 years old till 12, when our innocents turn into hormones... I told my parents and they were shocked but now they are cool, and if fact my mum had some questions of her own which was an strange conversation, but I felt proud that she got the courage up to talk to me. I've been with 7 or so men in my life, and some were butch some were really feminine the guy I've been with now for 6 years is a bit of both and open about my sexuality and understands that some times I go for girls.... I have this idea that every one male or female have strange desires that go against their culture or up bring... if you act on them then you get a title given to you be some one... The thing about girlie sex is that it can go on and on and on all night long... with blocks you got to be shifting gears all the time to keep it going, but thats sensual too... not one better then the other, it's how you feel about the person that makes the day.;)
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It's better to really feel at the time, then to have a dull impression of what you might have felt. 
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Bri
Junglist Wifey
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 115
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 9 years, 17 days
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: MOTH]
#3784024 - 02/15/05 03:12 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I don't think that I'd tell them. I agree with s2dope about them probably not wanting to picture you with another girl. Just think, they probably don't really want to picture you with a guy either. Swithch places with your parents, I mean, would you want your mom, or your dad for that matter to let you know that they were bi? Maybe it's just me, but I'd prefer to not know my parents sexual business, and I'm pretty sure they don't particularly want to know mine. 
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"Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic." - Salvadore Dali
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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc:
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Re: Discussing sexuality with parents... [Re: Bri]
#3784154 - 02/15/05 03:40 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Does your husband know that you're bi? If your partner knows and is well-acquainted with your parents, he probably would have strong enough judgement to help you make a descision.
I've pontificated on what a situation in which my parents were also my friends would be like. Unfortunately, they're closeminded WASPs who would disagree with and probably become extremely upset with a lot of my ideas and beliefs and also the way I am.
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Delicious Pizza
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