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Offlinethe_phoenix
Stranger

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
two poems
    #3776948 - 02/14/05 02:24 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Evil Is Not I

Joined by the colour spectrum?black and white,
All of us joined by the human fight.
In evil's shadow I pray for good,
It's direction showing me where I stood.
The shadow is mine for it follows my flight, day and night.


Misunderstanding

Illusions I can see,
No-thing I can feel.
Experience to me,
Is neither false nor real.
What is there to topple in a society of lies?


Transmutation

The rose, uprooted, withers in pain,
While clenching it now, I bleed my vein.
My tearing eye pictures red on red,
Betraying the fight of my hand, of my head.
Where does the rose end, my hand begin?
Neither can think, nor believe in sin.
Despite resistance my blood still flows,
As against the grain I meet my woes.
Where the roses die, the humans lie,
A bed of thorns awaits those who deny.


My Thoughts And I.

Saying I'd always have control,
In the future they went?to delight.
While left behind to take the toll,
I knew I was not doing right.
To defeat the addiction I surrendered my plan,
And came to terms with the distance I ran.
For the present is all I can ever control,
No matter the context, no matter my role.
I await their return, with a spliff in hand,
Eager to reunite with my soul.


Edited by the_phoenix (02/14/05 01:58 PM)


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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,870
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: two poems [Re: the_phoenix]
    #3776965 - 02/14/05 02:31 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

> What is there to topple in a society of lies?

i dig


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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,870
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: two poems [Re: BrAiN]
    #3776967 - 02/14/05 02:32 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Mind if I put that lats one in my AIM profile?

with due credit of course


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Offlinethe_phoenix
Stranger

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: two poems [Re: BrAiN]
    #3777998 - 02/14/05 11:48 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Sure thing BrAiN. :smile:

And I added another one, Transmutation.


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,898
Re: two poems [Re: the_phoenix]
    #3778440 - 02/14/05 01:36 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

the transmutation one is very dark. 

overall  :thumbup:


--------------------
Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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Offlinethe_phoenix
Stranger

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: two poems [Re: Jim]
    #3778527 - 02/14/05 01:57 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Thanks GratefulJim.

I added another one, My Thoughts and I.

Anybody can offer constructive criticism? Eventually I'd like to publish a book at least partly of poetry. What do I need to do, to get from here to there? I'm focusing mainly on the meaning behind the poem, and less on the asthetic quality of each word in relation to its context. I wrote all these pretty quickly, too. Anything blatantly missing/off?


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OfflineJCoke
dream observer
Male

Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 1,229
Loc: maryland Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: two poems [Re: the_phoenix]
    #3780786 - 02/14/05 11:15 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

very good stuff.

don't know much about poetry but I love reading it everytime I come across some here at the shroomery, or anywhere else at that..

I particularly liked Misunderstanding, short, sweet, touching, and it means something deep to me, love it.

:thumbup:


--------------------
hello, your name is life on earth
------------------------------------

"I traveled a long way seeking God, but when I finally gave up and turned back, there He was, within me! O Lalli! Now why do you wander like a beggar? Make some effort, and He will grant you a vision of Himself in the form of bliss in your heart." -the saint of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition: Lalli.


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