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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Anxiety I love it!
    #3747889 - 02/07/05 11:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Ok I have this anxiety problem with social events mainly. Ive had it for about 3 years now and Im starting to get really tired of it. So now I started to tell myself to be more confident and start talking to people so I forced myself no matter how nervous I felt. I was told that this is the way you get rid of your anxiety by facing the fears but it just seems to get worst the more I face them. These past days after forcing myself to be confident, Ive been getting soooo anxious about everything. It seems like my anxiety problems are getting worse! Today I almost had a panic attack for no reason at all. i dont understand!!! It seems that facing your fears doesnt work what should I do!!!  Or am i wrong? :confused:


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Offlinethedman
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3748186 - 02/07/05 11:54 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I say just try to be yourself,you shouldnt feel you have to go up and talk to people at social events.

Most times i dont talk to people unless they talk to me and sometimes it will start a good conversation and makes new friends,i dont have lots of friends but the ones i do have are there for life you just meet peple that have the same things in common as you by accident most times i find just be you say things you would say and be true,i don't know just an idea.


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InvisibleWorld Spirit
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3748231 - 02/08/05 12:02 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Follow your convictions.


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Invisiblep4kSouL
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: thedman]
    #3748250 - 02/08/05 12:05 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

yes yes ive been trying to be myself but like my body wont let myself be myself! there has to be some people that have gone through this experience. is there a way to train yourself to be relaxed and yourself around people? I know it may sound easy for people that dont have this problem yet i have messed up thinking patterns. ahhh!


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Offlinethedman
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3748489 - 02/08/05 12:41 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Ive had a similar problem i found the panic disorder tended to stem from things in me like self doubt tramitic events not delt with,i gave myself time by myself to find myself and i learned to be who i am and to be confident with who i am i feel a little bit of the anxity sometimes but i am much better than i use to be. work on your self get to the root of the problem,people are here to help rememer that,but it's up to you you can do it, you know who you are find yourself.

everyone is differnt but this is what works for me i hope i helped a little.


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Offlinecanid
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3748490 - 02/08/05 12:41 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

facing issues like this head on [the so called "bull by the horns" approach] can be helpful, but just [perhaps more] as important is the manner in wich you face your problem. you can't always handle something you cant prepare for.

i get an odd kind of agoraphobia, triggered specificaly by Cosco stores. most of the time i can't remain in the store more than half an hour. i've ad this problem for a while ad work on it, but that dosen't make it go away.


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: canid]
    #3748660 - 02/08/05 01:03 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Do anyone believe in the terms-

"Fake it" until you can "make it."

It is said that when you treat yourself like you deserve to feel good and be nurtured, slowly you'll come to believe it.
( i read that on a website )

So I'm guessing i should just believe that i should be myself and i would slow come to believe it.  :confused:


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Offlinepassitbobbie
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3749555 - 02/08/05 04:01 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

MJ can turn depression into anxiety. lol could be helpful ;p


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3750302 - 02/08/05 11:07 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, head on approach does work but is very hard at first.

Don't use any drugs or smoke any cigarettes to take away the anxiety because it will return with full force!

Its all about reprogramming your mind which is why the head on approach works, because eventually you have to relax being that you are in the situation so much.

The mind works by associations. Everything you sense can give an emotion or/and thought which can in turn lead on to other emotions thoughts!

Like, the guy who has anxiety in the store, his mind has associated the anxiety with the store. And probably certain triggering points within the store, such as queing and paying!

Of course, knowing this doesn't make the physical symptons any less, unfortunately! (I suffer anxiety too!) Its about changing the association and thus changing your response.

Hypnotism works, although its not a miracle cure. Hypnotists can find the triggers and reassociated them into excitment and alertness. Where you would feel anxiety, you feel happy instead! I say its not a miracle cure because if you reprogram your mind into anxiety mode again, then it has to be programmed back! Its better to learn to program yourself than have somebody else do it for you!

Beta-blockers are also a good 'cheat' method. They actually block the anxiety feeling in the brain, giving you plenty of chance to go out and reprogram your mind, so that you don't need them any longer.

The head on approach will always be the winner though. Its best to nip anxiety in the bud as soon as you realise its existance, on any level. If you avoid the situation then you are only confirming the anxiety and allowing it to re-assure itself or re-manifest in other ways.

When I personally experience anxiety, I just try to remember that nobody cares, they are all to worried with maintaining their own selves and their own anxiety/other issues. Don't think to the future, don't assume others thoughts. Live in the moment.

I hope this helps.


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Invisiblep4kSouL
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: Ego Death]
    #3752694 - 02/08/05 10:09 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

yeah I notice that like when I think more in the future it makes me even more anxious. Like lets say im about to talk to this girl i like the next day. The more i think about her and what im going to say the more she stands out in my mind making me extremely nervous. one night i spent the whole night thinking about this girl and what i should say to her. when i came up to her the next day i could barely even get the word "hi!" out of my mouth. ugh... how can you reprogram your mind? sometimes i cant help to think in the future.


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OfflineRevelant
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How to stop thinking it the wrong way [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3755787 - 02/09/05 01:40 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Social anxiety is very common in this harsh world we live in.
We learn already at very yougn age to expect that everything we say may and will be used against us. Social activities in our mind become a potential treath to our well being and peace of mind.

Assuming that people think bad things about you is an useless thought.
You can think bad things about them aswell and see it is just a waste of time. People rarely think about people

Social anxiety is about conditioning. Should try consciouss reconditioning. And do realise, they have social anxieties too.
It's just ridiculous.


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Like any of it matters...


Edited by Revelant (02/09/05 01:43 PM)


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Offlinemr_kite
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Re: How to stop thinking it the wrong way [Re: Revelant]
    #3762732 - 02/10/05 06:01 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I used to have this. Still do sometimes...


My tips:

1) Stop smoking weed. It's OK to smoke occasionally, but not all the time. The odd Q should do no harm. You'll miss it at first but not thereafter, and you'll feel so much for it THIS CANNOT BE UNDERESTIMATED!!!

2) Improve your self-image. Think about the good things you have in your life. Think about how nobody can take them away from you. THink of all the reasons you have to be happy. You should have pride in yourself. Learn to love yourself.

3) Look into meditation/buddhist philosphy. Theres a lot to help you there.

4) Accept that maybe you'll never be superconfident. I know I used to have this image in my head of myself being the life and soul of the party... now I know I'll never be truly outgoing or everybody's friend, but I don't want to be. I'm happy being me. And happy ripping the piss out of some mothafuckin cunts behind their backs while blazin my smoke... :smile:

5) If you don't have one, get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Obviously social anxiety can get in the way, but I met a girl just as I was fighting SA and she fucking took me out of it. There's nothing like a bit of ladylove to help you on your way...


Good luck man. Theres nothing so horrible as SA and it fucking crippled me for a while...sometimes I thought I'd never be over it, but I am. Just remember that you can talk about anything... talk about your shoes, the walls, the bricks... if you do, sooner or later something funny will come out, break the ice and you'll be away...


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let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
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Re: How to stop thinking it the wrong way [Re: mr_kite]
    #3766315 - 02/11/05 01:13 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

mr_kite said:

5) If you don't have one, get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Obviously social anxiety can get in the way, but I met a girl just as I was fighting SA and she fucking took me out of it. There's nothing like a bit of ladylove to help you on your way...





This is my main problem with social anxiety. I like this girl sooo much but when ever i talk to her i get really fucking nervous and cant think of anything interesting to talk about. This makes me feel like shit, it makes me feel like Im a boring person to be with. I know if i had a gf i would have such a better life. i also feel like she is the only girl i will ever find in the world she seems so perfect. this really sucks!


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OfflineCirclesongs
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: p4kSouL]
    #3770483 - 02/12/05 11:43 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I find that Herb sometimes increases anxiety. Try exsersing and meditation I fully agree with danoEoboy and don't trip if you feel just a tad anxiety the trip will be more of a worry session for while. Peace. eat right, workout, mediaitate and rty to put yourself in a good place remove yousrself from negative situations.


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OfflinePsyhigh
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Re: Anxiety I love it! [Re: Circlesongs]
    #3771801 - 02/12/05 08:15 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I can kind of relate but thinking about it I suppose I'm not socially 'anxious'.. I dunno. But saying that, I spent all day a couple of days ago in my room at uni, eating nuts for lunch and dinner in my room because I didnt want to go to the kitchen to eat because it was full with vibrant and giggling girls, but bless them that they're happy. I find it hard to be with people at times but not because of any anxiety - I regularly get depressed, of which I am now on medication for after trying so long to get to the root of the depression to no success, whatever my method or train of thought I would always get knocked down, almost bi-polar, periods of great inspiration, creativity and productivity, and connection, clarity and sociability, followed by emptiness, loneliness, and not much else. I experience my potential, but cannot sustain it. Anyways - I have come to realise that the way this is most damaging is socially - the emptiness I become makes involving conversation impossible or conspicuously feigned, and tends to override most emotion. It makes it very hard and a real effort to interact because I have nothing to say most of the time. Then again, this isn't true, I have plenty to say, I could discuss all night about a plethora of topics.. but I suppose, just not to most of the people I meet day to day. Which is maybe where an aspect of the problem lies, not having the support I need in relationships, or the depth I'm craving. Saying that, Why do I need to find this externally, can this strength not be found within - but I'm just a human, and to deny this need would be to deny my humanness. I use to think I could 'transend' the more negative human emotions and experiences, but have learnt that such a misinterpreted perspective was damaging and unrealistic, at least for myself and maybe particularly during a certain part of my life. Anyways, what i really long for is a partner, the 'right girl' you know, but I worry that the connection I'm searching for is unrealistic, but I think realistically, its not unrealistic, just someone who understands really, and maybe also see's the miracle of it all, and also feels the confusion and pointlessness of it all too at times. Maybe these latter times will dissipate as life progresses, as new people and places come my way, maybe they wont, which is cool too I suppose, I guess the way things are will be the way things are, and all we can do is try our best throughout.

I'm sorry to have waffled on to myself, but I'm sure its been of some help in some way to waffle on a bit to myself -
Well I'm hoping your 'problems' which I dunno, maybe they're not problems? get easier to deal with as time goes on. Certainly I think it is important to set yourself challanges each day, but its important to build your way up - dont go all out, which you seem to have described doing with negative results, take it slowly. One good thing could be to try and make eye contact just with people you're walking past every day, maybe give a little nod or a hi to them... heh I think you might find that they are often the ones avoiding contact a lot of the time! I guess its about who you are, and how you would like yourself to be as a person, and working towards this. A few years back I would have been unrealistic before the challanges of my own and said 'wa-hey, you can be anyone you want, theres nothing to be worried or down about, life is just a passing moment!!' but im thankful for what im going through for amending this naivety - of my own experience and perception, that is. But again, I think its about taking it step by step again - if you immediately want to be free from all anxieties, this is likely to be unrealistic and any small progressions that are made will likely be eroded by the overwhelming demand of your ideals. I guess its about setting small and achievable goals. And its certainly about patience also. Change takes time. Nature will certainly back me up on that one. I know it sounds cheesy but by taking deep breaths pref at all times but also at times of anxiety it is proven to reduce anxiety in a number of ways that I cannot recall enough to make it sound persuasive - and also, maybe try visualizing a situation before it manifests as reality, visualizing yourself as being calm etc in that situation ie, doing this just before you talk to the lucky girl. Sorry for the cheesyness but it might be of some surface help. And then comes meditation and all of that which I would be a hippocrite to emphasise the importance of because i fail to do this regularly and successfully myself - but really might help too, but I'm sure you might be aware of this already. I've heard Kava Kava can be mildly effective for anxiety too, known to calm and relax etc I dunno it just might be of some help on the surface as I say.

anyways, I think the flow of my thought is starting to break up, or maybe that started when i clicked on reply, but take care anyways
-Tim C


Edited by PropertyIsTheft (02/12/05 08:24 PM)


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