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Jon
Registered: 06/28/03
Posts: 961
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I need mental help [Re: California]
#3713857 - 02/01/05 02:29 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Im putting aside my religious issues, I dont think they are worth fighting for. Honestly I dont know if my God is the source of my depression, but he is the source of many others, ill tell you that. My depression has gone to the point that if I think about it, I think about killing myself because even though I cant escape eternity, I can escape this overwhelming thought process that usually leads to spite, anger, confusions and anxiety. Everything i have said on this post made me feel like I didnt think before I spoken. That is because my problems has become so informative, soo many small complications of my own personality and I have only told you about 3 or 4 things that describe what I like to describe as my despair. I wanna try to ignore my unforgiving sadness for a second and focus on how to eliminate the worldly things in my life. I am affecting my mother horribly with my problems, and that doesnt really make anything better. It is turning out that my mental health is getting in the way of my education, physical health, family relationships and of course, my life. Its hard watching my mom begging me to eat a pill. I pointed to the bottle and told her "Drug induced optimism isnt going to help anything, rather make me wait till I become ultimately pessimistic till my death. That bottle over there is a bottle of structure, system, government, capitalism. Im not gonna be what the world wants me to be mom, and I dont want you to be that way either." Im hurting people, and until that stops I cant deal with my problems. My school is skeptical on wether or not I should stay, being concerned with my mental health. I really dont even want to think about it anymore, it hurts too much. Alot of these problems are leading to the end of the book, I think I should start a relationship with some girl, but the anxiety kills me, and I dont know if ill make her feel like a crutch or not like I did with my friends. Im quickly losing direction and im at a point where I refuse to believe im alive. I mean if this is life? Then whats death?
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California
A E S T H E T I C S A T A N


Registered: 12/27/04
Posts: 72,118
Loc: H A U N T E D H O U S E
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Re: I need mental help *DELETED* [Re: Jon]
#3718974 - 02/02/05 12:28 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Post deleted by OregonReason for deletion: Because i can.
Edited by concretefeet (02/03/05 01:58 AM)
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Jon
Registered: 06/28/03
Posts: 961
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I need mental help [Re: California]
#3719281 - 02/02/05 01:43 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Im really sick and tired of hearing shit like that. Its like telling a fucking dead cat to get up and walk. Life aint that simple, and such motivations dont simplify my life either. Your basically telling me to get over myself, you think I put myself through hell for my advantage? I want to stop hurting myself so I can stop hurting others. I think you should take what you just said and compare it to your own disatisfaction. Im not that fucking bimbo who thinks her life ended cus she broke up with her boyfriend, you wanna categorize me as one of those people go ahead, but I have no desire to generalize you into a group of prideful shitheads. You think your so god damn alive, then tell others how dead they are. Seriously.
Edited by Jon (02/02/05 01:47 PM)
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California
A E S T H E T I C S A T A N


Registered: 12/27/04
Posts: 72,118
Loc: H A U N T E D H O U S E
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Re: I need mental help *DELETED* [Re: Jon]
#3719892 - 02/02/05 03:51 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Post deleted by OregonReason for deletion: Deleted because there is a delete option.
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Jon
Registered: 06/28/03
Posts: 961
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I need mental help [Re: California]
#3720154 - 02/02/05 05:01 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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your not really getting the picture, you dont know me enough to tell me im selfish, it may seem that way on a forum but if thats how people react to SOS's with simple generalizations, ignoring the fact that im a living human being that does the most for everyone else as i possibly could give. It makes my specific problem to an answer of, "tough shit". If it makes you feel better to help people this way, then you can hang your heavy assumptions on your own nutsac.
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MyInsanityTrip
Stranger

Registered: 03/10/03
Posts: 2,218
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Re: I need mental help [Re: Jon]
#3731784 - 02/04/05 05:54 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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The truth is that nobody knows what "God" is. Or if there even is one. I'm almost positive it's not a "he".
IRREGARDLESS.
In the television show "sliders", there is an episode where the gang gets stuck on a planet in which an asteroid is poised to take out the Earth. Rembrandt Brown was totally sweating it and found himself in some church, talking to a black minister (priest?) something. Well, he was all like, I'm really sweating this and stuff black minister (priest?) whatever, and the black guy was telling him that we can only find peace or something through helping others.
Man, that makes so much sense.
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