Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   PhytoExtractum Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   North Spore Bulk Substrate

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. *DELETED*
    #3730876 - 02/04/05 02:29 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Post deleted by PsillyNilly

Reason for deletion: because


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3730965 - 02/04/05 02:41 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Well first, I know it's cliche, but calm down, you sound very agitated in your post (although with good reason), perhaps take some deep breaths or go on a short walk. Secondly, I know it's not what you want to hear, but the explanation your Mom and doc have offered does seem slightly more plausable. After all, the scrapbook has a lot of emotional significance to you, so much so that you rarely even look at it. That brings me to the second point. Since you rarely look at it, it is possible that you just imagined there were certain pictures there. Is there any indication that photos were once there but now are missing (like fade marks or tape/glue marks if they were attached)? Dealing with the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest bumps in the road of life, there's no doubt about that. But you don't need pictures to love her. You have your memories, and that's something no one can ever take from you. I don't know how recently she passed or how far along you are with your grieving, but I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words that can bring you comfort, the only person who can do that is yourself.

Perhaps you could set up a little memorial shelf or area of a room, with a cherished photo of her and some candles? My friend, everyone at the Shroomery is here for you, so please feel comfortable here.

Much love man. :heart:

EDIT: also, please feel free to PM me if you want to talk or anything off the public boards.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

Edited by dblaney18 (02/04/05 02:42 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: dblaney]
    #3731002 - 02/04/05 02:46 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

There are no fade marks thats the weired think...I can tell is was a professional job and I know we had pictures in there.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3731022 - 02/04/05 02:53 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

That is strange.

Although, the mind is a strange thing. In periods of stress it has been known to create things in order to serve some purpose. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case here, just a possibility.

Either way, what motive could anyone have for stealing pictures like those?

Even if someone did steal them, how do you think your fiance would have wanted you to react? Was she the kind of person who liked vengeance, or forgiveness?

:heart: :sun:


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinecanid
irregular meat sprocket
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 2 months, 18 days
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3731026 - 02/04/05 02:54 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

if your doc thinks you should self admit for observation, please take some time to consider it without considering work or the gathering at that time, consider it a medical decision, it is one that is above these other things. i am not avising you to go, but to give it consideration without finding excuses not to, then make your own decision; knowing that you have made ita fair one. you probably don't need it, and it is currently your choice. i just want you to be sure you are making it soundly [they wouldn't ask you to self admit if they didn't think you where capable of evaluating the need yourself].

do what you need to do ad whatever it is, make sure it leaves you with soemthing to do.
the shroomery is here for you.

peace, love,
concrete.


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: canid]
    #3731054 - 02/04/05 03:04 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Im not goin anywhere for now till I get things straingtend out. I gotta a house not even my friends know about let alone my family. Im staying here for now. Im gonna scan the book so just incase they take it frorom me Ill have some backup to state my case. This is some horse shit. Ill show you what Im talkin about once I get this scanner installed

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinecanid
irregular meat sprocket
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 2 months, 18 days
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3731100 - 02/04/05 03:16 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

who are you worried about taking your scrapbook?

you should need only to put it someplace safe and don't worry too much about it.


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: canid]
    #3731121 - 02/04/05 03:22 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

The same people who took the pictures out the first time!!! Its not totally blank as of yet...but dont want it to be so just incase somebody tries to pull a fast one on me agaion Ill have all my pictures on my Desktop

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinecanid
irregular meat sprocket
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 2 months, 18 days
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3731136 - 02/04/05 03:26 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

scan it if you want [it never hurts to have a backup of anything with sentimental value], but i bet the pics wheren't taken out rescently and i doubt there are ninjas in your aartment waiting to get at the rest of them.

do what ever you feel the need to, just don't get anymore worked up than you need, it's not good for you.


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: canid]
    #3731144 - 02/04/05 03:29 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

I know there is nobody here...Im not scared of anybody coming to this place especially not ninjas but eventually they might find me for Im not running on a multiple Proxy satelite connection from this computer....my old IP is gone but I still gotta make sure nobody finds out bout this house.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinecanid
irregular meat sprocket
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 2 months, 18 days
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3731163 - 02/04/05 03:32 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

ok. i'm just saying; i don't think anybody is trying that hard to find you or your sentimentals.


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinefreddurgan
Techgnostic
Male

Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3731584 - 02/04/05 04:54 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

PsillyNilly said:
I know there is nobody here...Im not scared of anybody coming to this place especially not ninjas but eventually they might find me for Im not running on a multiple Proxy satelite connection from this computer....my old IP is gone but I still gotta make sure nobody finds out bout this house.




Is that a joke? I hope so.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: freddurgan]
    #3736999 - 02/05/05 07:10 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
Quote:

PsillyNilly said:
I know there is nobody here...Im not scared of anybody coming to this place especially not ninjas but eventually they might find me for Im not running on a multiple Proxy satelite connection from this computer....my old IP is gone but I still gotta make sure nobody finds out bout this house.




Is that a joke? I hope so.




--------------------



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinebaraka
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/15/00
Posts: 10,768
Loc: hyperspace Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #3737722 - 02/05/05 09:34 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

I can only imagine what its like to lose someone so close to you. You seam distrought and a little cluttered in your posts, maybe they did not take your pics or they did but you should evaluate your situation the best you can. Pictures how others would look at your actions and do the best you can.

I can tell this book has very deep sentimental value to you, maybe you should scan the pics into a computer and leave them in the book or somthing. It sounds like others are worried about you. If you have no issues show the ones that are worrying about you that you are ok.


--------------------
This is the only time I really feel alive.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleTaskenti
MadPsycho

Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 2,102
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3737907 - 02/05/05 10:05 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Im not doubting you at all. But I just wanted to say that this sounds alot like a movie I just watched called The Forgotten....
(the missing pictures thing)


--------------------
CIVIC IS Mycoshack!! Be careful trading with him!!
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showthreaded.php/Cat/0/Number/5686915/page/0/vc/1

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: Taskenti]
    #3739050 - 02/06/05 01:22 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Is it a new movie?

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3739109 - 02/06/05 01:38 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

It sounds to me that this book has become an obsession because you feel that its the only "link" you have to your fiance.You have an unhealthy attachment to this book.Subconciously you are projecting your fiance onto this book.In a way,this book has become her in your mind subconciously.The book while a good reminder of her is just a book.You will always have fond memories of her that onlyyou shared with her.Special moments that no one else can ever take from you.You also shared a special bond with her...love.No one can ever take that love from you that you had for her.While you should never forget her you should put the book away... for now.Im sure she would want you to live your life again and be happy again.Im sure she wouldnt want you to be in a wretched state of mind.

Perhaps going to this institution or even just going to a psychologist may help you deal with your immense grief you are carrying.

And no one is going to take the book or otherwise do anything to it.Besides what would anyone else want it for?


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. *DELETED* [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3739152 - 02/06/05 01:54 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Post deleted by PsillyNilly

Reason for deletion: yep


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTeKn0
†hè
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/30/02
Posts: 801
Loc: ŵįţĥįń ? ?ŧąţĩ�...
Last seen: 5 months, 7 days
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3739200 - 02/06/05 02:12 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

I believe you man, I think it's weird that these guys don't...
Anyway,
I wouldn?t go to that know it all doctor for an assessment myself,
They will probably try to put you on meds or something.

But if you think you may be starting to lose it, getting the assessment may help, but if you are being forced into it, it may be counterproductive.

We all flip out sometimes we are only human, and we do have emotions, and we don't need to go to a psych everytime our emotions get the better of us.


--------------------
Listen, or your tongue will keep you deaf. :wink:
ŦēҜй? - ??ĜįĈ?? ҒűČҝĮńĜ ?đVǻŃčЄмЄńŦ

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineorichalc
Stranger

Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 71
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: TeKn0]
    #3739261 - 02/06/05 02:27 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

don't go to the shrink man. he doesn't know shit other than prescribe you with medications that won't work. i've been there in that department, but not in your severity of case (losing a loved one); and if you need to, just come here and ask us; we'll stand by you.

what i'd do if you haven't by now, is have a long and rational discussion with your mother...but i'm assuming that hasn't worked because you are here in the now.

anyways, i don't know what you're going through, so all i have to truly say is "good luck."

peace brother.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3739263 - 02/06/05 02:28 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Your startin to sound like the Docs now..This is where the pics start to go missing...we had one from Dinsey after that one pic and then they are supposed to continue with the DISNEY themed pages.... After that all the pages are Blank--Everything...Some of the Layouts are still there like the Beach stickers from the Bahamas and stuff but the pics are gone....Now if you see 4 pictures in there then fine Im crazy...but fromn these eyes I only see 3.




Perhaps they were taken...perhaps they fell out(I've had pictures come loose from photobooks and scrapbooks before)...(shrugs) But no matter what happened,it is just a book.A lovely book and a book that will keep your fiance firmly in your memory but the book must be put aside temporarily sooner or later and you will have to continue to live and move past this immense pain.I am sure your fiance would not want you to suffer like this and be in such pain.

I sound like the doctors because like them I am very intelligent and very rational.And also like them I know whats going on in your mind to a fair degree.

But let's be logical for a moment...1) Who would want steal the pictures? 2) And why would they want to steal them? 3) Why is this book so important to you? (I mean you will always have the memories of the special moments you shared and the love you two shared.Those experiences are far more important than a simple book.)


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: orichalc]
    #3739287 - 02/06/05 02:33 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

don't go to the shrink man. he doesn't know shit other than prescribe you with medications that won't work. i've been there in that department, but not in your severity of case (losing a loved one); and if you need to, just come here and ask us; we'll stand by you.

what i'd do if you haven't by now, is have a long and rational discussion with your mother...but i'm assuming that hasn't worked because you are here in the now.

anyways, i don't know what you're going through, so all i have to truly say is "good luck."





I wish people would stop saying not to see a doctor/shrink.This is a very serious matter and this man is obviously quite paranoid about people stealing photos and possibly may suffering paranoid delusions or worse.Right now he needs to be checked out to see if he needs professional help.Simply talking isnt going to fix this.Even if he isnt paranoid or delusional it is still going to take A LOT of therapy to work through the issues caused by the loss of his fiance.Any way you look at it,it requires a trained professional's help or at least a professional assessment.


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3739339 - 02/06/05 02:51 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

As long as Im here....Im not afraidn of anybody takin the pics. Im not goin on that Risperdal shit again and the reason why I think they might be after our stuff is because they were telling me to temporaly dissasociate myself with all the things in which remind me of her...kinda like your saying now to "put the book away". They want me to clean out the closets of all her clothes and take down our stuff we bought together. They are all crazy if you ask me. Im still scanning all of our photose but to state my case, I have a blowup picture of her in one of the books....I put it on the last page casue it didnt go with any of the themes inside kinda like an end page. Well, they didnt get to that one but everything inbetween is taken out.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3739371 - 02/06/05 03:00 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)


That is the last pic in the book....now why would there be one picture but no more inbetween?!?!? just templates/layouts. It doesnt matter now....whatever I have Im makin tons of copies on hidden disks and over my desktops. There is no way theyd be able to find every last one even if they tried. Im just pissed off bout the ones that are already missing.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineorichalc
Stranger

Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 71
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3739393 - 02/06/05 03:10 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

unenlightenedone. sorry if i sounded a bit rash; it's just that for me medications were not the answer. as soon as i got off of them, i relapsed into my condition. perhaps you're right in that he needs to talk to someone who is trained to talk in these certain cases; someone to help the man above realise that he has to accept what has happened and pass on.

psi, i know this is terrible and all, but what do you mean there would be more pictures inbetween?

anyways good luck to you.

Edited by orichalc (02/06/05 03:11 AM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3739416 - 02/06/05 03:17 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

They were saying those things because your obsession with this book and other things are making you ill and paranoid and ruining your life very quickly.

If people wanted the pictures that badly they'd just steal the whole book not large numbers of pictures inbetween.I mean even the dumbest criminals at least attempt to cover their tracks or make it at least less obvious.

I understand your fear that if the book and those things are gone that you will lose her forever.I also understand that it scares you that you might forget her but trust me you wont and everything will be just fine.Those things are not her and those things will not bring her back but the memories will always be there to remember her by.The special memories that only you two share.The items are just plain ordinary empty items.They really dont do anything but to serve as a reminder but I perhaps putting them away in your closet is best until you can handle your feelings,fears and pain you feel.Right now theyre keeping the wounds open and not letting them heal.Putting them away for now will allow you to work through the issues behind everything.All anyone wants is to make sure that you're ok and they only want what is in your best interest.No one wants to take anything away.


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: orichalc]
    #3739439 - 02/06/05 03:24 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

unenlightenedone. sorry if i sounded a bit rash; it's just that for me medications were not the answer. as soon as i got off of them, i relapsed into my condition. perhaps you're right in that he needs to talk to someone who is trained to talk in these certain cases; someone to help the man above realise that he has to accept what has happened and pass on.




Im not suggesting meds although for some people they are needed to put things behind them until they can deal with them.Meds only cover up what is there temporarily until you can slowly healand deal with the problems at a later time.Meds arent meant to be a miracle cure for mental disorders but rather a crutch to help one get around and try to get better until things heal a bit and one can deal wiuth the problems directly.But no matter what the problems are always waiting right around the corner.That is why we always have to face problems directly before they go away.

Perhaps he just needs a shoulder to cry on and get out the trapped feelings that are repressed.A psychologist may be able to root out the problems and aid in the healing process.Losing a loved one is never easy and sometimes we never really recover from it fully.But progress can always be made. :smile:


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3739675 - 02/06/05 04:53 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for the help unenglightenend...I would go to a psychaiatrist but I still have to do some research as far as the issue of tracking down medical records and stuff. I know my records are kept conifidential unless the authorties get a warrant. Im gonna make some phone calls tommarow to see if any psychologist/psychs will just take a few hundred bucks for a session rather than me having to fill out all those forms and giving my SS#, insurance, etc. I got a few calls on my cell ---from my friends today telling me that my mom and such were looking for me. I need to make sure I dont stay on the line for more than a few seconds just incase they have some type of tracking setup on the other end. Well, thanks again for the help

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBloodNOil
Captain Zeep
 User Gallery
Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 1,020
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3752576 - 02/08/05 07:36 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Who could "they" be? Anybody in particular?

What might be in your medical record that you are concerned about
people seeing?

I once saw a psychiatrist who would give me a receipt that i could mail
to my insurance company. i'm sure money is just the same to most
doctors.


--------------------
It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: BloodNOil]
    #3754172 - 02/09/05 12:21 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Im not sure who "they" are either but I know there not Im my side or they wouldnt of taken my pictures. My box of our memories (scrapbook, gifts, sentimental items etc...) is all I really got left. Iv'e been diagnoes with a lot of borderline stuff (like the bar graph is right under the line)...but docs throw around PTSD-MPD etc diagnoses all the time and I might as well be dead then all stiffed up and zombied out on risperidone and Lithium which alot of pill happy docs like to do. Im still trying to figure this out myself but atlest Im cool for now.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3756674 - 02/09/05 03:26 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

If you dont want to take pills be clear and firm about it that you dont want to take pills.If he doesnt listen find another doctor.Some are willing to just work things out without meds.Otherwise try to find a good counseler that you can relate to.They cant even prescribe meds so no worries there but they will help you figure out why you feel this way and get to the bottom of thiungs and to help you to become better and to be abel to deal with this situation better.

Talking to someone about problems always helps. :smile:


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3757830 - 02/09/05 06:07 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

A thought.

Going crazy does not feel like you would imagine. Rational people who go crazy do not lose their rationality, rather, they have certain unusual experiences or perceptions that they respond rationally to. Learning to live with a mental illness in large part involves realizing that certain feelings or perceptions are getting fucked up in your head, and causing you to act weird. So, if there are no pictures maybe there never were any. The reason you would need observation is that you are having the memory glitch.

To you, it feels like you are certain they were there and they aren't, so you freak out. To others, it looks like you made the shit up and are losing your shit.

You should consider going in for observation in case these perceptions continue. As a rational person, you can realize that sometimes your brain is going to feed you incorrect information.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlined33p
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
Loc: the shores of Tripoli
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: tomk]
    #3758122 - 02/09/05 07:12 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

tomk said:
A thought.

Going crazy does not feel like you would imagine. Rational people who go crazy do not lose their rationality, rather, they have certain unusual experiences or perceptions that they respond rationally to. Learning to live with a mental illness in large part involves realizing that certain feelings or perceptions are getting fucked up in your head, and causing you to act weird. So, if there are no pictures maybe there never were any. The reason you would need observation is that you are having the memory glitch.

To you, it feels like you are certain they were there and they aren't, so you freak out. To others, it looks like you made the shit up and are losing your shit.

You should consider going in for observation in case these perceptions continue. As a rational person, you can realize that sometimes your brain is going to feed you incorrect information.




This is exactly right. After i ODed on benadryl (70 pills) for a few weeks after i experienced delusions, confusion, and other bad stuff. At the time it seemed all perfectly normal and i did not question my behavior at all. Only in retrospect have i realized the insanity of some of my actions in those following weeks. If something is wrong it is quite unlikely you will be able to realize it, until it is to late. Here is one such example of my delusions that i was not aware of:

So a few days after i ODed, my eye feels weird. I thought, "Hey, its just my contact lens getting stuck. I better take it out and clean it." So for a few hours, there i am standing in front of a mirror trying to take this contact out my eye (The hours part may seem exaggerated but i assure you i was there for hours). So finally i come to the conclusion the contact must have just fallen out and my eye was just irritated. So then i check my other eye for the contact but after a while low and behold there is no contact in that eye. Funny, I thought, that both my contacts fell out and i didn't realize.

So a little bit of time passed and i forgot about it until an eye problem reminded about the situation(it happened for sure). And well here is the kicker, i have never ever in my entire life ever wore contacts or glasses. NEVER EVER. WTF, i thought, delusions are some crazy stuff.

So finally sorry for the rant in your thread but honestly and please don't take this wrong way based on your diction and syntax it seems to me like you may be cracking. It seems as though you have had some latent mental condition that appeared in the past but was repressed and since the death of your fiance it has been festering. This scrapbook(whether the picture were really stolen or not) seems to have been a breaking point and a culmination of things which have brought your condition to other people's attention.

Maybe im just completely wrong, after all its hard to judge just from this thread, but from what im seeing you may very well need help.


--------------------
I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: d33p]
    #3758424 - 02/09/05 08:16 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Another thing that may have happened is that the memory of the book comes from dreams. Sometimes I will have a dream featuring some object, and seeing the object will trigger the memory. Often this will happen like this. I see the object (say I watched the shoes sink into a lake in the dream) from my dream and think "That is weird I remember losing that shoe in the lake." I remember It took me a while not to be really freaked out by this.

This sounds exactly like what is happening to you man. You are dreaming about this book, obviously, and you remember it the way it is in your dream. But the dream seems so distant yet real that you aren't able to remember it was a dream and only have the memory of the image.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: tomk]
    #3758580 - 02/09/05 08:41 PM (19 years, 1 month ago)

If you went to all these places you remember, surely there would be things like credit card histories/airline histories documenting the travel.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePsillyNilly
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 831
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3760156 - 02/10/05 01:47 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

UnenlightenedOne said:
If you dont want to take pills be clear and firm about it that you dont want to take pills.




Its not that easy man, when you get checked in for assessment and "follow the program"...every morning they wake you up, you get called to the nurse station in your block and you HAVE to take your fucking pills (along with the generic Centrum) Being firm doesnt do shit. Psyhciatrists are not what Im worried about, they cant make me take anything but the last 5 week assessment clinic I went to was a licensed psych evaluation asylum and was no walk in the park. Hours of tests-treatment....no privacy whatsover. I dont know if you have ever been to a psych treatment facility but the block I was in was strictly for assessment, and if I picked up and left I would be considred leaving (AMA----against medical advice) which the state doesnt like....but thank god I played my cards right cause the other blocks consisted of a Lock Down facility for people institutionalized for years if not life. Well, just like the person said up there---I am totally fucntionable and not gonna leave my self open like that again which is probably another reason I am a little paranoid. It sucks being on the wrong side of the double pained mirror.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: PsillyNilly]
    #3761100 - 02/10/05 09:56 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Its not that easy man, when you get checked in for assessment and "follow the program"...every morning they wake you up, you get called to the nurse station in your block and you HAVE to take your fucking pills (along with the generic Centrum) Being firm doesnt do shit. Psyhciatrists are not what Im worried about, they cant make me take anything but the last 5 week assessment clinic I went to was a licensed psych evaluation asylum and was no walk in the park. Hours of tests-treatment....no privacy whatsover. I dont know if you have ever been to a psych treatment facility but the block I was in was strictly for assessment, and if I picked up and left I would be considred leaving (AMA----against medical advice) which the state doesnt like....but thank god I played my cards right cause the other blocks consisted of a Lock Down facility for people institutionalized for years if not life. Well, just like the person said up there---I am totally fucntionable and not gonna leave my self open like that again which is probably another reason I am a little paranoid. It sucks being on the wrong side of the double pained mirror.




Ive been in a mental facility many times.In fact I got kicked out of the one in my city.I know what its like being there but I also know legally you have the right to say no to taking meds in the US (That is to assume you are in the US.Right?).They cannot force you to take meds against your will.However you usually have to sign a form saying you refused to take your meds.

When I say to see a psychiatrist I mean outside of any facilities.I know here we have psychiatrists that you can just visit a few times a week in their office for counseling sessions and you have the option of taking meds if you want to but they dont even try to make you take them.Ive seen a psyciatrist for some time in my youth.( It was for a certain unpleasant event of my youth which I dont want to get into here but it left me in severe depression for MANY years.)

Ive suffered a wide range of disorders in my youth but now I have eliminated all but one.That one being merely panic disorder.However I have beaten OCD,Severe Depression,Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a short bout of Paranoia.What caused these things is the fact that I've had a very rough life with some horrible things that happened to me as well as the fact that my family is prone to mental disorders especially Panic Disorder and OCD.On top of that in my youth I used alcohol and high doses of drugs quite frequently.None of which helped.Currently I deal with the occasional mild panic attack but I can deal with it and it goes away shortly.I only have a couple per year now.

While counseling did help I feel that I have done much more for myself.

Its going to take a lot of tiem to heal from this but try to live normally and not let it interfere in your daily life.Its hard but its a big step toward feeling better.Try to take your mind off thigns even if only for a few minutes or hours.I imagine you're very tired/exhausted mentally.

The best person to help you is you.


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTwister
Lucrative
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 6,672
Loc: Midwest
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: I freaked out today...dont know whatto think anymore. [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3765321 - 02/11/05 02:21 AM (19 years, 1 month ago)

Like people have said before it sounds like you may actually have a problem. It may sound bad, but it appears this way from the information you have provided. While it is likely that someone may have taken your pictures, the fact that you live somewhere "they" cant know about seems extremely paranoid. Also, the fact that you say you dont know who "they" are specifically could be a sign of a very real mental problem.

From what you've described it resembles pretty closely what was portrayed in the movie "A Beautiful Mind" where the main character(his name escapes me at present) is schizopherenic. I dont know if you've seen it but its based on the story of a brilliant mathematician that slowly falls into schizopherenia. The simple fact that he knows he has a problem helps him cope with the condition and he is able to overcome the problem without drugs.

Now, i don't think that meds are necessarily the answer, but going to see a psych would probably be for the best.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   PhytoExtractum Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   North Spore Bulk Substrate


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Just freaked out on acid ---- identity crisis --- humm. leery11 2,405 12 01/23/06 03:06 PM
by leery11
* Nearing the edge of my perception
( 1 2 all )
daba 3,003 23 09/25/05 02:07 PM
by swiftrance
* Desperately need help :-( Freaked out a month after shrooms
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )
lucid 41,188 159 08/30/12 09:49 AM
by Sherwin Maxawow
* i cant stand this life anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZippoZM 2,523 16 10/02/03 01:24 AM
by flatline
* skewed perception? vampirism 1,179 2 11/24/03 01:25 PM
by sykobish
* I cant get high anymore
( 1 2 all )
filthysock 5,270 33 06/07/08 04:00 AM
by ManianFH
* I cant take it anymore. Its driving me Insane. (please read and help)
( 1 2 3 all )
Devil666777 7,168 47 11/11/08 11:10 AM
by memes
* changes in visual perception after mushrooms parrabola 2,751 16 02/04/05 05:06 PM
by Society

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
2,512 topic views. 0 members, 1 guests and 8 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.034 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 15 queries.