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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Two Sides
#3724034 - 02/03/05 09:31 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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He moved briskly through the cluttered hallways, his armor making a sharp clink-clink noise with each step. His sword flashed in the torchlight, gleaming a deep red with the blood that coated it. Bodies lay strewn about the passage, though he did not dare look down at the faces. He knew what he would find, if he did. The faces of those he loved. His family. His friends. All dead, now, at the hands of this other man.
'Why! Why has he done this? What have I done to deserve this?' he thought bitterly.
It had started six days ago, with fighting in the streets of the capital city. The army broke into two, that first day, with the half still loyal to the Emperor taking up station around the palace. The other half, vile mutineers, seemed content at first to simply cause unrest in the streets. The People had seemed divided, though no citizens took up arms. Then, on the fourth night, the revolt began in ernest. The people were still divided, and so began to fight each other in the streets. A city which had never had its walls breached, had never seen battle, now degenerated into bloodshed and genocide...and he was powerless to stop it. Throughout it all, whispers of a man came to him. A tall man, with a crooked grin, who spoke to the crowds and was listened to. A man who, until the revolt began, no one had ever heard of.
The sound of battle could still be heard dimly through the thick stone walls, so he knew at least some of his honour guard were still alive in the ante-chamber. Down here, in the labyrinthine tunnels that made up the palace basement, all was quiet. He slowed his pace slightly and tried to quiet his clinking armor. Ahead lay the Mausoleum, a large circular room with portals for sunlight around the top. As he reached the door his eyes fell upon a single body, laying in a heap in the center of the room.
'My wife...!'
His mind reeled in horror. Her dress, usually a bright blue, had turned a dark violet with the blood that now soaked it. A few small white flowers lay on the floor around her head, where they had fallen from her golden hair. A column of light from one of the portals above shone down on her body, sparkling on the tiny gems wired into her dress and hair. Her face, somehow clean of any blood, looked mockingly at him...a small smile still apparent on her red lips. Her eyes, unclosed, still seemed to sparkle the way they always had.
"MY WIFE!" he screamed, as he fell to his knees. He felt his cheeks moisten, and lowered his head enough for his crown to fall and roll away on the floor.
A noise alerted him to an approach from behind. A simple 'tap, tap' of sword on armor was enough to tell him who it was. He rose slowly, deliberately, and turned to face the man. The man who had destroyed everything that he had known and loved. The man who would bring down an Empire. The man was tall, much taller than most men, though far slimmer than most soldiers. The man wore a crooked smile on his face, a simple yet effective way of saying 'hey...I'm enjoying this.' He raised his sword in the traditional manner, and was pleased to see the man do the same.
"This ends here, now." the man said. His voice was raspy, as if he had been shouting for hours. The raspiness only seemed to fuel the fire of anger that burned inside him. He all but snarled at the man, turning his mouth upwards into a grim sneer. "Yes. We end this, now." he said to the man. He lowered his sword slightly and rushed forward, while the other man did the same. Their swords met, showering sparks, and...
...
He rushed through the palace hallways, lost once again in the maze of intersecting corridors. So far, his luck had run true: he was still alive. The concept amazed him, that he was able to penetrate so deeply into a fortress which had never been breached. He had come only to kill one man, but already his sword had seen more flesh than any single battle he had ever found himself involved in. It was as if the gods themselves were with him, guiding his hands and feet to where he needed to be. Each time he thought himself hopelessly lost, he would turn a corner to find a room full of people...all richly dressed, and all quite defenseless. Lambs to the slaughter. 'They all deserved it, though.' he thought to himself.
The common people had suffered for far too long at the hands of an oppressive Emperor and his entourage. The Emperor and his family lived with ease in a state of perpetual wealth...but at the direct expense of the people of the land. The Emperor had watched, from his gilded throne, as entire villages starved to death. The Emperor had watched his own people die and had done nothing to stop any of it. For that, the Emperor now deserved death.
He assumed he was deep into the palace, by now, as the halls were lined with torches instead of portals above for natural light. Sounds of battle occasionally made themselves heard through the thick stone walls. He turned down a side passage and immediately cursed under his breath. He had already been down this hallway, as evidenced by the bodies strewn about the floor. Something made him keep moving, though he could not understand why.
'The gods must truly be watching me.' he thought.
He passed another doorway and stopped dead, turning to look into a large circular room with light streaming in from portals above. He also recognized this room. He had been in it before. When he last left the room, no one was alive inside it...yet now he noticed a single man, in armor, kneeling in the middle of the room. A second glance at the ornately painted armor revealed who the man was.
'The Emperor...' he thought silently.
He had never seen the man before, but the description he had been dead on. The Emperor looked like...a normal man. A normal man, with jet black hair and the build of a soldier. No doubt a man not to be trifled with, yet also the very man he had come to kill. He stood silently in the doorway for a few moments, waiting for the Emperor to stand and turn...but he never did. The Emperor seemed consumed by the body that lay before him. He took a few quiet steps into the large room and stopped again, waiting. After an eternity, only seconds in truth, the Emperor was still unaware of his approach.
'I could end it all, right here and right now.' he thought. 'A quick stab to the base of the neck...and it would all be over.'
Yet he found himself glued in place, unable to attack a man from behind. Even a man responsible for as much pain and suffering as the Emperor. Instead, he gently tapped his sword against his leg armor. The Emperor's head shot up and cocked slightly to the side, as if listening, then he stood slowly and turned.
"This ends here, now." he said. His own voice seemed to echo and boom in the large chamber, giving his words more weight than he intended. That suited him nicely, and so he smiled crookedly at the Emperor. The Emperor's mouth turned up in a sneer as he said "Yes. We end this, now." The Emperor lowered his sword and rushed towards him, so he did the same. Their swords met, showering sparks, and...
...
Outside, a battle raged on.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides [Re: trendal]
#3724054 - 02/03/05 09:39 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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exaclty WHAT is your point?
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy
Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Oooo! See, now I am one of those people that gets all excited and skips to the end to find out what happens.
In this case, there really isn't an ending, so I'm forced to go back to where I left off and read the whole thing. No instant gratification for me today.
So I just watched Troy a few days ago and I really enjoyed it, so as I was reading this story I had mental images of Achilles and Hector fighting. Each of them right, neither of them wrong.
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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I wasn't aware I needed a point
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides [Re: trendal]
#3728891 - 02/04/05 02:19 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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of course you need a point, otherwise what was the point in your post, i mean some people just post to give info or atleast provide humour, yours i guess you were trying to point something out but you failed dismally, well you didnt fail, was just a bit long winded
see why couldnt you just be to the point like cherrybomb?
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Is this not the Music, Art and Literature forum?
Am I not supposed to post stories, poems, or art that I happen to create? Does art have a point?
If I start posting essays, you can be sure there will be a "point" to my posts.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy
Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Two Sides [Re: trendal]
#3729257 - 02/04/05 07:28 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's entertainment. Sheesh.
I liked it.
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: CherryBom]
#3729305 - 02/04/05 07:49 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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of course art has a point you silly boy, the point it makes depends on what art you are talking about and who is viewing it or what they portray a peice to say.
You just said that if you post essays that you surely would have a point. From the amount of text of your post id most certainly say it was essay form. I understand the point of your essay, that there are two sides or two ways of looking at things, hence i guess the title of your post being "two sides". I am merely saying it was long winded.
now please be calm
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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No no, silly boy. That is most definitely not an essay. It certainly doesn't appear in MLA or APA format, nor does it have a basic premise which it then attemps to prove. It is a peice of creative writing - a short story - which came out of this little head of mine. Nothing more.
You may take it as you wish
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,394
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 months, 4 days
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Yeah, it's obviously not an essay, it's a piece of art.
Art does not have to have a point, at least not a point that is blatantly obvious.
If the lack of an obvious point bothers you, perhaps MA&L isn't the forum for you.
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson http://phluck.is-after.us
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,394
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 months, 4 days
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: Phluck]
#3729346 - 02/04/05 08:04 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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PS, good story Trendal, I enjoyed it.
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson http://phluck.is-after.us
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: trendal]
#3729393 - 02/04/05 08:25 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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whether a short story can also be interpreted as an essay is a matter of view. some say 1000 words is sufficient for an essay but as i said its a matter of view. and yes i have taken it as i wish. but hey lets not waffle and stray of our original discussion here which was your inability to get to your "point" quicker.
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: Phluck]
#3729397 - 02/04/05 08:26 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks phluck
Not like I have anything better to do while at work than write stories
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: Phluck]
#3729403 - 02/04/05 08:27 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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not the blatant lack of obvious point, the fact that it took so long to get it out
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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So you would call a novel an essay?
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,394
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 months, 4 days
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I think your inability to properly explain an essay, and your dashing ability to be a complete dick without the benefit of being funny kinda negates everything you say.
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson http://phluck.is-after.us
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: Phluck]
#3729503 - 02/04/05 09:04 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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oooh, intelligence just ooze's out at your ability to be insulting towards someone,
how smart, let me guess, you must be american
but nonetheless you have provided me with humour by showing that i seem to have got to you without trying, lol
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adrug
Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Double post...
how smart, let me guess, you must be foreign
How about you write us an essay on this thread?
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JacquesSauniere
mr
Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 180
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Two Sides re Trendal [Re: adrug]
#3729624 - 02/04/05 09:43 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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NO FLAMING!!
you can expect a ban next time you flame in this forum, respect your fellow shroomeryites please
Edited by stefan (02/04/05 10:25 AM)
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy
Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Ooooo. You're not very pleasant, are you?
I posted in this thread, too...why don't you take a jab at me?
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