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BorgFace
PEENTASTIC
Registered: 11/30/04
Posts: 515
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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DMT
#3714247 - 02/01/05 04:30 PM (19 years, 18 days ago) |
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Hi, I just want to relate a small problem I've been having. I went through a DMT phase about two months ago and was shown and taught many wonderous things. Everytime I smoked it I was slightly apprehensive, but this didn't extend beyond anxious anticipation. Then I stopped during the Christmas break/summer break and haven't been back since. I would like to, and I have tried to drum up the courage on a number of ocassions but lately I get this crippling sensation in my chest that feels like a surge of adrenalin from being scared. I can't seem to get beyond this feeling, and I can't think of anything to account for it.
I recently started taking 50mg of 5-HTP everyday as well as 440 mg of valerian. Could this be it, or is it purely my entrenched ego trying desperately to maintain control?
Thanks.
Borg.
-------------------- Give me an ounce of civet, good apothecary, to sweeten my imagination!
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World Spirit
PNW



Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 9,817
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I may be able to relate to you in respect to other matters so allow me to try and pose a theory here:
1. All of us are physical and more-than-physical 2. The body experiences things and that which is not physical in us also experiences things. 3. There is a voice within us. 4. This voice can say "Yeah" or "Nay" depending on the circumstance. 5. If we hear we ought to obey. 6. If this is your experience I hope my words bring guidance to your life.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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somewhere on the grateful dead website are dialogs between Terence McKenna & Robert Hunter which you may find useful as you're deciding to go back to the DMT trip. ~ i understand enter's advice, but concerning dmt i just disagree. perhaps if your "more than physical" experience had directly informed you that you're to stop using the entheogen, then i'd say no. but this is more along the lines of apprehension towards sky diving, sometimes fear is part of the equation and you just have to bite the bullet and jump. despite nike's sweat shops, i'd say the attitude "just do it" is quite fitting. i know the fear smoking DMT all too well, perhaps if you haven't tried ayahuasca, you could try brewing the tea --- it would be a fresh start with the entheogen. although you may find, it will take even more courage to return to good luck, bro.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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phalloidin

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 865
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I know exactly what you mean. I've had the most amazing experiences with DMT but have the hardest time doing it anymore. The anxiety is just to much. I really have to force myself to do it now. Just thinking about smoking that stuff makes my heart race, yet none of my experiences on it were bad. The come on is certainly overwhelming, but once the trip settles in, its been all good. I really want to breakthrough again, but I think I need to prepare myself more. I think you really have to earn the experience.
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BorgFace
PEENTASTIC
Registered: 11/30/04
Posts: 515
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Thanks for all the responses! 
You've given me quite a bit to think about.
-------------------- Give me an ounce of civet, good apothecary, to sweeten my imagination!
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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It sounds to me almost like a realisation of anxiety.
Anxiety is bloody strange thing, because its mental and the more one attempts to stop it the more it will increase. The only method known is direct and frequent exposure to whatever causes the anxiety.
I have many friends that had solid ego's until they did mushrooms. I had anxiety at a young age so was better prepared to deal with it I feel but for my friends it was like opening a whole new doorway.
I know you are only having this feeling towards DMT but I suggest laying off the drugs for a while as they may well increase the problem.
Hope you get better!
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canid
irregular meat sprocket



Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
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i always get apprehensive about putting my self in one of those spaces. if i am that anxious about it, i know it is not time to go there.
trust your self, i twon't steer you wrong [it has a vested interest ].
--------------------
Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it. If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.
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