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My fiancee just left. He's on his way to Afghanistan and I feel so terrible.
His family loves him so much, I've never really seen anything like it before. Sometimes it really gets to me, and I can't figure out why because he is so lucky.
His mom has been calling here in tears for like 3 or 4 days "Oh, my boy is so big and grown up and I'm so worried..." and inside my head I'm like..."That right. He's all grown up, why don't you let him be a grown up?
And every time the phone rings I dread answering it because she's being SO rediculously dramatic about it. She really is a sweet woman and she does mean the best, but I just want to tell her suck it up.
When the advance party left last week, she saw it on the news and called here having a panic attack that he'd left without calling her. He thinks it bothers me because I am jealous...but I don't think it's that simple.
I just want him to be a strong, independant person away from his family. I don't want to take him away from his family, I just want him to be my fiancee and not his mothers little baby boy.
I love my family too, but in a completely different way. I do my own thing, I call my parents every couple of weeks, I solve my own problems on my own accord. I see no need to inform them of my payrate, my financial issues, the majority of my personal issues.
I just feel really terrible about it, because he's lucky enough to have them and such a solid support network, but while his mom took the day off work to watch the news in case she catches a glimpse of him, I had to go drop him off at the hangar and come home home to a big empty apartment....and the dishes from the supper that I made on our last night together that we didn't even eat because he was consoling her for 2 hours.
But she says I can call her anytime...night or day, for a chat or a hug or whatever. I feel a little bit left out of this reationship. Why can't I get over this?