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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
a story of mine, do any of you think its any good?
    #3703785 - 01/30/05 08:56 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)





but i really love writing and have been thinking about getting into it, i would love to one day put out a book but what i want to konw is do any of you think that this is good?

CHapter 1

January 15th 2001
It was cold as hell as it had been for a while, the snow on the ground sparkling when the light hit it in the right direction, looking like fields of cr;ystals coating the ground as if I was inside of some sort of fairy talea dream within a dream. As of lately life had been in a lul I hadn?t smoked any weed for almost a week now or was it longer, the days were all blending together once again and I couldn?t really remember what happened when. Riding into shitty joliet with bb gun pistols to get our last scak was still fresh in my mind could it have been over a week ago. I drive past the bowling alley and see my friends car pulled over and getting searched by 2 cops he has his hands spread on the trunk. Another one bites the dust.
Im just aimlessly driving now playing events over and over in my head, listening to the same mix tape over and over again, journey to the end of east bay by rancid ends and I rewind the tape and play it again for the 100th time today as I played over in my head the things that had happened in the last week. The picture of an entire street set on fire for no other reason than to alleviate boredoom. Thinking about how I was oblivious to the fact that the gas almost blew up my car as it spread over the pavement underneath the gas tank of my truck. I was on top of the world nothing could stop me but then again who is going to knock you off of a hill that you have deluded yourself into think ing that you were on top of?
. More and more problems kept surfacing as of lately and I couldn?t really stand it anymore. Day in and day out I didn?t realy want to deal with any of the shit that seemed to be the fabric that held my personal reality together. It was about 2 am now am a few hours late to get home? with nothing on the horison to do reluctantly I headed home sobering up from the otc atshma medicatino that was keeping me awake.
Someing home, the end of what would have been a good day. For some people coming home is a refuge a caste of solitude somewhere where you could finally rest your head in peace and silence, or so I hear. I havent yet been lucky to experience anything of the sort.

School as usual was hell, going the same as usual down hill. To the best of my knowledge I may or may not have failed 3 classes, which would cause my immediate expulsion from my wonderful catholic high school. It was odd that I hadn?t heard anything about it from my family or my school. Surely they let you know about these things before youre report card arrives in the mail. How could one miss such an opportunity to rub my so called failures in my face? Actually, well I was just waiting for the axe to fall, thankful that it hadn?t happened yet, maybee the school would let me back in, maybee I didn?t fail anything at all, surviving on the edge yet again?. Iwas on probation with the school lfor having my shirt untucked to many times and therefore breaking the solem dress code. Ohw absurd being suspended and given detentions for having ones shirt not tucked in. what a wonderful catholic school. What ever happened to the tolerance and accepting people regardless that was preached so often in the bible?. Why did one have to dress and act a certain way because they were forced to go to such and such school? Ridiculous it was all ridiculous. I hated it all and wanted to run away from it, become something else, someone else,. Oh I had plans great plans which I never made happen. They just sat in the back of my head waiting to be fulfilled secretly knowing that thye would never see the light of day.
My whole world was somewhat of a joke I constantly refered to the entire thing as an act. A joke a fa?ade layed over the disturbing reality. To make it seem represent able, maybee that?s why I liked doing all fo those plays, acting being so natural, an act on an act on an act. It seemed like all of my relationships were going the way of the plays as well. Acts. Somthing I had to deal with constantly without a break, something, that like the rest of the woven quilt of life, wasn?t too pretty. I couldn?t hold them together, my friendships justl like every thing else was crumbling before my eyes. What does one do when the entirety of life has reduced itself to pieces of rubble laying at your feet? Well the answwer was obvious, don?t look down. Believe the act that you were playing or face the cold hard reality. Little did I know that cold hard reality was about to give me a very rude awwkening me from my slumber.
I finally made it home around 2 or so, oddly my father was waiting up for me. Usually he just bothered me about being late the next day. But without a fuss he just went off to bed after seeing that I was home. I resided to the couch for the night, my room was too much of a mess, and dosed off. 2 hours later I awoke in a daze. I vaguely member seeing both my mother and father on top of the stairs about to leave the house, saying something. Why my mother would be there was ridiculous, she didn?t live there they were divorced, I tried to go back to sleep only to be shooken by one large black man and a short fat Texan who I have never seen before, and will never see again after this morning.
They tell me to get up and get dressed that I have to go to texas, and there was no way in hell that i was going to go without a fight, a year or so later i found out that after me the black guy ollie quit his job because if our expierence, and that i was the most difficult kid he ever had to deal with. the next 2 hours were brutal




next little chapter




so there i was sitting on the couch being hassled by these dudes... why i don't know.. it didn't make any sense, i had eaten some ephedra earlier in the day and thought that maybe i was having some sort of hallucination, be because surely there would be no way in hell that there would be 2 people in MY house giving ME orders. i mean shit I'm just 17, so i go back to sleep and get woken up and go back to sleep as if were playing this Little game. Did they actually expect me to go with them? to get up out of my house, and go to Texas?

as i was sitting there in my early morning daze they were trying to explain the logistics of this insanity to me. They were telling me that i had to go to Texas because my father and mother, divorced and never agreeing on anything, were concerned for me and wanted me to go get help. well shit i didn't need any help. Not me and i wasn't going with these fucking people.
Half an hour goes by of us playing this little game and they start applying some force to get me out of bed and dressed, these fuckers were getting serious. so i figured id just go to the kitchen and get a knife and stab the motherfuckers and that would be the end of it, real simple. but no they were ahead of me on that one, i tried to slip in to the kitchen to get some juice they wouldn't let me, i was being herded like a fucking cattle in my House. they wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom.
this was turning into a battle of wits and wasn't going anywhere, in the end those with the physical strength would end up winning this little struggle and i would be at their mercy. and that was how it was going to be . Me trapped with 2 men who i don't know going to a place i didn't know, on the thing i fear most, an airplane, god i hated flying, i was powerless. i told them that i gave up and that i would go with them if they let me go to the bathroom which they agreed to.

now anyone that actually knew me would have known what was going to come next, but since no one present or otherwise actually did know how the inner workings of my mind worked it gave me one opportunity. walking down the hall to the bathroom i broke into a sprint, broke through the door to my fathers room and dove over the bed, i grabbed the air rifle and started to turn it around on these mother fuckers, it didn't matter that it wasn't loaded or not a real gun, that was my secret. Just as i was almost free, as i started to turn the gun around i was tackled by the big black man, Ollie, and there was a struggle going on which in the end, he won. and the gun was out of my hands. My one card that i had to play was played and i lost the hand. again at Ollie's mercy and now he wasn't letting go of me at all.


Nooo who were these people what was going on, where were my parents how was this happening, this had to be a dream wake up! wake up damnit., fuck this isn't a dream what the hell am i going to do what is going on where the hell is that damn gun, di have myy keyes what am i going to do? this cant be happeneing what the hell who are these epeople. thesee thioughts just ran through my head going thousands of miles per hour as i frantically began to freak the fuck out.
But in my insanity and panic i had one more thing i could try, it might have killed me but i was starting to think that if i went with these people i would be dead anyways, it was worth it, i was in front of a second story window, my car feet away on the pavement below and as luck would have it i had my keys in my pocket. 20 feet to salvation, 10 of them straight down, i could make it. i started faking an asthma attack and told them i needed fresh air, to the window i went yes, damnit the screen was still in it. how could this be? Ollie started getting the gist of what i was thinking and held me tighter "its a long way down there, you don't want to do that, you re going to get hurt if you try that" there was no breaking away from his grip and i knew that today wasn't my day to learn how to fly. I let them guide me down the stairs out to their car to go to the airport, i had almost given up and then i saw a ray of light.

as i was about to get into the car i knew that they should have the doors rigged. there wouldn't be any way out of them. but i was 2 steps ahead of them. As they guided me into the back seat of the car i suddenly threw my arms up and started yelling. it worked they were distracted enough not to notice me un-locking the child safety switch that would have kept me captive in the car. i once again had a card up my sleeve and a glimmer of hope of escaping these people and whatever their plans were for me. i would not disappear silently into the night.












this is a very fucked up story,the most fucked up part is that it is true this shit actually happened to me and went on for 10 months of hell.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


Edited by zippoz (01/31/05 04:55 AM)


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OfflineLooksLikeRain
Hood

Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 266
Loc: NE
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3703890 - 01/30/05 09:17 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Awsome so far man Keep it going.

:thumbup: :thumbup:


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: LooksLikeRain]
    #3703973 - 01/30/05 09:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

im actually thinking about going down to mexico and finishing this entire thing in the town where it all hapened.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 2 months, 20 hours
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3704689 - 01/30/05 11:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

That was a good read... I wanna know what happens next.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: Phluck]
    #3704949 - 01/31/05 12:47 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

thanks for the responses :smile:


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Invisiblejux
I'm better thanan STD!

Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 924
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3705155 - 01/31/05 01:25 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

wtf?? who were those people?


--------------------


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Offlinefalseliberty
Prophet
Registered: 01/21/05
Posts: 30
Loc: Not The U.S.
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: jux]
    #3706681 - 01/31/05 08:10 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

looking forward to next post


--------------------
"You better hope we've got some Thorazine in this bag or your in some big f*cking trouble." Hunter S. Thompson


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OfflinePeyoteZen
Russian Agent
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Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 17,310
Loc: White House
Last seen: 15 hours, 1 minute
Re: a story of mine, do any of you think its any good? [Re: jux]
    #3707849 - 01/31/05 04:23 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

jux said:
wtf?? who were those people?




Hired goons. Military/drug rehab school or something.


--------------------
ISLAMIC MIGRANT CRIME WAVE COMING TO A GRANNSKAP NEAR YOU!


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