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Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 334
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
a letter to my grandmother
    #3657016 - 01/21/05 03:13 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i agree with you about how we make judgements from past experiences and observations. i think thats what makes us who we are. over tha past few years ive been trying to sort of undo those judgments and habits of mind that make us so closed off to god, life, the universe, or whatever this might be to you. ive come to belive that if we are able to seize and let go of thoughts about ourselves, others, and just life in general we are more open to divine awareness. thought seems to only be useful if it is used for practical purposes. reflecting on life always brings me to the conclusion that id probably be better off just being.

after these "realizations" about life really took hold with me, life turned into this serene and loving thing with no limits. i felt like i was on top of the world, and that nothing could hurt me. when this "high" wore off i was still left with this sence that i was on a sort of path that would eventually lead me to some sort of divine awareness, i would no longer be me, matt, but i would be everything and nothing at the same time.

i truely belive that humans are counciously connected to god, and that it is very possible to truely become god(our true selves), which to me is everything. i see god as somethin that is beyond words, beyond this physical plane, and yet it is all of that and more. i believe that we are too caught up in our self created realities, where we think we are our body and our mind, and that the only way to stop this is to observe and let go of impractical thought, be it a "rightcious" judgment or not, it is still a judgment. i choose not to put down people because they steal, or they murder, or they just arent nice, becuase i think that i would probably be the same if i was in their shoes. if i had been born into their body. i think peopel spend so much time looking at diversity that they often times can not see how we are all so much alike.

its so hard to just let go, i can rarely do it for any length of time at all, but it is always there for me, and i havent been able to give up on it becuase of this deep sence that tells me it is the right way. one day i hope to live on my own away from all human contact for some time. my stray thoughts are always involved with other humans and i think that if i could get away from them all for some time amazing things will happen. someday itll happen!

what do you think about time? time is a tough think for me. the past and future are logically non exsistent, all we have is the now, but our minds seem to make it real enough to have a dramatic impact on everything we think, feel, and do. its a weird thing. i guess its just the animal side of us all. self preservation, gone to the mental side of things.

i dont know how much of this is udnerstandable. it's hard to put all of this into words for me, but its nice to get it out.

i wrote this to her after she wote an email to me and everyone else in her address book about her thoughts on life.

thought you guys might be interested in some of these observations and thoughts.

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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