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Invisibledorkus
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Registered: 04/12/04
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the breaking apart of reality.
    #3630747 - 01/15/05 01:20 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

a method used by many mystics seems to be breaking up all pre-programmed notions of reality. A literal brainwash. I have been reading Gurdjieff, Robert Wilson and the likes for a while.

What do you guys think of this method? Tripping surely benefits the brainwash. My brain ended up like a newborn a little while back. I lost my ability to distinguish (sp) fairytale from reality. All of reality seemed totally surrealistic. Nothing made sense at all. I inhabited Uncommon Sense, but isn't this what psychosis is all about?

The ability to judge whether or not a thought popping up was probable or too far out was totally shut down. It is coming back, but do I want it? Should I aim for a sort of controlled psychosis and stop believing in all thoughts. Is this what people talk about when they recommend to 'know nothing' or is it too extreme? This path just doesn't seem right. Is it the way of Crowley and his likes? The magick way.

I remember a time when I thought myself to be the only living creature in existence. All of you guys just reflected different aspects of myself. The Shroomery?, i thought. There could not be such a thing in the real world. Just listen to the surrealistic name itself; shroomery. It all sounds like a bad cartoon. If I was thinking of metaphysical questions, or spiritual, there would always pop up a topic a couple of days after. This happened too often and too specific. It fucking freaked me out.

When it came to politics, this felt even dumber. Nobody would elect a monkey like Bush in a real world. It had to be fairytale. And Arnold, wtf!? It must be a bad joke. It is all in my mind.

Then I started applying this to my life. All psyched I viewed all the people at my working place as jokers. All conversations had multiple meanings, which led me to utter meaningless phrases in the ears of people. If I asked a question in my mind, the first sentence in conversations I overheard always seemed to brutally answer my questions. I span out of control and was taken to see the doctor by my brother.

If one is to break the reality and common sense of probabilty down, how is one to know what is real and what is fantasy? Should one view all as fantasy, all as real or should one look for an objective reality?


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OfflineGomp
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3630998 - 01/15/05 02:08 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

when you say, this world was made entirely for me.

and when i say it, it stands forth, as the same.
I am an reflection of you, and you are a reflection of me.

alone you are, together whit me, we all are individually, I.

you are the one and only of existence, you are a world of me.

this was created and is just me.
this is all mine, as One Indeed.

:confused:


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Disclaimer!?


Edited by Gomp (01/15/05 02:10 PM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3631040 - 01/15/05 02:19 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I think meditation is a much better and safer practice for you than using mushrooms. Psychosis is not a desirable mental state.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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Offlineskystone
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: Gomp]
    #3631059 - 01/15/05 02:23 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Gomp said:
when you say, this world was made entirely for me.

and when i say it, it stands forth, as the same.
I am an reflection of you, and you are a reflection of me.

alone you are, together whit me, we all are individually, I.

you are the one and only of existence, you are a world of me.

this was created and is just me.
this is all mine, as One Indeed.

:confused:




yea, but, Master, moving stones around is one thing, this is..Totally different..  :grin:


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"..and suddenly it began to rain"


Edited by skystone (01/15/05 02:33 PM)


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Offlineskystone
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3631072 - 01/15/05 02:27 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

now seriously..

I think you should see it as a fantasy but be carefull because
it's a fantasy with "safety protocols off"

But essentially it is a fantasy, your fantasy. I believe in objective stimuli but what you make of them in your mind is your own fantasy.


--------------------
"..and suddenly it began to rain"


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: skystone]
    #3631147 - 01/15/05 02:55 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

it it is fantasy it is one with teeth.
this time I go with swami
Quote:

Swami said:
I think meditation is a much better and safer practice for you than using mushrooms. Psychosis is not a desirable mental state.




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InvisiblePaou
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3631161 - 01/15/05 03:01 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

dr_mandelbrot said:
When it came to politics, this felt even dumber. Nobody would elect a monkey like Bush in a real world. It had to be fairytale. And Arnold, wtf!? It must be a bad joke. It is all in my mind.



As a Californian, I'd like to say that you'd have to understand what Gray Davis was like to understand why Arnold was the better choice.


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OfflineInnerBeing
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3631165 - 01/15/05 03:03 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

There is no spiritual benefit to be gained by being psychotic. You will forget everything that happened once you came back to your senses. Instead, aim for clear states of mind, these meditations can have far more substance than any drug induced psychosis.
I think more importantly, it is best not to worry about reality, real worlds, and exsistence. These are all meaningless questions, they are rhetorical questions that will cause to think yourself to insanity. Just slow down and stop thinking too much, this will get you no where.
Relax for a few weeks. There is no big rush to get to enlightenment. Afterall you can always pickup where you left off in the next life.
The human mind can only take so much before it begins to crack. Take care of yours so we can continue these conversations in the future.


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Kiss the ring Bitch!



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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3631178 - 01/15/05 03:06 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Be careful, tripping can serverly affect your version of reality :smile:

But being in state of unknowing and losing your awarness in a state of psycosis is certainly not beneficial. This kind of dissaccitaion is not healthy and can most certainly lead to a server case of psycosis requiring medication.

This state is too extreme, and can never provide the right circumstance neccasery for realization or spiritual experiences to occur. Leets say enlightenment is a seed, that requires soil, water, and all the right conditions for it to grow and bear fruit

What mental obliteration is like is washing away the soil! How can this help the plant to grow? What is ment by the disoloution of concpets is that one is being aware of all thoughts, concepts and mental events, then turning that concentration inwards one completely disolves them into the pure awareness. Its not as if one has blacked out, its just that one is living in the awareness prior to the thoughts!

Maybe im being a little philisophical here? But truley observing what you have wrote this does seem like to be the start of some mental illness. I know ive been in that state where you read to much into things, and are constanlty wondering about whether your reality is real or not. I fear that you may be riding on the razors edge my friend, and should probably seek some help before this gets worse.

Im sorry if i seem to be judging you in any way, this isnt my intention. I used to be in the same state as you and know how that is. In the end, a conventional view of reality is better than losing control of your mind completely. Try to percieve the convention view of reality as the soil which is needed to nutrue the seed of complete sanity (enlightenment).


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OfflineInnerBeing
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3631188 - 01/15/05 03:08 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

By the way,
This is not something I would normally share but I went psychotic for a couple of months, and I figured out the meaning of life and had answers to all the questions that you are asking. After I was calmed down through therapy, hospitalizaitions, and medications, I cannot remember a single thing that I said or thought during that timeframe. All I can remember is that going crazy in front of your loved ones is the worst thing that can happen to you. Nothing beats that look of fear on their eyes everytime you open up your mouth. I still get it and its been over a year. Oh well....take it from me brother, it is much better to relax and try to figure things out...one problem at a time. Don't shoot for the moon just yet.


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Kiss the ring Bitch!



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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3631209 - 01/15/05 03:15 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I had a psycotic break for a month, and yes it is the worst thing when your family are serioulsy worried about you, but feel that they can only stand by and watch as you progress further into psycosis.

I promised myself that i will never go through that or put my parents throguh that again!

Since then my brother and my mother have both developed serious mental illness. My mother is an alocoholic who suffers from manic depression and my brother sufferes from schizophrenia.


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OfflineInnerBeing
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: Sinbad]
    #3631233 - 01/15/05 03:24 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Sinbad,
Sigh.....I am very sorry to hear that you have went through similiar experiences like my own. I have been battling post traumatic stress disorder for a few years now and if it weren't for my pyschotic episode, I would have never found treament for my illness. I happy to say now that I am doing great with my medication, and therapy regime, but man....I have come along way.
I still hate looking in the eyes of my family members and wondering if they see a crazy person looking back at them. It really sucks to think that and I hope the thread starter doesn't have to go through what you and I have gone through.
There are more important things in life than trying to figure out the meaning of life, as it has been done for us already. Let those brave minds who wrote about it in the past teach us the knowledge they gained through physical and metal hardship. We don't have to go through the same trials that they undertook....we can just read their teachings and contemplate upon them.
I much rather live....than obsess about life's meaning.


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Kiss the ring Bitch!



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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3631322 - 01/15/05 03:56 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah man i feel you! Im much better now, and have halped myself a great deal with meditation and relaxation. Im much calmer than i used to be, but i still on occasion feel quite vulerable.

As the song goes 'We are all sensitive people, with so much to give!"

I have completely cut out cannabis and alcohol, as im sure these were contributing factors. My life has much improved thanks to the help and support of close friends and neighbours, who's infine compassion and generosity i can never truley repay.

It sounds silly but i feel quite overwhelmed with love when i think of the sacrifices so many people have made for me. But i also feel slightly sad at the same time, that i had to put them trhough that in the first place. I think vulnerability is ok, and an essential part of a human beings nature. To allow oneslf to open up to others and see that we are really not much different from each other is a blessing that i can ill afford.

Mental illness is seen as such a Taboo in todays society. Thank god for open minded forums like these where people can come for help and advice!

Without such places of refuge im sure many more people would slip through the net!


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OfflineInnerBeing
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: Sinbad]
    #3631437 - 01/15/05 04:30 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

There is nothing wrong with wanting to cry about what happened.  Sometimes that is the only way that I can deal with it, and it feels good to just let it all out in the form of tears.  It was a confusing situation, that I will never make sense of but I am doing my best to keep moving forward.
Five shrooms for you....
If you ever need to talk PM me. :mushroom2:


--------------------
Kiss the ring Bitch!



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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3631539 - 01/15/05 04:57 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I no longer express my emotions physically, rather i feel them completely and relax instead of bottling them up like i used to do.

I have been given methods for working with my emotions healthily, but thank you for your concern. Any time you feel like it you can PM me also, im sure there will be plenty of times when i will need your support too.

five shrooms for you also my friend!


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OfflineInnerBeing
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: Sinbad]
    #3631575 - 01/15/05 05:05 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I will do that...but how are you doing these days?
I have been doing great myself....but you never know....sometimes things can just go from great to bad in a blink of an eye. We'll see what tommorow brings...
Thanks for the shrooms and your offer. Take care


--------------------
Kiss the ring Bitch!



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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3632304 - 01/15/05 08:07 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

having a breakdown is a good opportunity
getting mired in confusion is not the same.

after a breakdown some things will be clearer. it is a maligned condition, and the term psychotic is over used and abused and not co-incident with the breakdown process.


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Invisibleshroomydan
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3632841 - 01/15/05 10:23 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Should one view all as fantasy, all as real or should one look for an objective reality?




Seek the objective reality. As others have noted, a good place to look is in the writings of the great philosophers of the past. Many of the problems which are troubling you have been extensively addressed.


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OfflineZekebomb
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: dorkus]
    #3633267 - 01/15/05 11:54 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

dr_mandelbrot said:
The ability to judge whether or not a thought popping up was probable or too far out was totally shut down. It is coming back, but do I want it? Should I aim for a sort of controlled psychosis and stop believing in all thoughts. Is this what people talk about when they recommend to 'know nothing' or is it too extreme?




I'd say find yourself a patron who will support you economically, and then get him to deliver food to you at your place up in the woods which you'll get, and only then should you go insane and believe nothing


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Invisibledorkus
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Re: the breaking apart of reality. [Re: Zekebomb]
    #3634293 - 01/16/05 07:49 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Thank you all very much for the replies.

This mindstate culminated before christmas, and I did go to see the doctor. I am on medication and the reality is slowly settling. I did quit the hash for 14 days straight which must be a record for me the last five years. Now I try not to smoke, but occasionally ends up in the haze for a week or so. Guess I'll have to cut back more. I haven't tripped since summer 04.

The fear in the eyes of loved ones have cast me deeper into despair and depression. But I feel like a 25 yo child sometimes. My mood is riding rollercoasters.


To much rather want to live, than obsess with life's meaning. The problem with me, is that I am the exact opposite. I have always had this different outlook on death than my peers. Maybe I have been obsessing with death? After I started tripping some years back, I totally retired into my apartment, smoking dope and reading spiritual literature.

As to the politics and the Terminator and all. I am Norwegian. We've got politicians with a whole different mindset over here. Some of us just can't comprehend the condition of your corrupt political hysteria. It's like a friggin' gameshow or something.

sometimes I still get the notion that everybody is enlightened, just waiting for me to finally catch up. This was probably a print I took during culmination. I feel ashamed for not being able to realize what it's all about in those moments. It is like I get these conversations in my head. Telepathic messages, but I am told to keep quiet about them. It scares me a little writing this, because my mind still is not sure about this. The voices tell me to accept them, but I just can't believe it would be spiritual and beneficial for the world at large if you guys, a sort of elite, did hold telepathic abilities, but hiding it from mainstream society in wait of the coming of the new age. More like a psychedelic conspiracy which left me out because I could not keep the fucking secret. Unstable grounds indeed.

Then suddenly all is normal, and I wonder: "what the hell was I thinking!?"

I will try to cut down on the reading. Have to get sane, am going to the university this autumn. Can't keep working in this shitty window-factory where I'm now. Feels like being caught in a thoughtloop allday, all year.

Thank you for the peace love and understanding


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