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Sinbad
Living TheMoment
Registered: 12/23/04
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Loc: Under The Bodhi Tree
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Is Love just Strong Attachment
#3617447 - 01/12/05 10:46 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Ive often wondered about falling in love in particular and whether or not its just another form of very strong attchement based on the fear of not wanting to be alone and perpertuated by our viewing of the good qualities percieved in the indiviual with whom we are infatuated!
By the way ive actually never fallen in love, so id appreciate all views on this matter!
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deafpanda
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Re: Is Love just Strong Attachment [Re: Sinbad]
#3617494 - 01/12/05 10:58 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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"Falling in love" is a strange idea. It's as if all that exists is total love or no love, when really, as with everything, its a sliding scale.
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Gomp
隆(Bound to路(O))be free!
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Re: Is Love just Strong Attachment [Re: Sinbad]
#3617509 - 01/12/05 11:04 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Have you found the beginning, then, that you are looking for the end? You see, the end will be where the beginning is. When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter, Love..
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Edited by Gomp (01/12/05 11:05 AM)
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Cosm
Questioning
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Loc: somewhere
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Re: Is Love just Strong Attachment [Re: deafpanda]
#3617575 - 01/12/05 11:19 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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love and true love might not be the same thing. In fact, they might even be complete opposites.When a person loves someone he yearns to be with them, a day apart feels like years.it is difficult to understand true love being as in reality, a lot of us have never actually felt it.most of the time when people refer to love, that love is rooted in their love for themselves.
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deafpanda
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Re: Is Love just Strong Attachment [Re: Cosm]
#3617585 - 01/12/05 11:22 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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What is special about true love? How is it different to love and how do you know?
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,061
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a very good fit [Re: Gomp] 1
#3617595 - 01/12/05 11:24 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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how about finding that you are in a wonderful town(not too big or too small), in front of the perfect house (not too big or too small), on a beautiful day (not too hot etc.), and this beautiful person opens the door just as you approach your home, you could not imagine a more beautiful person to open that door, and you hear that person say your name, and it is better than when anyone else says it.
it can be hair raising how nice a fit can happen.
note things change, and if an effort is not made ot grow together, lovers grow apart. things tend to stop fitting well if an attitude is not cultivated to improve on what was perfect.
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Gomp
隆(Bound to路(O))be free!
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For this reason I say, if one is whole, one will be filled with light, but if one is divided, one will be filled with darkness I am to drunk for this, sorry.
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Edited by Gomp (01/12/05 11:32 AM)
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Sinbad
Living TheMoment
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Very Poetic, it actually made me feel warm and fuzzy just reading your words redgreenvines.
But how can it be possible to improve on perfection?
Maybe its a matter of balance whether people stay together for a long time or not, an attidue of acceptance when faults are found in what we orignally perceived to be a perfect picture would be the most sensible and wise approach theoretically of course. I guess ill have to put that into practice if/when i fall in love.
Is love just infatuation, a sort of unrealistsic, exagerrated, fascination to pleasant stimuli. My parents say they were only in love for the first three years of their marrage, then it was more about companionship, friedship and co-operation. But they said that they still love each other.
So what is the difference between loving someone, and falling in love with someone?
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Anonymous
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Re: Is Love just Strong Attachment [Re: Sinbad]
#3618151 - 01/12/05 01:24 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Love is non-attachment.
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Swami
Eggshell Walker
Registered: 01/18/00
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how about finding that you are in a wonderful town(not too big or too small), in front of the perfect house (not too big or too small), on a beautiful day (not too hot etc.), and this beautiful person opens the door just as you approach your home, you could not imagine a more beautiful person to open that door, and you hear that person say your name, and it is better than when anyone else says it.
And then that person gets fat, and her scratchy, irritating voice yelling at you to get off your butt and do the yardwork, grates on your nerves and you would rather be anywhere else...
-------------------- The proof is in the pudding.
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Sinbad
Living TheMoment
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Swami]
#3618191 - 01/12/05 01:31 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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OMG thats hilariously true! Im never getting married, im just not that stupid!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Sinbad]
#3618647 - 01/12/05 02:41 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sinbad said: But how can it be possible to improve on perfection? ... So what is the difference between loving someone, and falling in love with someone?
silly, everything is changing, movement - growth... asian wisdom 101 so the perfect thing changes perfectly, but to dance with that is something intentional, no miracle will keep it crystalline and who would wan tthat anyway.
difference between loving and falling in love:
loving is the prime kusala root, it can be developed in a meditation or just emerge from an intention towards kindness or respecting the buddha nature within the other...
falling in love is the process of discovery of the perfect fit.
naturally since the parts are in flux, the fit is changing too, and one must steer towards the fitting and the falling together.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Swami]
#3618670 - 01/12/05 02:43 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Swami said: how about finding that you are in a wonderful town(not too big or too small), in front of the ....
And then that person gets fat, and her scratchy, irritating voice yelling at you to get off your butt and do the yardwork, grates on your nerves and you would rather be anywhere else...
well you have to look out for that and have a nice lawyer handy.
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muffelina81
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Sinbad]
#3618832 - 01/12/05 03:14 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think when you love someone as he/she is, with all his faults, thats a real love. Falling in love does not mean much, you can fall in love to so many people, and fall out of that love too, as soon as they get fat, start snoring... But I think to LOVE someone so much that you dont even mind that this person is with someone else, you just accept his/her choice , thats a true love for me, does not have to be sexual or physical.
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SkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Is Love just Strong Attachment [Re: ]
#3618847 - 01/12/05 03:18 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Max Headroom said: Love is non-attachment.
-------------------- Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.
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Swami
Eggshell Walker
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Yeah, I get all warm & fuzzy when I discover my lady "sleeping" with someone else. *Swami starts up chainsaw*
-------------------- The proof is in the pudding.
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Todcasil
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Swami]
#3619035 - 01/12/05 03:54 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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yeah that really pissed me off too. so i guess it wasnt love, just selfish behaviour.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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gettinjiggywithit
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Swami]
#3619228 - 01/12/05 04:21 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Swami said: And then that person gets fat, and her scratchy, irritating voice yelling at you to get off your butt and do the yardwork, grates on your nerves and you would rather be anywhere else...
yes, but when you are still happy to be there, then that is love or self punishment or
General reply now;
Love is like abstract math as in 1+1=3 as in you and me equals we and in that we is the greater me, in that greater me I am closer to whole and complete. Only, that is a delusion because the we is a disembodiment or is it how new souls are created in the alchemy and implosion of it all??
If you have ever been "in love" with another, you know that feeling of your heart bursting out. What is the reason for this, feeling like you are going to explode?
Why do we fall in it? Where does the gravity come from? two objects with mass or the meaning of making things matter? Why not fly up with it? Can we, how?
We are whole and complete when we find the love within, the ability to love the self wholly and fully. There are people who can tap into that source and be in the energy of love all on their own. Yes they are in love, not with themselves though they do love themselves, they are just in the energy of love and they are the ones who walk the earth with grace and humility.
The spiritual goal is be complete unto yourself, balanced and therefor detached or without need to attach. Then what?
Everyone on the planet, balanced and complete living in the grace of love unto their own selves. Then what?
What would life and our collective way of life be like?
No more jealousy, no more lack, no more need, no more silly commitments to secure being loved which are stupid anyway because they secure nothing. Dedication is there or its not and its a choice one has to remake every day, not just on one, for it to last.
If you can't generate it from within on your own, a relationship that you find it in won't last. You will attach and become dependent on eachother for it and burn it out. You have to remain your own source of it and stay in sharing mode for it to last with another.
If you can keep your own inner source generating and so can another, then you can attach at the heart and share in that and its powerful and incredible as it gets amped. However, people have to work on the self sustaining part first. And even then, making it last is just a day to day choice not a necessity.
On a more fun note;
Flames, ignitions and sparks are fun to play with ......the alchemy of love.
Romantic Love ......is like spiritual pyromania for bored souls who like playing with fire.
Falling in love sucks, it's to heavy, but flying up in love is where its at. The ideal is to give the heart wings, not lead weights.
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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Sinbad
Living TheMoment
Registered: 12/23/04
Posts: 2,571
Loc: Under The Bodhi Tree
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I am aware of the impermenant nature of all phenomenon, but you still didnt say how perfection could be improved apon, it seems impossible becuase it is a contradiction in terms.
i have no idea what "prime kusala root" means, can you please explain in plain english so everyone including me can understand.
"one must steer toward the fitting and falling together" what do you mean by this! can you be less vague for my benefit. humour me!
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skystone
stop the motion
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Re: a very good fit [Re: Swami]
#3619381 - 01/12/05 04:43 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Swami said: Yeah, I get all warm & fuzzy when I discover my lady "sleeping" with someone else. *Swami starts up chainsaw*
That's a natural reaction. But love is overcoming it, accepting the pain and anger, and letting go
-------------------- "..and suddenly it began to rain"
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