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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana.
#3600597 - 01/08/05 09:25 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Confusion reigns where I am at the moment. Confusion over what I think I'm typing, and confusion about how I am able to type as quickly and accurately as I can after everything... It's quite the mess. Of course I have no one to blame except myself for the entire situation. The entire string of events that has lead to where I am at right now has been orchastrated by no one but my self, and frankly speaking I should have known better.
It all began some three weeks ago... I think... about the 12th or so of december. No, thats wrong... I guess it was the next weekend, around the 17th. Thats when I left the town where I go to school and went on my CHRISTMAS BREAK. What does that mean? To many people it would mean a time to be with family and other loved ones, a time to give presents and eat good food, and perhaps, just perhaps, a time to remember and celebrate the poor birth of a child who would grow up to offer the world a glimpse, a chance, of love and peace.
But not for me.
Oh no, This was a time for my REWARD. You see, I take my college career very seriously, and as such I allow my self to partake of no drugs while school is in session. Indeed, I even take it to the next level, by not allowing myself to do drugs inside the city my school is located in. So when break rolled around I took it as my great chance. I escaped town and went about seriously making up for the time that I was not smoking. All I had was schwag it's true, but I was determined to make the most of it.
So until about thursday of last week I smoked up all day, every day. Way way to much, from the moment I got out of bed, till the moment I went to sleep. I should have known better, I should have tried to keep myself in check somehow, but I didn't. I had been under a lot of stress this last semester and now I was blowing off steam, or so it seemed in my own mind. I got to the point where I would wake up feeling shaky and stupid until I took that first toke and then I would feel GREAT, not only that, but NORMAL! What a sign.
To confound the problem, I got into some Xanax. I took that and even passed out from it on one occasion.
I have never been a regular smoker, not habitual, not addicted, but there were a few times when in public I found I couldn't be smoking dope, so I'd smoke ciggerettes. Then I started craving them. You see, people who don't smoke regularly do get a buzz off of regular smokes... and I came to think of it as a subsitute high, and now I think I'm slightly addicted to ciggerettes too.
Now however, the other shoe is dropping.
I've found myself back at school, and without any chemical entertainment. I don't NEED any... I know that with my mind... however my body has other ideas...
I'm extremely nervous, suffering from slight mental confusion, and am experiancing a bit anxiety. For example, I was think early that my left eye was going to fall out. I was sure of it. These things are somewhat normal though, as far as addiction goes, and I'm sure that they will pass in about 10 days to two weeks... at least for the most part. But I'm stuck to deal with it until then, and the cravings... although I don't think I'm far enough along yet for those to really have started to hit.
Regardless, I'm not asking for sympathy, after all I did it to myself and it's only pot... I just thought I'd take a moment to state that moderation in things is probably a good idea after all.
-------------------- RIP Acidic_Sloth Sunset_Mission said: "larry the scary rex verily scary when thoroughly vexed invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex mercifully massacring memories masterfully relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs" April 24th 2011
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 23 days
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3600632 - 01/08/05 09:34 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah like you said, you just need to give your body a little time to re-adjust and you'll be fine. And also like you said, it's only pot. At least you didn't go on a weeklong alcohol or coke binge. My advice to you though would be to never smoke another cigarette as long as you live. You seem like you may have an addictive personality (but you seem pretty in control of it) and I know from personal experience how nicotine addiction can creep up on you.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 29 days
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3600640 - 01/08/05 09:39 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Where you at in Indy? I'm in Bloomington currently.
-------------------- { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Adamist]
#3600641 - 01/08/05 09:39 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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then we have something in common.
-------------------- RIP Acidic_Sloth Sunset_Mission said: "larry the scary rex verily scary when thoroughly vexed invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex mercifully massacring memories masterfully relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs" April 24th 2011
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 29 days
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3600647 - 01/08/05 09:41 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Interesting.
-------------------- { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Loc:
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3600680 - 01/08/05 09:50 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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mixing drugs with your daily life is always bad news. I just got back from a 10 day vacation is Los Angeles in which i didnt smoke anything and felt great. I just got back home in Maine and I've already toked up a couple times and right now my body feels like total shit. I'm swearing off the plant when spring semester begins.
on an unrelated note, the Perfect Drug is possibly the coolest music video i've ever seen...
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AbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3604378 - 01/09/05 04:26 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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""You in here, for some marijuana? MARIJUANA! ; Yeah, well I used to suck dick for crack! ; You eva suck sum dick, for some marijuana? ::Uhm no, I dont think so..:: ; Didnt think so.....BOO THIS MAN!....""
If you are not asking for sympathy, then i will feel free to say this :
Shut up and take it like a man! Develop CHEMICAL CLOSURE! Its mentality son.
-------------------- A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.
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blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3604419 - 01/09/05 04:35 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Larrythescaryrex said: I got to the point where I would wake up feeling shaky and stupid until I took that first toke and then I would feel GREAT, not only that, but NORMAL! What a sign.
wtf? Weed is not an addictive substance. You will crave it mentally, but the shakes? C'mon, man, you obviously have some other issue going on that gives you the shakes. I have only gotten the shakes from getting pulled over with weed on me. Xanax puts me out, also. Even dosed out of my skull, I have passed out on this substance. Anyway, like ares said, it's just a mental aberration. Check yoself, fool!
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Vvellum
Stranger
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3604460 - 01/09/05 04:46 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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you must leave indiana asap. rural areas = the suck. move to chitown.
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lesstutrey
All Weather Associate
Registered: 10/24/04
Posts: 495
Loc: Chicagoland
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Vvellum]
#3604496 - 01/09/05 04:54 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
you must leave indiana asap. rural areas = the suck. move to chitown.
i agree, and xanax is used for the most part to put people down. Whenever i take it, it is specificaly for passing out. Having a bad trip? eat a few xanax and you'll come down. Everything you are expirencing is a mental issue, and you should highly consider quiting doing ANY substance as obviously you have a highly addictive personality type.
Edited by lesstutrey (01/09/05 04:55 PM)
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blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: lesstutrey]
#3604545 - 01/09/05 05:03 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
lesstutrey said:
Quote:
you should highly consider quiting doing ANY substance as obviously you have a highly addictive personality type.
my thoughts, exactly!
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Pretindica
Stranger
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 2
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: blissedout]
#3611582 - 01/11/05 06:30 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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i have something in common with you guys too.
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 29 days
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Pretindica]
#3611588 - 01/11/05 06:37 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Check your PMs
-------------------- { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420
Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3611589 - 01/11/05 06:37 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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hah i go to school in indiana too
this state sucks get me out
-------------------- *Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 29 days
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Help on the Way]
#3611594 - 01/11/05 06:39 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude you think this place sucks try living in Florida.
-------------------- { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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YidakiMan
Stranger
Registered: 09/28/02
Posts: 2,023
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Re: confusion and anxiety. Going to far in indiana. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#3611645 - 01/11/05 07:16 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I live in Indiana's left armpit.
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