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InvisibleSinbad
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Posts: 2,571
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I Love Isolation
    #3597834 - 01/08/05 12:17 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Many people comment on how starnge i am, and im quite comfortable with that, but recently alot of people have been saying things like "your spending to much time by yourself, its not healthy" and "why dont you ever go out with your friends anymore", the fact is i love my own company, a concept that seems to escape most peoples comprehension.

Is this a sign of something unhealtthy in me? is it considered healthy by society for a person to spend 99% of his time alone. Dont get me wrong, i like people, i just dont activley seek others company, nor do i need there company to confirm my own existence. Everybody nowerdays is generally very busy, and rarley spends much time alone with themselves, i on the other hand have pleney of free time, and love isolation.

I know this isnt normal, do i need to remedy this situation even if i feel content. My brother seems to thinks and he thinks im depressed, but really i feel just balanced. Is there anything wrong with me, or am i just strange? Is my love of isolation going to cause me problems in the long term?

Id be grateful for any comments :smile:


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3598022 - 01/08/05 01:12 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Every one is different. Sure some say its a sign of something. But seriosly its about what makes you comfortable. I wouldnt hide away though because its healthy to soscialise. You need it to grow.


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Offlineheadset
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #3598463 - 01/08/05 03:04 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Im the same - the feeling the same social pressures. Overall - i think ill just stick with being alone. I usually feel like a drag on other people, or theyre a drag on me.

Cant comment on health.


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InvisibleSinbad
Living TheMoment
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Registered: 12/23/04
Posts: 2,571
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: headset]
    #3598778 - 01/08/05 04:10 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

yeah man, i dont really feel like im a drag on people, but i feel like idle mindless small talk is a waste of time and energy. Unless the conversation is meaningful i really feel like i cant be arsed, its like repeating the same habitual patterns of normality

For me Silence is golden and i love my own company, people generally dont understand me and think im pretty bizzare and weird, but im not, i just cant fit into peoples ideas of normality, and it saddens me to watch others play out this act, so i have to break the spell with bizzare acts of insanity.

Of course i play the game when i have too, like in college and work, but socially i just cant do it anymore, i have seen through the illusion, and can no longer
play along anymore.

So nowedays i prefer to keep myself to myself instead of rattling on other peoples prison bars.Its easier becuase people who are asleep generally dont like rude awakenings.

As the red hot chilli peppers said "Once you know, you can never go back, i gotta take it on the otherside"

The other alternative is that i could actually be crazy, but im happy with my craziness.  :crazy2: :crazy:

P.S my original post is BS and came purley out of a slight feeling of insecuriy which has now been quickly cleaned up.



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Offlinenonoman
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3598830 - 01/08/05 04:26 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

May not be normal, but I'm an isolationist, too. Fuck what everyone else said, as long as you're not hurting anyone else or yourself, you have the right to live the way you want.


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InvisibleTODAY
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3599038 - 01/08/05 05:11 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

i spend alot of time by myself, i'm just the most comfortable while alone.  i do enjoy my friend's company though so i'm not a total hermit :wink:


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: TODAY]
    #3599157 - 01/08/05 05:34 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

i mostly hibernate in the winter, i dont know why?


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OfflineDark5tar
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3599333 - 01/08/05 05:54 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Kinda funny reading this thread, I was just at the library and saw a book called "Loners" or something, its just got a sheep standing by itself in a pasture on the cover. Apparently like all old smart people like Michelangelo were "Loners" and considered wierd during there lifetime. You might wanna check it out.

As for myself, I value my time alone, since 75% of the day im with people....


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3599352 - 01/08/05 05:57 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

My Lady and I are Introverts (vs. Extroverts). I have more of a social need than she does, but we both need to be with people who are interesting, who like to think and discusss ideas. I would rather spend tonight (Saturday) at home with her, reading books, than go through the same tired routine with a couple who never read, idolize parenthood, and have nothing to say. They are nice people, but totally boring. Last night 3 women came to our house - a friend for some years (29) and two 24 year old friends of hers who are enthusiastically into the Omega Institute and spiritual discovery. One girl was getting totally excited about books in our library. To most Extroverted Americans, last night's discussion and levity, sounds completely uninteresting.

When I come home from working with adolescents in a middle school all day, and all I hear is the ticking of our grandfather clock, and its occasional chiming - I LOVE THE SILENCE! I have been asked by a soccer-mom type: "How can you stand it?!" She does not know what stillness is, has no peace, no faith, and is addicted to movement, activity, banality - a total Extrovert. Now that her younger kid is gonna go off to college and there will be no more frenetic running around, I wonder if she'll freak out with the quietude.

I can assure you that Introversion is not only healthy and normal, but in the second half of life, Introverts fair much better with the aging process, the decreased activity and social involvement than Extroverts do. It is important, like SHEIKofSHIITAKE said to socialize for the benefit of social development - particularly if you're young and still developing social processes in your personality.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleSinbad
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Registered: 12/23/04
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #3599391 - 01/08/05 06:03 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah man, My sister cant stand to seconds of silence, she is contantly busy and always doing something, if we are in the car she will always have music on. To me that sounds like true "ISOLATION", my isolation is simply relaxing and giving my self space which to me is pretty blissful.

For new years io spent 5 days in a cottage in the middle of the countryside by myself in silence. It was the best new years ever!
i went for walks, eat sleep, shit, mneditate and relax.

Now im back i have been spedning alot of time on the computer though  :crazy:

im only 21, so thats why everyone is on my case about social interation!


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InvisibleBlu Spore
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3599445 - 01/08/05 06:09 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Your love of isolation could end up hurting you in the long run because socializing is big a part of life and you will miss out on fun opportunities if you isolate yourself.


Social skills are just that, they are skills. Some people are born with natural skills in this area but others have to learn them through experience or fake them. It first helps to understand the "crowd" that you are interacting with...are they stoners, people from work, educated university grads...they are different rules of conduct for different groups of people. Also if you find yourself in a group situation where you have nothing in common with the people just ask questions. Simple questions that relate to the conversation somehow and maybe throw in a little comment or story of your own. Also, small talk may seem useless to you but it is the lubricant that makes way to discuss bigger more important issues.

I used to hang around the stupid stoner group in high school and I wondered why I never fit in with them.... after all I liked getting stoned :grin: The reason I couldn?t relate to them was because they were idiots for the most part (and it is not like I am really smart, they were just really dumb) I would always have to fake enjoyment when I was with them because they did things were not of interest to me, things like doing jumps on their skateboards, yelling random things at old people, talking like a bunch of black teenagers "Yo, dawg, pass da bowl"  anyways.....just find people who you relate too and don?t hang around a group of people because of habit.

The option of being a hermit is always open but that doesn?t seem like any fun.


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InvisibleSinbad
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Registered: 12/23/04
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Blu Spore]
    #3599542 - 01/08/05 06:32 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I have no problems understanding people from most walks of life and socailly interacting with them i find easy. i have great social skills when i choose to use them. I used to use these skills to my advantage socially up until i woke up, since then things have changed! i used to have a wide social perspective, in school i was friends with all crowds of people and got on with everybody. i agree that small talk can be useful, but most people only have negative things to say and as such never leave the small talk phase of a conversation.

As i have become more spiritually inclined and more readily focused on the value of my life, naturally i have become a hermit. I have turned from a person liked and accepted by everyone to a strange, crazy, person who threatens peoples ego's.

Its almost like i commited social suicide when my ego commited suicide. im not saying im enlightened but im certainly completely hopeless. I have no interest in excessive excitement, or mindlessness labled "fun" anymore. Call me boring but thats how it is.

In fact i find stoners to be the only people who really accerpt me for who i am. But the stoners who i know arent like the ones you describing, theyre just mostly quite lazy people with good hearts and loose minds.

Anyways im off to bed. Enough of my rantings.  :crazy:


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InvisibleBlu Spore
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3599674 - 01/08/05 07:05 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Sinbad said:
I have no problems understanding people from most walks of life and socailly interacting with them i find easy. i have great social skills when i choose to use them.  :crazy:





Well first off consider yourself very lucky that you natually have the skills to work with people if you want to. Take it from somebody who was basically born socially retarded (me) that you are lucky. I still struggle to this day.

It sounds like you have a bit of psychedelic burn on the old brain. This happens when you use psychedelics to the point of alienating yourself from "normal" society. You're ego was probably never stable to begin with if you thought suicide was the answer to it all. I don?t know what to tell you besides try and be tolerant of the ego driven people:confused: :grin: :mushroom2:


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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3599876 - 01/08/05 07:59 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I hate isolation, but it's the way I live.
I want to change, but I can't.


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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: barfightlard]
    #3600042 - 01/08/05 08:44 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

You're not alone. I prefer to be by myself


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3600148 - 01/08/05 09:10 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I wouldn't say anything is wrong with you, if you are happy the way you are :wink:

I don't gravitate towards socialization, either. 99% of the time I do all my socializing while I am at work for the day: when I get home I generally spend my time alone instead of going out. I would rather spend a friday night at home with a good book than go out to a bar or anything like that. It's not that I'm anti-social...because I certainly don't mind being around people...I just don't feel a great need to be around people.

People think that I am weird, too :wink:


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You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #3600164 - 01/08/05 09:15 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Phumfeinz said:
You're not alone. I prefer to be by myself




Just realized, that wasnt a good choice of words was it?


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InvisibleSinbad
Living TheMoment
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Registered: 12/23/04
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Blu Spore]
    #3602307 - 01/09/05 07:38 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

" You're ego was probably never stable to begin with if you thought suicide was the answer to it all"

Man you got me wrong, i didnt mean that i wanted to commit suicide! :eek: My ego naturally committed suicide when there was no longer any space left for it in the present moment.

as for being tolerant of ego driven people, im tollerant of the people, but not there ego's!

:smile:


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: trendal]
    #3602309 - 01/09/05 07:39 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

trendal man i hear you loud an clear!

Peace


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OfflineStonedShroom
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Re: I Love Isolation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3602581 - 01/09/05 10:24 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

funny- i was about to make a post about the same.

I'm not at all shy- in fact I'm up for a job as a trainer at my work (training there is like a classroom setting). I like people and have a plethora of aquintances that i talk to about everyday, but I really don't envision myself as a people person- although I have all the characteristics of one. I like to party and go out, but I only like it about once a month- if even that. Outside of work I don't have meaningless conversations, a lot of people think that I'm arrogant because I don't just carry a conversation about the weather with whoever says hi to me. one of my old friends told me i had a superiority complex because I would always want to talk about concepts that were way beyond her realm of comprehension. Around an informal group of people it seems I'm either at one end of the spectrum or another... I'm either laid back and queit and just observing everyone interacting or I'm the center of attention telling jokes and stories. If it's work related I'm more of the leader and teacher.

recently I've just felt like being alone in my spare time. I beleive it's because I have came out of relationship that for two years all my concerns were about someone else and I lost me. I'm way over the relationship- that's for sure, but it seems that I don't know myself and I'm spending time alone to just regroup and find myself. I believe by the time summer starts I'll be a lot more social.

I've also been focusing on getting out all the negative energy in my life. One of which was my old friend. I'm sure she means well, but her world view is terribly skewed. She stresses over everything and being around her just drains me. She thinks she's the center of everyone's universe and has a VERY hard time when everyone she knows doesn't answer her every beck and call. I mean she got mad at me when I wouldn't come visit her becasue I was working hard in a new department at work, yet she never took the iniative to come visit me. I feel sorry for her husband.

she just didn't understand that I'd rather be by myself for a few months than at her filthy rat hole house listening to her have a nervous breakdown about the cat food package changing.


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We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

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