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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Emotional Vulnerability
    #3596686 - 01/08/05 02:34 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Sometimes, I wonder if heady "intellectual" mental oriented types are such as a defense mechanism to emotional vulnerability.

I wonder, why it is sometimes difficult for some to just allow themselves to feel, to pay attention to their feelings, to open up to feelings, or to entertain feelings.

If it were to be because they don't feel good, why would that be? wouldn't that require associated thoughts ideas or beliefs that don't feel good? if so, would a solution be to change the thoughts, ideas or beliefs that generate those feelings to ones that generate good feelings?

Do people realize to do that? Just raising awareness there.

Sometimes, I wonder how it is that when I leave myself open emotionally I tend to take on the emotions of others around me and after a while, I begin to wonder why i feel the way I do because I am not thinking correlating thoughts.

I can be with someone really negative, like my neighbor, and walk away bitching about this and that and be like, "where is this coming from out of me, I was feeling great earlier"

I suppose its related to being empathetic, though that is required in a way to be compassionate, there is a difference when you can clearly distinguish between YOUR feelings and those of anothers and keep them in their places.

Then I wonder, if we are in essense one heart, are not anothers feelings also mine to deal with? Is it living in a form of duality or separateness to say, those are YOUR feelings and this are MINE?

It would seem so.

Ultimately, I would like to be emotionally open 24/7 to be in joy and in love all of the time because it feels so good. I can generate that emotion myself pretty easily. Yet, if I expose myself to someone feeling really negative or bad, wham bam shove it to you ma'am, I feel their crap.

Then, I have to heal it up for myself to feel good again. Sometimes, if it's flying in from all directions if I am not paying attention to 24/7 healing, I find myself just shutting off my emotions and moving back into my head. Is their really a shutting of them off though or is it always just stuffing, shoving, ignoring and repressing them to an inevitable blow up?

It is, i don't believe we can truly shut them down or off as in make it go away.

the other thing I think about is if we are one heart , then taking on others junk and healing it is a form of serving the one. On the other hand, what if an individual of the one is like a toxic nuclear waste plant just spewwing stuff while others just keep cleaning it up?

Wouldn't it make more sense to say, screw this it never ends and live the plant to waste away on its own toxicity? relating this to a person, would it make more sense to think you are serving them by leaving them to waste away or feel so crappy they are moved to start their own refinery of their toxic waste and clean themselves up.

What is their incentive if they can just dump it off in the river for others to clean up?

does that sound selfish or is it in support of each and everyone individual of the one reaching their own sovereignty, a complete whole in themselves, self sufficient to maintain vital energy production and self refining on their own?

I vacillate on this. However, i am yet not good at staying open, which I prefer to because I enjoy the feelings I generate for myself and am tired of taking on other peoples junk. Maybe it is also that their junk, through resonance principles, is loosening up my deeply buried junk from the past and it's just surfacing for healing/refining back into clean pure energy- love.

If that is the case, then they are helping me.

I have a friend who says that all you need to do to stay open and in love joy 24/7 is to fine tune your emotional reception to ONLY receive love and joy and then you can be around all sorts of junk and not effected by it. It does work, but it takes constant vigilance.

After what I just wrote in the above, what happens to deeply repressed you may have left over from child hood? When or how is it able to get busted up and dislodged to surface for healing? If you are always tuned into love and joy, you will never know it is there, yet does that matter any more? maybe in light of the inflowing love, it just dissipates into the illusion it always was.

Maybe, it simmers and festers and finds ways to release itself anyway, under the radar of your vigilance. Maybe, if you keep the love and joy flowin in, as any is released, it gets caught up in the flow of love and healed naturally or automatically.

I think I was just moved to post on all this to give food for thought and FEELING ha ha and am curious to hear how others may address the duality issues I presented. Really there is no right or wrong way as it all comes out in the wash eventually, I think it is more about ideals.

What is the overall ideal here for optimum health and general well-being and healing right here and right now? Sometimes, I think I have this down, and then, I find myself questioning it all again. :crazy2:


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597107 - 01/08/05 04:27 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I am glad you question it.
It seems like a not too simple trick.
As much as it is a complicated game, you should have mixed feelings about it; but to the extent that it actually helps situations and people, it is a good thing, even if it has some of complex gamey nature.


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OfflineJalruza
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3597357 - 01/08/05 06:55 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

it all comes down from illusion that the higher force is out to get you and you got to out smart it  :rolleyes:


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Edited by Ewok (01/08/05 07:14 AM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597360 - 01/08/05 07:02 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Sometimes, I wonder if heady "intellectual" mental oriented types are such as a defense mechanism to emotional vulnerability.

The desire to understand how my car or computer or the universe works has nothing to do with covering any emotional problems. Don't know why you would correlate the two.


--------------------



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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597709 - 01/08/05 11:09 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I would rather be logical than emotional, though it does not have to do with emotional "vulnerability". I would rather know and understand the world around me than "feel good". Feeling is fleeting, changing from moment to moment. While I do understand the appeal that emotion may have for some...it holds little (none) for me. I would rather live "unhappy" but with Knowledge of the world around me than to live in blissful ignorance.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3597776 - 01/08/05 11:55 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Red,

I appreciate that you understood what I was bouncing around in the same way that you see the considerations.

Perhaps swami and tren have bounced it all around before and came to their own conclusions in all of this. like I said, I vacillate on it all, though regardless, I know I want to be able to be open emotionally 24/7. Just looking for the way to do it where I can stay feeling at a minimum of contentment.

It may be unrealistic and maybe not. Guess I see it as a challenge.

hey Swami, welcome back! :hug:

Why or how did I correlate the two? Perhaps there isn't one. I don't know which is why I am bouncing this stuff around. Why I can see the possibility is that many hyper sensitive people I know, tend to be the same types that take on the suffering of others and world suffering in general.

For example, this forum is where we are apt to find more sensitive types and it is also the forum where world suffering issues come up the most. Maybe that is coincidence.

Anyway, of the hyper sensitives (empaths) I know, when the weights get to be too much, they pull back waaaaaaaay back to gain a higher perspective on it all to ease it, so much so that they tend to come across "insensitive" to it all as they are looking at it mentally with reasoning and are no longer feeling it.

Maybe it's not a defense as much as it may be a coping mechanism.

The bottom line is , we do have emotional bodies. What are there they there for. For what purpose has nature and evolution given us the ability to feel things like happiness and sadness, love and fear. Do some of you think we are evolving out of emotional feeling ability? Are they not necessary in your view? Is the ability to think logically all we need to survive?

I wonder about all of these things.

I remember reading in a medical journal waiting at the doctors office about how research was done that found emotional pain activated the same area of the brain as did physical pain. The conclusion was that emotional pain is just as real as physical pain as far as the brains responce to it. That was interesting to me. I found it a few weeks to late.

My daughter had broken her arm and had pins put in last summer. The day they went to yank the pins out of her bone and muscles, all I was allowed to give her was Tylenol for the pain.

I thought that was barbaric, You should of seen the huge gnarly pliers they used while the pinned her down as she was screaming bloody murder. They said all of the kids, as if that made it better somehow?

I had asked if I could get a mild sedative for her. They said No. I had asked why they do not use nitrous to ease the emotional/mental trauma of the experience. They said it wasn't worth it to keep someone certified to administer it on staff.

Shit, her dentist gave it to her to calm her before a Novocaine shot- for free, he has children and understood.

maybe some of this has to do with being a parent and watching children go through more emotional and mental suffering then they do physical pain, scraping knees and getting bruises and stuff. maybe it just goes back to some people are more sensitive to the emotional pain of others and why is that? Is that tied into an ability to relate from experience and memory?

I would've presented them with that article had I had and asked why they only recognize treating physical pain, but not mental or emotional if the brain responds to it just the same?

I could probably write a book on all of the things I question and wonder about related to this broad topic.

Trendal, what is going to happen when you fall in love? Can you help from doing that? Maybe people can.

Ewok,
I have no idea what your comment had to do with this topic or how it was suppose to add to the discussion.

I will pull it into relevance. perhaps if you explore this topic with anyone here interested we may come to understand why you use sarcastic humor and why I do at times as well. It's my understanding that sarcastic humor is meant to cut at someone. Like slapstick, somehow watching other people get hurt is funny to watch. How do people get emotionally cut, why do people do it to others for a laugh.

A friend once told me that sarcasm was negative humor and used to mask negativity in the name of a laugh. You yourself have gotten on someone here for using it and now you are? Not that I am judging, I have too and it's a bad habit I would personally like to drop. At one point in my life, some people nick named me the shredder. That's not cool to me any more.

Was it my way of being insensitive to not dealing with being sensitive to my own negative feelings lurking in the abyss of me?

Just bouncing it all around. I appreciate any comments that add to develop a greater understanding of our emotional selves.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597792 - 01/08/05 12:04 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

This reminds me of when someone says
"He just has to get laied, that's all"
as a response to someones phylosophical thinking.

I don't think thingking and logic has anything to do
with emotional problems.


--------------------
"..and suddenly it began to rain"


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: skystone]
    #3597818 - 01/08/05 12:13 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

You are entitled to that opinion. I think many here are of the opinion that logic and ration is what calms emotional storms and emotional conflict and or that remaining in a place of mental logic and ration keeps ones emotions from becoming turbulent or in conflict in the first place.

I get the feeling this topic is way to broad to get any sort of grip on. Non the less, these are the things I would like to explore through thoughtful disccusion.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (01/08/05 12:16 PM)


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit] * 1
    #3597832 - 01/08/05 12:17 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I wonder if heady "intellectual" mental oriented types are such as a defense mechanism to emotional vulnerability.

That's a narrow observation, Mademoiselle Jiggy. See, there are quite a few others, to say the least, from all walks of life and from all types of demographics, that have such emotional insecurity.

The common denominator of all these people from all over the world is certainly not heightened intellectuality. What, then, is the common factor?
I understand that one may say it is observable that people with strong intellects may use such psychogenic properties to shield their vulnerable spots, be it emotionality, sexuality or otherwise.

But because one, for instance, uses his Brutus-like masculinity to hide his femininity, does not automate any forgone conclusion that he possesses such qualities soley for being a psychological shield.

Let's go back to the question of 'what is the common denominator?'...
Well, one possible answer is that aside from having an insecurity, they all have innate qualities and characteristics that can potentially be used for covering their weaker spots...



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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3597849 - 01/08/05 12:22 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Exactly, in itself it is narrow and because I have started out wondering from a narrow view point, the intention has been to braoden it through exploration and disscusion.

Your reply confused me. On the one hand it seemed you were saying it may be observable that insensitivity to emotion is a cover for hyper emotional sensitivity but it may not be. Then you said, the potential is there for it to be.

See what I mean about how and why it is difficult to come to any conclusions on this topic as you broaden it through considerations?


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit] * 1
    #3597865 - 01/08/05 12:26 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

It's not like all human life is just an emotional ride, for some it is perhapse, but emotions are just one component of a mind, they
are nature's defense mechanisms, they are not a meaning of life.


--------------------
"..and suddenly it began to rain"


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597879 - 01/08/05 12:29 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I want to add this to the above Skorp. Regarding empathetic people, and considering spirituality boards are a mecca for them, you are saying that they are emotionally insecure.

I may first say that is narrow thinking, but again would rather look at it as a starting point for broadening understanding.

I mentioned a friend who started off highly empathetic-taking on the emotional weight of others until she learned as she said, to fine tune her recpetion to only recieve loving and joy filled emotion from others.

Was she really just making herself secure in that or shall I say, securing her emotional state to an ideal? Hmmmm interesting correlation.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597884 - 01/08/05 12:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Actually, I think I might've misunderstood what you were trying to express.

Oh well.

Edit: Can you crystallize and rephrase the epitome of what your basic, seeking question is?


--------------------
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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: skystone]
    #3597892 - 01/08/05 12:33 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

skystone said:
It's not like all human life is just an emotional ride, for some it is perhapse, but emotions are just one component of a mind, they
are nature's defense mechanisms, they are not a meaning of life.




Are you saying that the one component of emotions in mind is merely that they serve us as defence mechanisms?

What is love or joy defending one from and how do you see that as being a component of the mind?

Are you saying thoughts give meaning to life not emotions? if so how do thoughts do that and why should they? Why would either even have the ability to? What is the evolutionary purpose?


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3597962 - 01/08/05 12:54 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I was thinking more on that myself. I wrote about a study I read in a medical journal, about emotional or mental pain activiating the same areas of the brain that physical pain does resulting in fight or flight responces.

Adding to this how Skorp brought up insecurities. We leave ourselves vulnerable to physical pain and injury all of the time, when we play sports, ride in cars, take showers etc.

In this sense we can easily say we are physically insecure, regarding our garanteed safety with living a physical life.

How is that any worse then dealing with emotional safety when living as an emotional being in life?

Could not withdrawing from emotions and feelings be an extreme for of taking flight to emotional pain? Is this what you meant sky when saying that the emotional component of the mind, was another form of defense against pain?

You can see how it would be in that no one likes to feel mental or emotional pain, weight, frustration or trauma and the ability to fight or take flight from the cause helps to keep us safe and secure from the potential threat.

Threat against what is the question? Some may say, the ego. Is ego tied to our emotional body then and how so and what is the purpose?


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3598044 - 01/08/05 01:19 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Yes I am saying that emotions are chemical in nature, and are not the meaning of life.

Love on the other hand is not an emotion, not in scientific terms, not in practice. Love is a very complex phenomenon, it is a realtioship of a mind towards some object. It not an emotion.

Emotions are anger, sadness, joy, etc.

What is the purpuse of Joy? Motivation. It's like a sugar cube at the end of a trick.

On the other hand there is peace and serenity, which is a lasting state of mind and can bring a lot more pleasure than passing joy.
I'd say growth, learning, expanding awareness, learning about the universe in every way, from science to spiritiality all in the pleasant environment of serenity is what brings much more meaning to life than emotions.

Not to mention that emotions are a stress to the body, both joy, fear and anger are stresfull to the body.

Emotions are like a little spice you put on food, but they are not food itself.


--------------------
"..and suddenly it began to rain"


Edited by skystone (01/08/05 01:21 PM)


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3598046 - 01/08/05 01:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I'm still not clearly understanding your question, at least, not coherently. But, I'll take a stab in the dark and offer a thread I created about fear, as I can see that this issue, in general, that is under discussion has much to do with fear.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/3564321/an//page//vc/1



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: skystone]
    #3598065 - 01/08/05 01:27 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Yes I am saying that emotions are chemical in nature, and are not the meaning of life.

Love on the other hand is not an emotion, not in scientific temrs, not in practice. Love is a very complex phenomenon, it is a realtioshim of a mind towards some object. It not an emotion.

Emotions are anger, sadness, joy, etc.

What is the purpuse of Joy? Motivation. It's like a sugar cube at the end of a trick.

On the other hand there is peace and serenity, which is a lasting state of mind and can bring a lot more pleasure than passing joy.


I agree, wholeheartedly... except for one thing. I think the word pleasure would better suit what you are expressing, with the word joy. Pleasure comes from something or someone outside of you, whereas joy comes from within and beyond.
But I understand, in regards to what you and I are saying, that it's all semantics on the surface, but beneath it's all the same.

"To meet everything and everyone through stillness instead of mental noise is the greatest gift you can offer to the universe. I call it stillness, but it is a jewel with many facets: that stillness is also joy, and it is love." -Eckhart Tolle



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3598076 - 01/08/05 01:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I used the word joy because he used it in his question,
I think he ment joy as happiness in the classical way of jumping up and down and yelling (that's an emotion), so I responded with same terminology.

By the way, wonderfull quote!


--------------------
"..and suddenly it began to rain"


Edited by skystone (01/08/05 01:35 PM)


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Re: Emotional Vulnerability [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3598095 - 01/08/05 01:36 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I'm glad you touched on that Skorp as I was going to write about it in the original post and spaced it.

I was also considering the difference between the nature of emotion that is derived from within and the beyond within, versus that which comes from an exteral source.

That was one of the questions I had regarding the duality of it and in the bigger picture, isn't all a part of the one heart? is not all without actually also within orrrrrrrrrr

is the neagtivity of one in itself or from an external source not a part of the source beyond within but then would it be illusive as in a fabrication of distorted thought and there fore, nothing that needs inclusive attention?

Maybe this ties into it. What is caring about something? Is it mental or emotional to care about something or both? What is the purpose of caring about things, people and ideas?


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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