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All Weather Associate
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Registered: 10/24/04
Posts: 495
Loc: Chicagoland
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Paragraph of importance
    #3587660 - 01/06/05 05:42 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Just a breif paragraph from a short story i'm working on.  i hope you all hate it, cause it will boost my ego. :smile:

I miss the edge standing on a ledge I jot notes in my ledger.  Last thoughts, and final wishes, dreams gone, no kisses for begot for this love.  Not a soul would care, not a soul would dare to miss this life, or buy into this hype, why would they.  Straying between reality and delusion this soul has come to the conclusion that all this is an illusion.  They know better than this, and shred the letter his eyes now becoming redder he feels the flood being.  He thinks of his brother at his weakest, realizing his will could defeat this transgression, this just a side note in the life of depression.  Amazed at the beauty of the softly lit road below he begins to alleviate the sorrow that has been his existence, burrowing someplace inside where happiness isn?t just a lie.

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Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Paragraph of importance [Re: lesstutrey]
    #3588443 - 01/06/05 12:18 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I like it, but it could be fixed up just a touch to get more rymes out of it.

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?

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