Well i havent posted in a while...A while ago we did some 2ct7, and were having fun. A little way into the trip, we did some E, bad idea. We should have looked it up, but we are weird. Well anyways that night i thought i was lost in this eternal trance of insanity. The 'ecstacy' feeling overcame me, and it started to become too much, i felt like i figured out a secret to the universe, some answer that was the answer to all of everyting...time, color, questions. Anything. This is kinda far fetched cause it was more of a feeling i cant explain so yeah. Well it started to like turn in to this overwhelming feeling that i couldnt get rid of. I was like oh no i cant escape, it has consumed me. Then i relized it wasnt about that. It was about me, life was just some thing we imagine, and i was hte only thing in the universe, i wasnt the only person in existant, i was EVERYTHING and nothing at once just a lost mind, and i kept seeing/whatever these few objects. One was my name, the other was a police officer looking guy, other a fire fighter, and the other was me as a kid in this orange jacket[i have a picture somewhere so i remember it] Well anyways i cant focus one one, they kinda lead to eachother. Well anyways, one hting would lead to another and it would be an eternal cycle i tried to ask myself what it was...it replied that it was my own insanity. It didnt need to make sense, it just was there. Now this is all hard to explain and im sorry for doing such a shitty job, but like the depth behind it is so much more. Since then, i have gotten high like 2 times, both on 2ct7, and each time i have flashbacks, kinda...I feel like instead of letting my mind expand and think of all the what if's i used to, im stuck on this one thing that seems to be hte right answer. No matter how scary it is, its htere and there is no way to avoid it. My friend knows what im talking about for we have had many discussions on it and i think he feels simular. I dont know if this is the drug, or what but i dunno. I can see the images when im sober now, they dont scare me liek when im high, but they are there. The one thing that i know and i can hang on to is that the images are not of something generic, and unrelated to everything. They are my name, police officer fire fighter and me. All of these were created by people and had influence of others wich means they are just thoughts put into my mind, not something from deeper than that. I dont know i wish i could get rid of them but i dont know. I am quitting doing drugs i think. Atleast for a while, cause right now its a little silly and not as fun as it could be. Does anyone know what could lead to this, ifits bad, or if i just need to take a break and let the thoughts[flashbacks?] disappear. I dont know. And as i said i only have done 2ct7 other times, there might be something related to that specific drug that does it. i dont know. Also i didnt mean for this to be liek a tirp report, and the forum i posted it on is to be questioned but ive had more luck here, and my real question was to be more about what inside of me causes that and stuff.
--tak
-------------------- The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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