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OfflineBlueOrb
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Can I ever trip again?
    #3564780 - 12/31/04 12:00 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I posted in the other forum, but not had a very good response. Maybe you intellectuals can help shed some light on my problem.

I had a very bad trip approx 2 months ago on 60g fresh cubensis. I was filled with terrible feelings of dread, panic, fear and anxiety. If there is a hell, I was certainly there for a while. Seriously, I cant emphasize enough how bad that trip was. Following that experience, I continued to feel fear, and experience fleeting moments of panic. This continued for nearly a month post trip. I feared that I had done some irreversible psychological damage to myself. Eventually, these feelings subsided, and I felt that it was time to get back on the horse (Metaphorically speaking)I consumed a cautious 3g dry, but it wasn't long before those bad feelings began to take hold. I managed to keep a grip on things this time, but it was hard going. I have had so many wonderful times on shrooms in the past, learning many things about myself and spirituality. I hope that there will be more of these experiences to come. However, I can't help but feel that something inside me has changed, and that I will never be able to trip in the same way I used to. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Does tripping have a shelf life? Have I done irreparable damage?
I have a Friend who has had a similar experience, and assures me that something inside has broken and I will never be able to trip again. Is this true?
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated!


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"They are trying to build a prison, for you and me to live in"


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3564853 - 12/31/04 12:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

"Accept the dark, to see the light."
-Period :P
Full stop
:heart: :heart: :heart:


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Edited by Gomp (12/31/04 12:26 PM)


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OfflineDroz
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Gomp]
    #3564887 - 12/31/04 12:35 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

You must spend lots of time focusing on what happened that night on that large dose of mushrooms. You must spend all your time on remembering the pain. Don't do this on mushrooms do it sober. You have to defeat the evil that has entered into your psyche. Sometimes things will enter but are very hard to get rid of.

If i were you i wouldn't trip for a while unless you feel you can remove the evil thoughts or the anxiety while on mushrooms then go ahead. It will be very tough but i think you can pull through. Basically you have taken on too much at one time. Takes lots of times to sort through your memories and remove the disturbing ones.

Peace,
Droz


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Evolution of Time.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Gomp]
    #3564925 - 12/31/04 12:46 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

nothing is broken
build your health and when you return to your psychonautical adventures be respectful to frequency and dosage.
I would take a 3-6 month holiday from shrooms during the health building phase.
nothing is broken
confidence is shattered
bravado is not useful.


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Invisiblejux
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3565428 - 12/31/04 02:52 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Each trip is altered by the trips that proceed it. With this in mind, you will never be able to trip as you used to, for we are never able to ever trip in the same state twice. With time and meditation, it may be possible to enjoy the mushroom experience again, or it may be your time to end your dance with her.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3565607 - 12/31/04 03:50 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

lol you had a bad trip and you want to call it quits? i just cant think that way.

believe it or not ive had about one bad trip to every two good ones. one out of 3 and im in hell. fear, paranoia, despair, shame, guilt, these are the feeligns presented to me. kaleidoscopic images of blood and gore and demon faces and squirting mangeld dicks.

Ive learned to, if not enjoy it, to accept it for what it is. it gets less painfull each time. realize that the mushrooms are not like E or something they have no mandate to make you feel good. they are there to teach you and show you what exists in your own mind, and that includes the whole spectrum. they can show you gorgeous manifestations of your joy, love, your higher capacities, but they will also bring the mountains of supressed shit to the light. this is good, if you lay back and accept what you are being shown it is a great purging experience.

i had one trip where i lay on my back in silence. i could feel the shrooms moving up my body, bringing different aspects of my mind to light, progressively higher ones. that meant i had to grit my teeth and deal with about half an hour or so of mangeld scary shit, but once that was cleaned out i got higher and higher and enterd realms of bliss.

trust the mushrooms, control your set and setting, prepare youself.

only dose again when you feel ready.

a bad trip is like a bad dream, it sucks but you will wake up.


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Everything I post is fiction. This poster is no longer active.


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InvisibleSclorch
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3565933 - 12/31/04 06:18 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Mindset and Setting.

It sounds like your current mindset is not conducive to a fruitful entheogenic experience. I've been there. To repeat others' message: take a break. If things in your life are troubling you or if you're depressed or whatever, then you should step away from entheogens and clear your mind. And if there is nothing in your life that could possibly be provoking such a bad experience, then you might consider permanent abstention.


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Offlineincubaby_421
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Sclorch]
    #3566206 - 12/31/04 07:46 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

i dont believe a "bad trip" in the sense we all refer to it as exists...
you might have an unpleasurable experience, but it was that so you could learn something from it, maybe try and have a more positive and loving outlook on life in general.


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"yet the more i dig, the more i consume, the more i unfold... the less protected i feel.
i am the spit on the hair of the son of an electron, swimming around the nucleus of a cell inside the sperm of a killer bee, and my purpose is as nebulous as why weve been bestowed with the capacity to give a shit" Brandon Boyd



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InvisibleSomaism
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3566344 - 12/31/04 08:26 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Wait 2 years till this day.

The mushroom secret will be waiting.

I grant you the secrets of time, when you are ready for the lesson.

Eat enough that will fill you.

You have eternal blessings.


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OfflineBlueOrb
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Somaism]
    #3567536 - 01/01/05 05:07 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for your advice guys,

The hardest thing for me is that I do not understand why I have had these experiences. Previously, I have been able to experience level 4/level 5 trips and fully enjoy the experience, so what changed. I feel that taking a break from entheogens will help, and as many of you have suggested, and wait for a desire to journey again. I hope that by the spring time I will be ready. A group of us head out over the local park. It becomes a beautiful magical place, and I have had so many blissful experiences there. I wish that I could share them with all of you. This is why I am now almost frustrated with myself, because if I can no longer visit these magical realms in this beautiful place, I feel almost cheated, and its my own fault! I want an answer to this situation, so I can move forward, but it is not clear to me what is happening.

A Friend of mine believes that I need to become more present, and that at this time I am too much in my mind (Past/Future) rather than NOW. He suggests that if I become more present, a bad experience can not exist. He also suggests that my mind is purposely taking over causing these bad feelings in order to stay in control. He says that as my awareness develops, my ego/mind is weakened. Because the ego/mind wants to remain in control, it will attempt to foil any further development of the spirit. The spirit lives in the present. The mind lives in the past or future. Does this make sense to you guys?
Is he right? If he is, then how do I become more present?

Anyway......Until later......


--------------------
"They are trying to build a prison, for you and me to live in"


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Offlinedeff
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3567965 - 01/01/05 12:35 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

sounds like he's on to something :smile:

"how do I become more present?"

meditate :smile:


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3568076 - 01/01/05 01:58 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Well, here is a newsflash for all Entheogen Enthusiasts. Since I am an 'elder' here, it behooves me to point out that the rest of you all are also maturing, and with maturity, you can expect physical changes to occur. My congenital mitral valve prolapse, often called a 'heart murmur,' recently became symptomatic for the first time. My blood pressure went up, anxiety began to develop, heart beat became noticeable, a certain shortness of breath sometimes occurs with the loud heartbeat, even at rest, which in turn has prevented sleep, etc. At first I thought this was all psychological in nature. WRONG!

I am not suggesting that you have the same physiological condition that I have, although it wasn't until I was in my early 30's that an echocardiogram revealed that I had a heart murmur. It never prevented me from tripping, scuba diving, resistance training, sex, hiking, or anything. Now, the increase in blood pressure IS preventing me from taking Entheogens (if you ever take your BP while on mushrooms, not to mention MDMA, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I don't want a stroke).

So, your 'bad trip' may not be due to unresolved conflict. I thought, wrongly, that the unconscious anticipation of my father's death was creating the condition. But then he died and none of the symptoms were present on flight to or during the funeral. Even my primary care physician suggested that it might be psychological in nature. So I took myself to a cardiologist and had a nuclear stress test (normal) and another echocardiogram, and that's when it became apparent that my anxiety was NOT psychological in origin. Just some food for thought.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #3568080 - 01/01/05 01:58 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

""how do I become more present?""

one does not. one is :P


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3568102 - 01/01/05 02:09 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

"I feared that I had done some irreversible psychological damage to myself. "

That is the biggest problem i think most people have deeling with a bad trip. Seen the possibility for insaneness and loss of control and its scary.

You can trip again, just dont take heroic dosages off the bat. Slide into tripping with very spaced out trips of small dosages so you can get the feel for the trips and stuff. Be more comfortable with the feelings.


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This is the only time I really feel alive.


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OfflineMushmonkey
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3568196 - 01/01/05 03:02 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

In my opinion so long as you are still fearful of never being able to enjoy a trip again, so long as you fear you may have 'broken' yourself, your trips probably won't be pleasant.

Bad trips happen.  You get scared, and that fear takes over.  I haven't tripped for quite a while because of that very reason -- I had several bad experiences in a row, and decided that it's just no longer a good time to trip.
In my case, I believe the original bad trip was caused by external factors I had been fretting over for a good while that bubbled up to the surface during the trip, though I wasn't actually thinking about them.  Long story short, let's call it a less than ideal living situation and a lot of stress caused by that, plus a bunch of LSD and an entire night alone.. I just got stuck in all that stress and had no way to relieve myself of it (#1 reason I don't like tripping alone.  With someone else there, it's a lot easier to laugh and keep things light-hearted).
My next few trips (mushrooms) also were stressful.  Less so, but those unpleasant elements returned.  The day-to-day stress was also still there, as well. 
Now, that's all gone, and I'm feeling like it'd be fun as hell to trip again.  Might it turn ugly?  Sure..  but I'm not going to go INTO the trip even thinking it quietly behind my back.
That's the tricky part.. going into a trip expecting something bad, you probably will wind up with something bad.  You can tell yourself you're not expecting something bad to happen, but you may just be lying to yourself.. easy to do.

And, of course, as Markos said..  it might actually be the result of some physical problem causing undue stress to your body while you're tripping.  I'm not sure of your age or physical condition, though.. but just be aware of the possibility. 

Best thing to do for now, though, would be just to give it a rest for a while, and stop worrying about it.  Maybe take a look at your life and see if there might be some problems that you've been worrying about, or some uncomfortable or stressful situations, or some other source of unhapiness.. try to clear that up while you're taking a break from tripping, and that might also help.  And even if it doesn't help with your next trip, at least you would've solved some other problems in your life :wink:  and that would turn your negative experience into a positive.. for though it was awful, if it affects a positive change to your life, it's no longer a horrible thing.. bad trip, sure, scary, but not without a purpose.


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i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Mushmonkey]
    #3568285 - 01/01/05 04:01 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

just start earlier in the day. so the surroundings energies are less tense.

and you. keep in mind, it is yourself you are afraid of,

to fond your true self, you HAVE to burn out those fake suckers, the fakes of yourself, is what keeps the bad gates open :p when time is good, we shall omens the most divine of profits. :P


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Gomp]
    #3568288 - 01/01/05 04:02 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

"you can not ever do, what you have not already, must have done.."
-unknown :P


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Edited by Gomp (01/01/05 04:03 PM)


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Offlinefranco_on
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: Gomp]
    #3570049 - 01/02/05 04:46 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I cannot say I have had a bad trip on shrooms, mainly due to not having been using them for long or that many times. My problem with bad trips was with weed. I use to smoke daily. I loved it, well who does not, weed is a great daily drug. After a time I no long got into my happy place. I would get into low lows during a trip, and would have anxiety before smoking. A few friends related to me that I should examine myself, my life, what I was thinking, and ultimately take a break. I stopped for a time, and dramatically cut back in usage when I returned. I generally do not have bad trips now. I cannot not say that I am not worried about them or that I trip the same. Then again I cannot say I trip like I did during adolescents then either.

It is a time and place thing in ones life I find. You may have grown out of it. Could it have been just a thing you did in your youth that you may have grown out of? Think of other things in all aspects of your life that you use to do at the time. Do you find you still do them?

I would not be worried about further trips being bad. As stated by others you may just be having bad trips because you worry about it. Just use the shrooms when the time feels right, and I think all will be well. Do not think about taking them, just enjoy them, and if it does not feel like the right time then pass.

Again I am relating from my personal experiences with weed, which is no where near shrooms on experience or high. Then again I use to use them for my own personal exploration. Take my advice as you see fit.

Have a safe journey through life,
Chef


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Offlinetrinity7
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Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: franco_on]
    #3570620 - 01/02/05 12:12 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

How to become more present ?
I found some useful hints in a book called `The Power of Now` by Eckehart Tolle. Good read and very helpful indeed.

When it comes to so called bad trips, I also think it all can be useful if you let them teach you.
In other words, don`t try to avoid being scared, but instead just be scared and see what happens. All of that done sober, of course.
You will know when you`ve received the message whatever the message might be. After that, I?d say it`s O.K. to trip again.

BTW, there`s a quote by Nietzsche about how you have to dig deep first before you can soar high.
And one more quote (by me): Everything is just fine. There are no mistakes. :heart:


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Anonymous

Re: Can I ever trip again? [Re: BlueOrb]
    #3570910 - 01/02/05 02:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Apparently you've lodged an emotional fear-based response to the shroom experience in your mind due to the bad trip. This will keep recurring until you either work pro-actively to calm the anxiety and trauma from that experience, or passively wait for your mental balance to come back into place, which may or may not happen naturally, depending on your mental attitude.

You may have also severely disrupted your energy rhythms (through your chakras), and this can take up to several months to balance out again. Meditate, get rid of as much stress as possible, and intend for your energy body to regain proper balance in order to speed up this process.

Please do yourself a favor and do not trip again until you feel readjusted and the anxiety is gone. Tripping again to "fix" this type of thing almost never works. As long as you still have a conscious memory of how the bad trip "felt" you are in danger of bringing up those feelings again. Use this as an indicator of when it's safe once more to trip. If you can't remember what the bad trip felt like, it's well to dose again, if you still feel the need to.


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