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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun
    #3530176 - 12/22/04 02:27 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

im drunk right now, and i had the idea that i would be happy if i died right now. i have coldplay, daylight, repeating on my sound system, just wishing that i understood aqll of this. life, existing, concouisness. why am i here why am i here, am i supposed to make an impact on this workd, am i suiposed to make a difference? should i try and help the world. or attempt to enjoy my own existance.
does it matter if i die? will anyone care.
does it matter if we all die? what is the significance of life and conciousnenss?
i wish i could undesrstand..., one thing is for sure, and its that its a good thing that i dont have a gun, beacuse it might just paint my brains upom the plaster walls.


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PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Offlinejoe666
The ReverendToke DBK
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Registered: 09/13/01
Posts: 19,986
Loc: Southern by grace of God Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530183 - 12/22/04 02:30 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

you'd give guns a bad name if you used them that way







also, take that song off
put on some upbeat music
smoke a bowl
and remember you have a family and friends that love you
and not to mention the hurt i'd cause them to lose you


--------------------
"A politician is like a baby's diaper, it should be changed often and for the same reason"-Coy Turner Sr.

"what is a weed, a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered"--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I'm sippin Hennessy, riding on my muthafucking enemies" -Meek Mill.



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Offlinenotapillow
I want to be a fisherman
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Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,116
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530186 - 12/22/04 02:30 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

uh
jesus...
dude dont worry about that
and yes it is good you dont have a gun

also put dat bottle down :wink:


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OfflineMrBump
Third prize is you're fired
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Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,254
Loc: Where Art Meets Crime
Last seen: 4 years, 30 days
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530190 - 12/22/04 02:33 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

The Meaning of Life (link)

peruse this, i found it pretty enlightening,


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If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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Offlinenotapillow
I want to be a fisherman
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Posts: 31,116
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Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: MrBump]
    #3530212 - 12/22/04 02:42 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

you should post this in the support forum


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OfflineMrBump
Third prize is you're fired
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Posts: 4,254
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Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: notapillow]
    #3530225 - 12/22/04 02:49 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

yeah, maybe i should. someone sent me this link a while ago when shit just wasnt going my way.

it opened my mind up a little.


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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Offlinenotapillow
I want to be a fisherman
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Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,116
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: MrBump]
    #3530226 - 12/22/04 02:50 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

feel better zippoz
you will be in my thoughts
it does get better , trust me :smile:


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
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Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530228 - 12/22/04 02:51 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Before you jump... tie a string.

It doEs matter. Your will is potential cause for effect. That matters.


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: Adamist]
    #3530243 - 12/22/04 02:57 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

as for suicide i have only tried to kill myself (seriously) once, and i was in a wilderness camp / rehab when i was 17 the flint rock i was trying to cut my wrists with in the shower wasn't sharp enough.

i just hate this whole thing. life. i wonder sometimes if what we consider our lives is purgatory, as we wonder without any purpose filled with fear and delusion as to why we are here. and other times i wonder if this is heaven where we can have free will (or so it seams). nothing Reilly had ever made sense.
I'm afraid of so many things death and life. the experience just eats me alive some days. i just don't understand the point of it all.....

when i think about why i feel this way i think of one thing, love. i am 21 now and i have never been in a serious relationship with anyone. i am a virgin, and i just feel that i am lacking a connection with another person in life. its lonely and sometimes i think that the only good thing in life is a meaningful connection with someone else in life. other times i think that this i just another dilusion i have and that there is no point in connecting emotionally of physically to anyone else.

in the room next to me are 2 of my roomates, one that i have known for years, and 2 of my bettter friends up her. i cant even try and talk to them about this. i dont think that they will underatand.

i just talked to one of my friends back home.... one of the few people i can actually call at 2 am and talk to about life, and its conditions and its futility, i cant explain why or how but after talking to her i feel alot better about this whole thing, I'm not out of it though perhaps when i awake i will feel better, I'm just glad i had someone that actually cares to talk to.





not that you people here don't care, you mean alot to me. but a voice on the other end of a phone, someone i have known for some time means alot more to me than text on a screen.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


Edited by zippoz (12/22/04 03:10 AM)


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
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Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530260 - 12/22/04 03:09 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

That sucks man. Why don't you try to meet someone who shares similar interests with you? I'm sure they exist SOMEwhere, if you look.


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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OfflineDF2K
Me.
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Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 5,826
Loc: The land before time
Last seen: 3 years, 30 days
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530277 - 12/22/04 03:20 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

zippoz said:

not that you people here don't care, you mean alot to me. but a voice on the other end of a phone, someone i have known for some time means alot more to me than text on a screen.




of course it does, thats because its *real* tangable, you know the person, and know they care for you, while text on a creen (while may convay the same emotion) is just that ...text on a screen


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
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Last seen: 2 months, 24 days
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: DF2K]
    #3530559 - 12/22/04 07:09 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

zippoz!! :hug:
You know how to reach me...I'm here for you.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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InvisibleAdom
Totally Nude
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Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 10,875
Loc: Way Up North
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: ZippoZ]
    #3530567 - 12/22/04 07:20 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Get some freaking help already. You sound like you need it, your posting makes me depressed.


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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 10 months, 17 days
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: Adom]
    #3530586 - 12/22/04 07:50 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Man if I had a gun I would shoot my drunk ass roommate and his stupid ass coworkers who are keeping me up. For 2 and a half hours those drunk ass fucks have been keeping me up and I would gladly shoot them all for a few hours quiet.

Fucking assholes.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"


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InvisibleHendostan
Male

Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,441
Re: these are the moments i am glad i do not own a gun [Re: tomk]
    #3530761 - 12/22/04 09:05 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

you talk as if 21 is old. you've got plenty of time man! i am also 21, and granted i'm not a virgin, but i still feel like a little kid half the time. i have no idea what i'm doing, why i'm here, or where i'm going. all i know is that there is the potential in me to make this life mean something. there's no need to be worrying about the futility of life, just get out there and enjoy the beauty of it. whether there is a meaning or point to it or not, what difference does it make? we are still capable of the same experiences either way. i think the answers (or lack of) will come with age and wisdom. right now, change your music, spark a bowl, and go out and start talking to girls. read more books, write more poetry, and pick more flowers. try to watch a sunset or sunrise at least once a week. and always spread kindness to others..if you put in love, love is what you will get back..peace bro, if you want to talk to someone PM me, i have been in your situation and it's impossible to come out of if you don't have people to talk to. good luck man  :sun:


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