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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Why help others?
    #3525689 - 12/20/04 11:28 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

So I've been a long time lurker in the S&P forum, part of me is too intimidated to participate in most threads, but here it goes.

I'd like to kick off a small discussion about why people help others? In your opinions, do people help others for personal gain, because they're self righteous, or because of something more positive? By helping others I'm referring to any way that can generally improve the quality of their life of immediate emotional state, and without much personal gain.

I suppose that I'd be lying if part of me didn't pity the fool who stands around and looks miserable. At the same time I know that I have it in myself to assist a stranger or friend with relative ease. Why wouldn't I help someone if I have the capability? Understandibly it wouldn't be unheard of to walk away from the situation if it weren't within my boundaries, something like a money situation or personal matter. Although when I come across someone who's down and out, I have an urge to try to assist them without meddling in their affairs or coming off as some sort of freak.

Blah, I know I should have a little more confidence in myself right now but I don't think many people will respond. This is just a stoned rambling, it's been on my mind for a while and I wouldn't mind hearing at least a response of two. I hope someone can post their thoughts about the subject or some relating matter.

And by the way, I think that this is a great forum. Though I'd be lying if I said that I'm a little disappointed with the way some of the members have been acting around here lately. Rather than debate things, people strait up RIP at other people. What gives? I'd think that most people here would have pride to take part in such a tight online community, take a step back and look at the way you people are handling situations lately. It seems a little hypocritical, this place is here to share information and better ourselves and others, no? This remark's meant to be taken lightly and I don't have enough time to keep track of everything that goes on in here, there's a lot to read and little time for myself to post. Yup, I'm a wuss. :tongue:


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis (Retired)
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3525704 - 12/20/04 11:31 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

hmm. well i think basically people help others when they think its right, and doing things they think are right makes them feel good. however it has to be easy enough to do that the reward of feeling good about it outwieghs the effort it takes.

this is why people will often gladly give a bum a handfull of change but rarely phone the number and adopt an african starving child or whatever.

people like mother teresa are just compassion junkies. theyve hardwired there brains in such a way they become addicted to helping, either from the fix they get from serving god or the suffering it causes them seeing people in need.


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InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3525714 - 12/20/04 11:33 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

We help others because we are all united in this cosmic blanket. Push others down, and you too will get pulled down. Help others to reach the balance around it, and you too will be balanced


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Registered: 08/21/04
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3525723 - 12/20/04 11:35 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

  I help people, because by nature i'm extremely compassionate and understanding. I've also been through a lot shit in my life, and seen a lot of suffering. I have a hatred of pain, suffering and hate (a hatred of hate  :lol:) There's a whole lot of shit that i've had to get through myself, and while I have an extremely loving and understanding family as well as great friends, all of whom were/are there for me when needed, there were some really shitty times that I went through with no one to take care of me, so.......knowing that feeling alone esp. during really bad times is horrible, I don't want anyone to go through that, so I do what I can to help them, whether I know/like them or not.  :laugh:


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Edited by Dark_Star (12/20/04 11:38 PM)


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Why help others? [Re: Ravus]
    #3525726 - 12/20/04 11:36 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

yeah from a philosophical point of view i help others because i intellectually believe we are all one, and if thats true helping others is helping yourself. if you can love others enough to help them you love yourself kind of thing.

but that still boils down to me doing what i think is in my best interests, it just expands the definition of 'me' to the whole world, kind of thing


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: Why help others? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3525739 - 12/20/04 11:40 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

  "we are all one"  Exactly!  :thumbup:


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
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Re: Why help others? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3525753 - 12/20/04 11:43 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Lets say that someone helps others throughout their whole life, and when they're old they continue to do so. Do you think that it'd still be because it still plucks their heart strings, or is it because they've become accustomed to the satisfaction they get when they know they're 'helping' someone?
I guess that'd make them a bit of a bastard, but at the same time who's to judge what's right and wrong in this situation. Further more, would it even be such a bad thing to help someone out only to make yourself feel better, even though you're truely lending a hand?

I'm ready hear what others think about this in general. Time to roll a joint and see if anything flourishes.


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleRavus
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3525775 - 12/20/04 11:47 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

If you think about it, "feeling better" from helping others wouldn't seem to be a natural thing, unless instinct and human nature had evolved to have us feel good when we help others. The feeling is secondary, but its evolution that made us help each other, feel sympathy and try to better life as a whole.

Evolution has gotten us humans this far. There must be something more to love and helping others than feeling good, then.


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3525804 - 12/20/04 11:52 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

"would it even be such a bad thing to help someone out only to make yourself feel better, even though you're truely lending a hand?"

i would tend to think that in this case, since the end result is positive the motive isnt important.


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
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Re: Why help others? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3525998 - 12/21/04 12:41 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Unity - I love it. Especially after reading so many threads and books about a holographic universe, the idea that helping another reverberating back to you is something that really intrigues me.

Motives and perspective was what I was getting at. Not entirely sure where I was getting at, but I was certainly poking my nose in that direction. Cools beans. Being a hypothetical situation and all I'm not taking it too seriously, but if that were the case then I'd hope that negativity in the form of greed would not rub off on anyone else. That's something we could surely use less of eh

*edit*
On a personal note, right after I posted this thread, I gave you a rating, moonshoe. lol it was kinda trippy because you posted in my thread immediately after, things just work like that. Peace out :smirk:


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3526103 - 12/21/04 01:11 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

"do people help people for personal gain?"

I would say yes for the most part. Perhaps a more important question is, is the other person receiving "gain", and is the "gain" in the best interest of the other person?

As an example, let's assume your mom gives you money because she loves you and it makes her feel good. But, you go out and buy dope and beer with the money. Would it have been better for her not to give you the money, but instead ground you?


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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OfflineMrBump
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3526131 - 12/21/04 01:20 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

pity
compassion
karma
religious belief/reward
builds the ego a little too, think.

love or friendship. ithink most people subscribe to the "charity begins at home" belief.
i'd preferably help a friend over a stranger anyday.


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If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Registered: 07/07/04
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3526231 - 12/21/04 01:45 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

browndustin said:
part of me is too intimidated to participate in most threads


Then leave. You have *NO* place in this forum.

















.


.


.


.


.

Quote:

browndustin said:
So I've been a long time lurker in the S&P forum, [...] here it goes.


Welcome! :sun: That part of you that hesitates is your ego. It has no place here. But the real you will fit right in! :smile:

That intense rush you felt when you read my unkind welcome was your ego in a panic. Accept this feeling. Embrace it. Realize the warmth of it, the bliss. Try to recreate it, but this time greet it with a warm welcome. It's the feeling of your ego dissolving?unpleasing to your ego, but extremely pleasing to your true, inner self. :yesnod:

Sometimes people help others for personal gain. These people are driven by their egos and only act for its benefit. Their egos have been imprinted with a tunnel reality stating that helping others is "good" and makes you "good", too. Although their actions may be helpful, their motivations are unsound and will necessarily, to some extent, rub off on their actions. Ego stroking is what it really is.

Other people, more spiritually minded and awakened and less egoic, help people selflessly. Spiritual development involves transcending your ego and not letting it control your actions. Such people are immune to the temptations of ego stroking. Also, their egos dissolved, they understand the concept of unity, that they are one with the universe and all life?human beings included?within it.

Instead of rejecting others through fear as being seperate from them, awakened individuals embrace others through love as being one with them. They surrender their individual egoic desires to the greater universal good and act selflessly. Compassion arises naturally in this state and helpful actions follow. We're all one big loving family?how can I not sincerely wish to help?

Quote:

browndustin said:
I know I should have a little more confidence in myself


You're getting it already. Or rather, you've got it. :yesnod:

Quote:

browndustin said:
Yup, I'm a wuss.


Wuss! Wuss! (you know who I'm talking to)

Quote:

browndustin said:
This is just a stoned rambling


It's an intelligent, well thought out, and heartfelt post. You'll fit right in here. :smile:


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3526353 - 12/21/04 02:34 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Altruism or indirect selfishness?
We may never know for sure.

Either way... if you're doing something good, it definitely counts in my book.


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineMushmonkey
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3526541 - 12/21/04 04:29 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

well..  many reasons.. i find a bit of selfishness in most such acts, just to forewarn :wink:

you may believe helping another will improve or better yourself.  be it a returned favor from the person, recognition for a charitable act, or some other reward (karma, heaven, etc)

it may be out of pity, or out of self-recognition ("i've been there, i wish someone had helped me")

..  thinking i should've saved this till after i slept, i just nodded off.  hrm.

we're social creatures.. not social on as large of a scale as we now live, however.  basically..  the people you're closest to, your 'family' (family, very close friends, basically people you'd do about anything for and could expect the same in return) -- those people, it is in your best interests to help as much as possible.. because they in turn help you.  go back several thousand years when we were all hairy and living in small groups, and it makes a whole lot of sense.  Throw something at that bear to distract it so Jimmy gets away, and next time he can do the same for you.  Don't save Jimmy, and you're on tomorrow's menu.  share your food with Billy so he doesn't starve, and Billy's still around tomorrow to help find food and defend against predators and aggressors.  a bit of an instinctual group-survival dealy.


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i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.


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Invisibleuriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Male User Gallery Arcade Champion: Cat-a-pult, Pingu Slap

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Re: Why help others? [Re: Mushmonkey]
    #3526565 - 12/21/04 04:51 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

i think those shown compassion throughout life are more prone to show others compasssion. that's why (in most cases) money wealth fame fortune etc... is the root of evil. ~if youve always had enough $$ and "stuff" you probably didnt get shown much compassion, because ..shit! u got everything you want! what do ya want from me? so rich kids grow older beleiving that money and "personal gain" is the key....when really, "blessed are the poor, for they shall inherit the kingdom heaven." i was raised in the ghetto for 3/4 of my life( ghetto=trailer park) so ive not had much of anything,except when others showed mercy and HELPED my family out. w/o expecting anything in return. ~so now that im a baller (baller= not poor) i do what i can for others in need.

but dont go neglecting ur responsiblities either. and dont let people use you as a door mat.

so my answer is....not enough give out of love...and less do every generation..which will be our demise.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE whats so fuckin important in YOUR LIFE that you cant spare a buck or two, or give an hour of your time to help another???? and be glad to help! and say that's my reward! feels good to be of some help to another less fortunate. selah.


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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
       



     
Hotter than the left sink handle.


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
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Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Why help others? [Re: uriahchase]
    #3528324 - 12/21/04 05:38 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for the encouragement, phoenix. One of the big things that pushed me to actually partake in this forum, is when swami stated something along the lines of this forum being here for people to debate and discuss things. He was defending something, I forget what, and basically said that if someone can come here and say their piece without contradicting themselves, then that's what it's all about.
I'll do my best to say what I need to, and I'm willing to accept others opinions, that's why I'm posting. I don't know everything, actually far from that. And I'm willing to shed my ego and losing up my opinions and accept others, otherwise I'll never learn a damn thing.

Getting a little more on topic, I came from a rather colourful background for lack of better words. Good times and bad times, but in the end I learned so much. It's not strenuous to be a compassionate person, and if it does, then something's wrong. If I'm too concerned with the 'quality' of my life and I can't afford to spend a little time to help out others, then it just makes things sour. I can't just not help people out, I've already been doing it and I can't stop now that I've seen what it's like. It's rewarding deep down, but not in material sort of way. Money and greed can't give you that sort of funky vibe. :sun:


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleCosm
Questioning
Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 448
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Re: Why help others? [Re: browndustin]
    #3528363 - 12/21/04 05:52 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I agree with Ravus.Ive come to believe in the saying What you send out comes back.If you hurt someone you're only hurting yourself, if you help someone then you are helping yourself.It might take some time but eventually your good deeds will come back.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Why help others? [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3528377 - 12/21/04 05:56 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

"But, you go out and buy dope and beer with the money. Would it have been better for her not to give you the money, but instead ground you? "

hell no. thats how i got drunk and stoned for a whole year of my life


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Everything I post is fiction. This poster is no longer active.


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