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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions...
    #3502738 - 12/15/04 09:49 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Hey all... I am looking for a book recommendation.

(Mods, please leave this here, I think this sort of information will be best extracted from the residents of this board than another.)

Anyhow... I am looking for a book that would be appropriate for someone who does not realize that their emotional state does not have to be dictated by outside stimuli. More specifically, I am looking for a book that would help someone to realize that THEY are the creator of their emotional state. Like... that others' words do not create their emotional state, but that their reaction to those words is what creates the emotional state.

The idea is to essentially illustrate the idea that other people are not responsible for your emotional state of mind.

Swami would probably have the best book recommendations for this subject, ironically.. haha. (Swami, if you're reading, email me some recommendations! - telepathic_comebacks*NOSPAM*@yahoo.com)

Furthermore, the best route would be a subliminal route (ie, a "story" that examplifies this method of thinking as opposed to an obvious "self help" book.)

Help me out people... :smile:


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OfflinePedM
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3502760 - 12/15/04 10:01 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

The Art of Happiness - The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler M.D.

This book is about learning skills to take control of our own experience, to realize that life is ten percent what we endure and ninty percent how we handle what we endure (pardon the cliche). There is a lot of emphasis on the huge part we play in generating our own experience.

It's a transcript of a series of discussions between the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler. They discuss the human condition in a Western context from a Tibetan perspective. Howard C. Cutler formatted the book to resemble a self-help book, but it is not set up to suggest "here, this is how you should behave." The dialog speaks for itself. It's a fantastic, eye-opening read.

That's about all I can come up with right now. If I think of another book of course I'll come post again.


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: Ped]
    #3502802 - 12/15/04 10:17 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Thank you ped, I will look into that one...

The reason I'm trying to avoid a book that "seems like a self-help book" is that it's for my sister... and she jumps on the defensive very easily... don't want to implicate the idea that I am trying to change her... even though I guess I am.. heh. :smile:


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OfflinePedM
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3502882 - 12/15/04 11:00 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Well, you could try just being honest with her. Say something like "Hey sis, I read this book last week and I thought it was really amazing. I thought you might want to have a look at it too." As long as she knows that you love her and have her best interests in mind, she shouldn't have any reason to be guarded about something you recommend to her.


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: Ped]
    #3502891 - 12/15/04 11:11 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

She is more of a can of worms than you might assume. I don't think she does fully believe that I always have her best intentions in mind. The subject comes about as a result of her emotional overreaction to my own words of advice, so it's quite a catch 22 of sorts.


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Invisiblechunder
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3502918 - 12/15/04 11:29 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

The Journey of a Reluctant Messiah seems to convey that message on many levels, perhaps that would be a good one! ; )


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: chunder]
    #3502935 - 12/15/04 11:35 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Haha.. perhaps. Are you referring to Illusions? :smile: if so, what did you think of it?


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3502951 - 12/15/04 11:46 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

If discreetness is a key criterion in the overall presentation within the book, then it seems that the best route could be books that exemplify the principles [of which would benefit your sister and such] in other spiritual practices, or religions as I hesitate to say. But moreso, towards more foreign, thus, perhaps, more interesting spiritual practices - like Ped's great suggestion by the Dalai Lama.
Now, I couldn't come this far in suggesting the area in which to select books filled with much-needed wisdom without even recommending a book from that area, of course.. So the book I have in mind is:
Open Heart, Clear Mind. By Thubten Chodron, a Buddhist nun.
This book is a very clearly written, well-understood book that clears up ALL the mystifying mist of Buddhism, with all the basic principles explained and so forth.
So instead of dumping a book, from capitalist american psychologists trying to TELL her how to behave, you'd be giving her a book from a Buddhist lady who gently takes her on a tour into a religion of no-religion, the wisdom-saturated Buddhist principles of living Life...
Ped, you'd like this book too - if you haven't already read it.

Other than that: The Power of NOW is a great book, but far from discreetness that you seek. Who knows, maybe she'll read it anyway - sooner or later.



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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineSprings
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3502969 - 12/15/04 11:58 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Check out the new movie(may or may not be on DVD yet) "What the #$*! Do We Know?" Easier than a book made for beginers :wink:

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040910/REVIEWS/409100306/1023

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399877/


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3503022 - 12/15/04 12:24 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Thank you skorp, I will check that one out too. :smile:


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3505913 - 12/15/04 09:44 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

tons of great suggestions!!

of course

the handbook to higher consciousness by ken keyes.


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Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3507310 - 12/16/04 03:02 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Does she smoke weed? If so, get her to watch Waking Life with you. Just say it's an interesting movie, which it is. Or watch Shaolin soccer, and make sure she analyzes the characters. If you're going for discreet, I'd say a movie of some kind is your best bet.


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: the_phoenix]
    #3507679 - 12/16/04 08:46 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

No, she doesn't smoke anymore.. she used to, but she just "freaks out and gets really paranoid" when she smokes now.

And I think she is more book oriented.. I don't think a movie would "get through to her".. she would probably just say "that was weird." after.

She's very materialistic and has some very warped perspectives on life... I think a movie like Waking Life would be a bit too literal and in her face, to be honest. Too easy to write off as "a bunch of drug talk" or similar.

Thanks for the advice anyway.

Andrew: I would give her that, but I haven't read it yet... someone was supposed to send me a copy, so I never bought one. Alas, it never arrived. :wink:


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Re: Need a book recommendation on the subject of responsibility for one's own emotions... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3508237 - 12/16/04 12:24 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Hmmm, in that case, you might give White Noise a try.


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