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Offlinelikeclockwork
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i need answers.... - afraid of the dark...
    #3498692 - 12/14/04 07:08 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

hi, i started doin' shrooms about 2 months ago - someone gave them to me as a gift and left me the simple words "just don't look behind you"... whatever that meant, it was true, because the hotel i was staying at that night left me feeling a very dark, haunted connection that actually had me fighting my friends to not go down different hallways, to avoid certain areas. i recall a stairwell in which i felt very cold and creepy and i felt like something horrible had happened there. doors would click as i walked by them in the halls, i could hear voices whispering to me from the other side of these doors, and when i laid my head down to rest that night, vivid screams and other sounds haunted me and kept me awake.

since then, i've tripped 6 or 7 more times, because come to find out, the pasture that i live on tends to grow the most potent shrooms, because of the feed they give to premium cattle for steaks, etc. on my different trips, i have discovered many things, but as i grew closer to my comfort of actually doing them without much paranoia or fear, i began to notice that a very dominating and strict fear of the dark had entered my psyche. to the point where i'd reach my hand into the dark bathroom to turn on the light before i'd even LOOK in there. in the dark, i would see faces of evil, women being raped, pornography morphing in the woodwork... the same occured with my eyes closed... even to the point of everytime i would blink, i'd see the same evil face.

i am a musician and i recall during one of these "bad trips" that i thought playing guitar and doing things i loved would somehow scare this fear away. almost as if every note i played was like a cannon towards my fear - and it worked, while playing and writing and basically just jamming the fuck out, i was able to stable my fear temporarily. interesting. funny thing is that even after my trips were over, i began to feel that i was uncomfortable with the dark even when i WASN'T tripping. i had never had a real fear of the dark before EVER in my life.

since then, i've noticed that when im lying in bed (in the dark), i keep coming up with all these great lyrical ideas, right? even not on shrooms, they just keep coming - well, like anyone would have to, to write these ideas down, i'd of course have to turn on the light, right?? well, this is where i made my realization - i couldn't come up with these great lyrics with this light on !!! so, i'd turn the light off, relax, and eventually come up with new ideas, turn on the light again, write them down, and kept going in that cycle. well. one night it came to me..

it's like the light and the dark somehow work together. one can't exist without the other. i think there are things in this dark 'portal' that inspire me, but on the other hand, i simply can't see to write them down without the light. so my fear of the dark after that simply became STUPID. why should i hide from the dark when there are things to be discovered there???? JUST LIKE IN THE LIGHT.

so, needless to say my fear of the dark was demolished, and now i actually venture into the dark MORE. my curiousity leaves me amazed still at the things i am finding there, and now i have grown to appreciate the light more, as well.

i want to trip during the day now, which i have yet to do.

question! has anyone had any feelings like this on shrooms? any feelings of connections to spirits or evil forces? some people i have talked to say that i may be discovering an intuitive side of myself that i have never seen before, but since im not very experienced yet, it could be something that happens frequently. im just curious now.


Edited by likeclockwork (12/14/04 07:11 PM)


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: i need answers.... - afraid of the dark... [Re: likeclockwork]
    #3498796 - 12/14/04 07:21 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

The person who said 'Don't look behind you' is an idiot and was just trying to scare you, and by the looks of it he succeeded. I bet if he hadnt said those words you would have went on to have a brilliant trip.

I did have a feeling of being trapped for all eternity once when I was tripping round my friends house. He was tripping too and was too far 'gone' to open the back door. I actually passed out because my mind couldnt comprehend being trapped in a small room FOR EVER.

I don't know why, but I prefer tripping in the dark because everything just seems so much better and it's nice to know the people I care about are all safe and warm in bed asleep, whilst i'm still up and about. I have only had one 'bad' trip and I had no bad visuals just feelings of fear and paranoia. My parents were away and I kept thinking that they were going to have an accident and never come back. I kept thinking 'I can't handle my parents dying while i'm like this. I need to get back to reality.' Which of course made things worse because I started to worry about never being 'sane' again.

Lo and behold I came on the shroomery and people on the forums helped me to get out of the bad trip. So if you are having a bad trip log on to the shroomery and help is waiting for you :thumbup:


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Offlinelikeclockwork
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Re: i need answers.... - afraid of the dark... [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #3498827 - 12/14/04 07:25 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

yeah man good advice. its cool, though, i still haven't felt i have had a "bad trip" - even my first one was amazing. i was happy and laughing the entire time!


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: i need answers.... - afraid of the dark... [Re: likeclockwork]
    #3498920 - 12/14/04 07:36 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Well if you have learned something from a trip then its never a 'bad' trip!


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OfflineDigs
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Re: i need answers.... - afraid of the dark... [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #3499357 - 12/14/04 08:40 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Well, "don't look behind you" could have definately meant something more than don't look behind you or you'll see scary shit. As in, don't look behind you when you open yourself up to this 'new' reality etc etc. To label him as an idiot on just these few words with no context is pretty rash imo.

As to the original question, I've seen some pretty fucked up shit on various mind altering substances, but I don't let it bring me into a scared cycle, that shit's interesting as hell!


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OfflineThe_Surrealist
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Re: i need answers.... - afraid of the dark... [Re: Digs]
    #3500785 - 12/14/04 11:50 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

One of the best ways to alleviate your fear of the dark is to simply face it. Force yourself to run around your house at night with all the lights off or something to that extent. Worked marvels when I was little.


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OfflineToricious
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Re: i need answers.... - afraid of the dark... [Re: The_Surrealist]
    #3501207 - 12/15/04 01:13 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I dunno - i've always been afraid of the dark until a year ago - reading that sort of made it come back - i've always been sensitive to certain things - what if I was afraid because there really was something out there...


--------------------
"There's a guy in my apple!"

"Jerk off on weed man, that's where it's at... " -Anjaba


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