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 sre2f
Stranger
Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 43
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
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 I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. 
#3497934 - 12/14/04 03:15 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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New outlook on life after tripping...
Let me give a little background first. Until about 1.5 years ago I use to be a rightwing conservative bible thumping super christian. I had been like this for 10 years. After thorougly (sp?) reading the bible numerous times, I decided that I had basically wasted the past 10 years of my life on the worst fiction novel (i use that term usely).
Now fast forward to when I tried shrooms about 3 months ago. Like I said before, it was the worst thing in my life, but also the greatest thing in my life. It opened my eyes and I found what life was about (for me anyway), the meaning of life parse...and that the meaning of life is that it has no meaning. And that is that as humans, as a soul, whatever, we are meaningless.
It was a major shock to me. Becaues even though I had let go of christianity, I had not let go of the the signifigance of life that christianity had taught me / lied to me. (I wish I could explain this more, but I am sure you guys know what I mean.)
It is just so hard for me to cope with going from being so important to being nothing.
I find that this is all I think about. I can barely function as a usefull person. All I think about is life and the lack of.
I wish for my days of blissful ignorance.
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....and that was when I knew it would be a bad trip, the bed was tieing me to the bed and my shirt started to eat me..............and just like that it was over, as if nothing had happened.
Edited by sre2f (12/14/04 03:21 PM)
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 Thin White Duke
Stranger
Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 51,530
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498039 - 12/14/04 03:31 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't think you need help. You have just been awakened to the MEANING OF LIFE. Shrooms taught you in one trip what the bible could never teach you.
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zSDMF
Stranger
Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing 
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498054 - 12/14/04 03:33 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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if you were to evaluate your situation, i'd tell you the shrooms only confirmed what you've always believed deep down. sounds like you used christianity as a cover to your true feelings, but that's just how i see it. regardless, now that you've came to this "realization," you just need to accept it for what it is and try to move on. meh, but ignorance is never blissful if 'ya ask me. it might seem blissful, but it never has been in my experiences. crank your favorite tunes, hold on to your partner(be it wife, friend, brother, sister.... whatever you're close too) and just try to chill and figure out exactly what this realization means to you. whatever you do, i'd strongly advise staying away from alcohol and all psychedelics. downers and shit included.. actually, i'd reccomend being stone sober for quite awhile. drug induced altered states of minds really shouldn't be involved in some situations.. yours included IMO. good luck.
if you MUST get high, smoke weed. please.
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mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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 Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: zSDMF]
#3498225 - 12/14/04 04:00 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Everything is nothing...
Polar opposites create each other.
If you feel like we are nothing and meaningless then everything will be that way. It is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Through that anyone anywhere can believe anything they want even if it is totally ludicrous. I will use the example of the woman who thought the earth rested on the back of a huge turtle. If you realize there is nothing but you then you are the most important thing. The meaning that your life had before your shroom trip is the meaning that you chose to instill into it. You can do much the same now, only you can put even more meaning into it, and when you think you reach the end it is only the beginning. In the end what I am saying is you make the choice. For some reason, now you feel like you do because you are making yourself feel that way.
"All I can think about is life and the lack of." What the hell are you talking about, were you not alive when you sat there at the computer and typed that sentence. You are alive now, given the precious gift of life. Don't mope around and feel sorry for yourself, something like seventy perecent of all people do this all the time. Be one of the few happy people who aren't depressed and pissed at everyone and everything.
You need to realize that things are the same from before and after your shroom trip. You have woken up, would you rather be sleeping? Now you have an outlook on life that some never get. They live and die in a cocooon of their own making. You have take the precious first step. Just think of someone that went their entire life and never knew anything like a shroom trip existed.
Oh yeah, and its a one way door. Let it be...Go with the flow...
That is the only advice that can be given.
Read the Psychedelic Experience by Timothy Leary
or that old text the Bible would do...
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No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.
You are everything's way of feeling itself.
Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,169
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: mecreateme]
#3498362 - 12/14/04 04:23 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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after initial awakenning one finds a need to
pursue a path that is more enlightenning.
eventually the monk returns home and participates.
=================================================
the awakenning can go like this:
life is shit, look how impossible it is to get
anything right. everyone around me is insensitive
I am disgusted with what I myself am most of the
time. there is no relief.
how can I escape the certain ruin if I stay here?
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 _  🧠_ 
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498372 - 12/14/04 04:24 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
sre2f said:
and that the meaning of life is that it has no meaning. And that is that as humans, as a soul, whatever, we are meaningless.
Wow, that's interesting.
I too went through a phase where I thought that life and humanity didn't matter.
So what did I do...I kept tripping, looking for that elusive "something," that ungivable answer...
Well, things changed for me. I know without a doubt in my heart that what we do on this planet matters. I know that our existence is not meaningless. That the purpose of life is to live it, a gift to us from God, the Other, the Universal Mind, whatever you want to call it.
Allow me to offer my hypothosis on what you are experiencing right now:
The mushrooms you ingested have uprooted you. They have wiped you clean, a unblemished, empty slate. You have been changed.
You are interpreting this change as "life is meaningless," whereas when I read your post I see an marvelous opportunity to start "building anew."
You have been broken down, dismantled. It is up to you to start teaching yourself again. Life has so much to offer us, and to show us in preperation for what comes after. Use the empty slate the mushrooms have given you to start over. Do your research and learn, learn, learn. Eventually you will realize that what you are experiencing right now is simply a rite of passage unto new understanding and awareness.
Don't give up on life just yet. You may be surprised.  
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headset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498410 - 12/14/04 04:29 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
sre2f said:
so hard for me to cope with going from being so important to being nothing.
As your journey furthur, you will find yourself as being everything. This is where the empowerment begins. its not christianity's place to put meaning in your life, its not your fathers place, its not your schools place, your socities place, or anyone BUT your place to find the significance of life.
Obviously being responsible for your own view point and actions can be troubling. (many of *us* have been there)
You are now at the point of *acceptance of the ultimate* and adjusting your personal reality in accordance. or *trying to forget* and moving on with your meaningless human existance.
Take responsibility, it will enrich your life and those around you. Learning isnt always easy, especially when your meanings on the line.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498433 - 12/14/04 04:31 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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You're not nothing man, just a part of something much, much bigger. You're viewing this as a bad thing, but in fact it's a beautiful thing. Take comfort in the fact that we are all in the same boat, we're all one. Also take comfort that when you die you'll dissolve into the All. Your feelings are normal for someone in your situation, but.....they are just feelings, you can change them anytime you want, all you have to do is accept what happened and go with the flow. Welcome to the world of the attuned! 
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Hendostan
Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,444
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: headset]
#3498514 - 12/14/04 04:41 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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life is full of beauty and meaning   
if you can talk, you can sing..if you can walk, you can dance
celebrate being alive, we don't need to have all the answers 
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headset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: Hendostan]
#3498653 - 12/14/04 05:01 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hendostan said:
we don't need to have all the answers
Searching is more fun than knowing.
Look at the before the after;
Before;
You used to think you knew but you knew nothing.
Now;
You know you know nothing, but you know there's more to know.
Keep asking questions, You'll forever get lost in the mystery if you seek a meaningful existance.
What was spirituality before?
it's a bit different when its experience'd firsthand. More powerful in your lifepath. Let it drive you.
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sre2f
Stranger
Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 43
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498793 - 12/14/04 05:21 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think I shall write a book. I never was into "expressing myself" because frankly, I thought it was a bunch of emo pussy bullshit (thank you christianity..).
I can not believe how much one trip (especially considering how terrible it was) has opened my eyes so much.
I think I shall venture into the "spirit world" again soon. Even though it was terrible, I now know that it was my fault. I think I will do it alone and just meditate..probably only like 1 gram without a sitter.
I think shall entitle my book "Enlightenment: a young mans journey from christianity to nothing"...or something along that lines
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....and that was when I knew it would be a bad trip, the bed was tieing me to the bed and my shirt started to eat me..............and just like that it was over, as if nothing had happened.
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Thin White Duke
Stranger
Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 51,530
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498804 - 12/14/04 05:22 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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urgh emo....
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headset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3498868 - 12/14/04 05:30 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Your life is your book. Start recording.
As you delve deeper you'll find parallels with many people. Every new *poetry/art* book i start paints a furthur deeper picture of my developing beliefs/lifestyle/self
Good luck with the beginning of your journey. Let it never end.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: headset]
#3498902 - 12/14/04 05:34 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well said.
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JaRRn
Lost in Space
Registered: 05/20/04
Posts: 1,155
Loc: Standing on the Cosmic Sh...
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: sre2f]
#3499001 - 12/14/04 05:47 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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headset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt it.. [Re: headset]
#3499186 - 12/14/04 06:19 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
headset said:
Your life is your book.....
you'll find parallels.
http://www.theisnessofnow.com
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dr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,654
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.
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Divided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: dr_gonz]
#3506784 - 12/15/04 10:42 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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sre2f, I can relate pretty strongly. I was a conservative Christian for about 8 years of my life until I found Zen. Although I did not realize it at the time, as I moved away from Christianity I was losing more and more order, purpose, motivation and sense of meaning in my life. I was in a phase of non-commited pop-Buddhism and smoking lots of weed when I came to the same realization. Even though my beliefs were totally different I still assumed I would find some kind of intrinsic meaning, and I found it was not there. That all changed with a mesc trip followed by a frightening weed overload. Before that experience I had been growing into a comfortable and complacent nihilist, after I felt the reality had been ripped apart. I was overcome with the Cosmic Horro, the Void, emptiness, lonliness, everything seemed a charade. It was all pointless, it was just nuerons firing in a brain.
I don't have the time to fully document my ongoing journey out of that mindset but I can tell you since I started practicing Tibetan Buddhism seriously I am in a much better place. I believe Buddhism is one of the only religions/philosphical systems that can address the full truths of reality and still make life rewarding and meaningful.
BTW, if you are interested in a more gentle, healing/meaningful psychadelic I think you might try mescaline (San Pedro, Peruvian Torch). It lasts a long time, but it is easier on your mind than shrooms.
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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."
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sre2f
Stranger
Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 43
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: Divided_Sky]
#3506906 - 12/15/04 11:12 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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I would love to try some mescaline. Just have no idea on how to obtain it.
As far as tibetan Buddhism, it is just another religon to me...
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....and that was when I knew it would be a bad trip, the bed was tieing me to the bed and my shirt started to eat me..............and just like that it was over, as if nothing had happened.
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Divided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: I need help. Shrooms took away my blissfull ignorance. I know the meaning of life and dont likt [Re: sre2f]
#3507120 - 12/15/04 11:59 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Cactus=mescaline
And as for Buddhism, it is not a religion in the sense that Christianity is. It's a very pragmatic approach to life and it doesn't require belief in any mythology. It is simply a method of purifying the mind. A freind of mine who was also in a very similar situation expressed similar things to me, but really Buddhism is not a mythology or a set of beliefs that you will find to be untrue. Of any religion it is the most insightful into the way things really are.
You come from a religion that is based in believing, where everything exists in a shallow conceptual framework. Buddhism is not about buying into any conceptual explantions of the world, you don't even have to believe that Buddha was literaly Enlightened. Rather than being asked to submit and believe, you are learning to see truth for yourself and to be a happier person.
You don't have to believe me, but all I can say is that it IS different. Anyway, I might suggest reading the Tao Te Ching or some Zen literature. You may find them very insightful.
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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."
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