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InvisibleNOS4A2
Sh!tApple

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 510
Loc: notfarfromtheshittree Flag
Guidance please
    #3493465 - 12/13/04 08:47 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I had A really really bad O.D. last october and it scarred me deeply. I had one of those death trips after doing 8 grams or more accidently. Obviously, I realize now mushrooms won't hurt me but that night I HONESTlY believed I was permanantly insane and dealt with the fact that I would be that way till I died and was ashamed of my self and sorry for my family who I would orphan. I swore never again that night.
And now here I'm again contemplating getting back into it again. However, I'm trying to understand why I desire to trip so bad after having such a damaging experience and hurting my wife. She seems OK with it now but I really don't think she likes it.
Is there something wrong with this or is it just me?
Your opinions or experiences welcome. I'm very serious so save the bullshit. thanks.


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Hail to the King, Baby
CulturingTech


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OfflineInnerBeing
Yakuza Boss

Registered: 12/07/04
Posts: 413
Loc: Chinatown
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Guidance please [Re: NOS4A2]
    #3493853 - 12/13/04 09:47 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I have had my overdosing freakout a year ago, but it was on ecstasy. You cannot really overdose on it but, since I was taking antidepressants, I became instantly manic and I was hospitalized for it. I had never had any underlying predisposition towards mania or bipolar depression. I had been taking medication for post traumatic stress disorder.
My wife found out about my stash of fifty pills and so did my entire family. I was pretty well wound up for months aftwards and it took me awhile to feel normal again. I always fear that people look at me differently because of what happened to me, but that is something that I am digging deep to deal with. You have to ask yourself, why are you ashamed if you feel crazy. Why is this a bad thing?
Given my situation, and most likely yours, doing drugs will always be an issue with our loved ones when they have seen as hurt by them. This is something that you have to talk about with your wife, and see if she can understand your need to do these things. If she can't, you may have to do them without her knowledge but keep in mind that if she finds out, then you will lose her trust forever. Take it from me, I have been there, and don't want to repeat it.
Good luck with whatever you decide upon, but I hope that you discuss it with her a little more to see what she thinks. Let us know what she says so that we can help you counter her responses.


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Kiss the ring Bitch!



Edited by InnerBeing (12/13/04 09:49 PM)


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InvisibleNOS4A2
Sh!tApple

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 510
Loc: notfarfromtheshittree Flag
Re: Guidance please [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3493968 - 12/13/04 10:01 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Well, thank you for taking time to answer. I really have spent some time talking to her. She is the most important thing in my life so I don't want to hurt her. However, as I explained to her< I need some way to forget /escape life, I am a very bitter person at times, and I don't like to drink much anymore, and I can't do anything else that gives me the same results and pass drug tests. She smokes mary jane when she wants to relax, but I can't. So I explain it to her in this way and she says she is fine with it but she wants me to let no one know and she wants to go visit her dad while I do it. Which makes me kinda feel guilty about it. I don't know. Some times I think I'm a glutton for punishment. What I really want to do is make it a recreational outlet for myself and learn to be very responsible with taking it so I don't have any accidents like before.
what do you think...


--------------------
Hail to the King, Baby
CulturingTech


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OfflineInnerBeing
Yakuza Boss

Registered: 12/07/04
Posts: 413
Loc: Chinatown
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Guidance please [Re: NOS4A2]
    #3494051 - 12/13/04 10:15 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I am so sorry to hear that. I am going through the same ordeal as you man. I just don't know how to get through to her that this is what I need a few times a year. I am by no means going to repeat what I did last time, and neither are you. I am sure that we were both thoroughly scared after the fact, right? That should be a lesson learned. I think our wives need to forgive us, and extend us this small bit of slack.
Your wife is totally putting you through a guilt trip. I guess more talking needs to be done, but if you cannot agree on a resolution that is satisfactory to you both then something has to be done. The show must go on.


--------------------
Kiss the ring Bitch!



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InvisibleNOS4A2
Sh!tApple

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 510
Loc: notfarfromtheshittree Flag
Re: Guidance please [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3494085 - 12/13/04 10:20 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

good luck to you, and thanks for the chat. Pm me if you have any further thoughts


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Hail to the King, Baby
CulturingTech


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Offlineskullfarmer1979
shamanator
Registered: 05/02/04
Posts: 506
Loc: Bum Fuck, Egypt
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Guidance please [Re: NOS4A2]
    #3496710 - 12/14/04 01:08 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

i also had an od on shrooms.during the od all of my external senses stopped and it became an internal DNA rollercoaster all the way back to the beginning of time.it was pure fear to the highest power and i also thought i had lost my mind and would never be the same.
now,4 years later i am not the same.that moment changed my life completly. mentally i'm alright ,but not a day goes by that i don't think about that experience.remembering my conception,birth,and everything back to the formation of our universe has a funny way of letting you see things differently.
NOS4A2,you should be glad you got to experience the full power of the sacred mushroom. so many at this site have not a clue. shrooms are divine and should not be used to"get fucked up".they should be used to embrace what it means to be alive.mushrooms can teach us more than our minds can comprehend.
your mind wants to know more so it is preparing for another trip.take it.just stay away from the 8 gram doses.4-5 grams will teach you plenty.peace brother


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I TASTE THE WREAKAGE OF CRUMBLING FACES,I KNOW THE PALE THING IN THE DARKEST OF PLACES. -DAX RIGGS-

get the most out of life,listen to ACID BATH!!!!


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OfflineInnerBeing
Yakuza Boss

Registered: 12/07/04
Posts: 413
Loc: Chinatown
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Guidance please [Re: skullfarmer1979]
    #3497238 - 12/14/04 02:48 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I admit that I had a similiar experience on mushrooms two years ago. It was so terribly bad I was crying and chanting to myself. "THis is not fun, I want this to end," However, even though it was the most horrific trip that I cannot even put into words, it was also the best trip of my life. I have learned much from it. This was the trip that taught me to respect myself; mind, body, and soul. Furthermore, it taught to respect mushrooms for their power.
I haven't touched mushrooms since then, but I am eagerly awaiting another try. This time I will explore low doses and work my way up. I want to be able to underestand each level of the experience and work my way up to something more profound.


--------------------
Kiss the ring Bitch!



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OfflineGinseng1
Elegant Universe
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: Guidance please [Re: InnerBeing]
    #3497589 - 12/14/04 03:58 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I once had a very, very bad trip.  The experience was just fucked up, while it was so chaotic, I have so much more understanding now on how life is.

Quote:

InnerBeing said:
However, even though it was the most horrific trip that I cannot even put into words, it was also the best trip of my life.  I have learned much from it.  This was the trip that taught me to respect myself; mind, body, and soul.




I know what you mean about it being your worst and best trip at the same time, and I could say them same thing.  In my situation, however, the negative side of it was just too much, and I don't believe those lessons should have happened the way they did for me. It was at a cost that was  too high.  However, I think I learned some of the most valuble lessons of life from it.  Truths that I hadn't learned from my other experiences.  I learned many things on previous trips, but none of them as profound and chaotic as the lessons learned on my bad trip. I also was taught to respect myself; mind, body, and soul.  And I also learned of the mushrooms true power, and learned to respect them as you would yourself, because it is after all showing you your life.  I realize that shrooms will kick your ass if you think they will.  :thumbdown:

I have tripped since, but I don't think I'll ever need a trip as intense and crazy as my bad trip.  :smile:


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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Invisiblemecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
Re: Guidance please [Re: Ginseng1]
    #3497677 - 12/14/04 04:12 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

You guys sure you ODed?
You know that means overdose? Still sure you ODed?

Why were you eating 8 grams? You obviously wanted to trip extremely hard. And it looks like you got it. I have been through similar trips, and yes I know you don't think anyone has tripped like this before, everybody doesn't think anyone has tripped as hard as them for some reason.

Oh and don't use mushrooms to "forget/escape" life. They only make reality that much more real. If you keep using them like this, they will kick you in the ass even more than has already happened.(i.e. taking off all your clothes and running around your neighborhood naked.) That could send you to jail if somebody calls the cops.
Respect the mushroom and use it the way it was meant to be used. Not to escape from your everyday life. Go get sloshed to forget, just don't try to forget all the time. That leads to something called alcoholism, and it is one nasty bugger.


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No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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OfflineInnerBeing
Yakuza Boss

Registered: 12/07/04
Posts: 413
Loc: Chinatown
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Guidance please [Re: mecreateme]
    #3498858 - 12/14/04 07:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

well...what we are descibing isn't overdosing in the clinical sense, in other words it could be better described as undesirably dosing, i.e. receiving undesirable effects from a given dose.
These days I am more interested in low dosing. I like some of the sublte euphoric effects that mushrooms can provide.


--------------------
Kiss the ring Bitch!



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