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MrBump
Third prize is you're fired
Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,263
Loc: Denver, Colorado
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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I want to work here!
#3490841 - 12/13/04 11:45 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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HUH CORP.
We have really smart people who are always thinking up totally cool shit. We have a meeting room with a big, round, expensive table. When you hire us for marketing and consulting projects, we spend lots of time sitting around the table having meetings.
Our female staff members are all hot, so, even if there's nothing to meet about, we'll sit and flirt with them, and charge you for the time. When one of our new-age marketing gurus or design experts or consultants has an idea, the rest of us look at him or her with serious expressions and write stuff down on paper.
-------------------- If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all. There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
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thePatient
Criminal Bodhisattva
Registered: 07/07/02
Posts: 3,289
Loc: Indiana
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: MrBump]
#3491031 - 12/13/04 12:23 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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the whole website is full of ridiculous statements like that.
-------------------- T h e r e a r e n o o r d i n a r y m o m e n t s.
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Jim
Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: thePatient]
#3491050 - 12/13/04 12:25 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Our main consulting strategy is to convince clients that we do stuff they can't do themselves, and that we deserve lots of money for it. The best way to do this is to always look good, and always sound like we know something you don't. Because we do.
Are you confused yet? Of course you are. And that's just how we like it. Our marketing professionals are constantly coming up with new ways to make you feel inferior and stupid. Because you are. And we're not. We're new-age, eMoving, marketing consultants.
If you're still not convinced, we'll show you lots of marketing research and consulting cost analysis and global design positioning strategy reports to confuse you and hopefully convince you that we're so knowledgeable you couldn't possibly succeed without us. Because you can't. So don't even try.
-------------------- Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit! afoaf said: Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.
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adrug
Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: MrBump]
#3491101 - 12/13/04 12:32 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hah, best parody site I've seen in a long time.
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MrBump
Third prize is you're fired
Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,263
Loc: Denver, Colorado
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: adrug]
#3491118 - 12/13/04 12:34 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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i posted this in OTD .last night:
best support-group parody site
-------------------- If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all. There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
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adrug
Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: MrBump]
#3491127 - 12/13/04 12:36 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Funny...but not nearly as clever.
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afoaf
CEO DBK?
Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: MrBump]
#3491763 - 12/13/04 02:40 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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don't make me e-sexually harrass you.
-------------------- All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
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MrBump
Third prize is you're fired
Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,263
Loc: Denver, Colorado
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Re: I want to work here! [Re: afoaf]
#3491790 - 12/13/04 02:45 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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first...he grabbed my scroll bar. then *sobs* he talked about things that could fit in my USB Ports, Bwwwaaaaaahhhhh *sniffle sniffle*
-------------------- If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all. There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
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