|
 CosmicJoke
happy mutant
Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
|
 hasta luego 
#345240 - 06/20/01 02:04 PM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
sometimes, when walking out of the haze into those awkward moments of lucidity, i see my life predicament as a test to prove my love for God. it's like a metaphor for saying - ok, i acknowledge through this revitalizing experience that i'm not experiencing my full range of being, and that there must be a reason that i am locking myself into this particular space. so it's as though i want to confront those ideas/reasons that are keeping me stuck in these limited spaces, and nurture them so that i might bring myself out of this cage and open myself up to all that's possible for myself.
LSD showed me that there were other vibrational spaces than the ones that i had became accustomed to. when i began using it in large doses, it would atom bomb every reason that was keeping me stuck in my limited spaces out of existence, and for awhile i get to become a master of Grace & Time and experience a whole spectrum of vibrations. so naturally, being released from the tiny space i'm stuck into the whole spectrum, i'd be floored on my ass with inspiration, power, and beauty - as an artist, musician, philosopher, comedian, lover, friend, exc. with complete ease and a total sense of self.
the ego is something that needs nurtured, it doesn't lock awareness into a particular space and limit us when it's not under tension. using a drug to atom bomb it away, while ignoring what it is composed of obviously isn't a good thing. we need linear thinking.
well folks, that's the thing about my current disposition, that's a problem of mine - i've used lsd hundreds of times in the past 3 years. i've became obsessed with it, and it's became a setback towards any spiritual progress. when you are experiencing such a tight squeeze on consciousness, and you've found a way out, you'll naturally exploit it. when you find a way to visit god, you may continue to take it without ever testing your will to see if you can truly become like God.
i want an authentic sense of self, one that will not fade away.
i've seen that self so many tiimes, but i haven't the purity to will myself to feel it within each moment.
'd rather not become a hopeless religious space case or live the rest of my life in some 12-step rehab program. i'm trying to give up my obsession with lsd and get on the Path. i'd like to ween myself down to 8 trips that had a lasting impact on me next year, instead of the 80 trips i've had this year.
so, that's a big deal for me. a big test. this will be the last post i'll make at the shroomery. having this unhealthy obsession with lsd, i'm sure you folks can understand why.
my love goes out to you folks, and a particular thanks to markosthegnostic, gnrmie, and pan-- seems like God teams me up with certain people every now and then to get things done, and I'd consider you guys part of that team.
peace/cj
--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good.
If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.
It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.
I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
|
 gnrm23
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/29/99
Posts: 6,491
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
Last seen: 1 month, 15 days
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#345812 - 06/21/01 07:10 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
may your light so shine...
safe journeying, my friend...
walk on!
--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care
|
gribochek
enthusiast
Registered: 04/18/99
Posts: 286
Last seen: 20 years, 8 months
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#345830 - 06/21/01 07:50 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
You think there is a difference between 8 and 80?
enlightenment is as easy as doing nothing
|
Phyl
old hand
Registered: 01/17/00
Posts: 597
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#345882 - 06/21/01 09:33 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
When you get a cable car to the top of a mountain, you think it's quite nice, but to truely appreciate it you must climb there yourself.
|
MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#345895 - 06/21/01 09:54 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
I am honored by your acknowledgement, and sincerely hope you will continue to stay in touch at least by e mail. I will be leaving for Africa on Saturday, but will be back July 12th. I should have computer access there as well. Pax Vobiscum.
--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
|
mr crisper
.
Registered: 07/24/00
Posts: 928
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#346312 - 06/21/01 09:51 PM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
i will miss you
in lvx
|
BBin
BlueOvertoneStorm
Registered: 04/30/99
Posts: 455
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#347342 - 06/23/01 11:26 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
I wish you light happiness and clarity in finding your true centre, from me to you, truly from the heart.
because on this path, all directions will come together at the centre. dot line circle
The psychedelic shortcut turns out to be not all that short alltogether...
Light Love Respect :)
Thought is born blind but Mind knows what is Seeing
--------------------
Thought is born blind but Mind knows what is Seeing
|
oneoverzero
veteran
Registered: 01/23/00
Posts: 758
Loc: Cyber Space
Last seen: 22 years, 11 months
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#347687 - 06/23/01 10:52 PM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Then it seems you've figured LSD out?  Gotta have yer sober days too.  Let's get to the REAL YOU.
Get to the Heart of Soul
--------------------
[red]0011 0001 0010 1111 0011 0000[/red]
|
Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#348995 - 06/25/01 10:45 PM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Hmmm...
The pie doesn't taste that great after a steady diet of the same slice, eh? Training wheels they are (yoda speak)... one eventually learns to ride without help.
--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...
|
pan
member
Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 32
Loc: here
Last seen: 21 years, 5 months
|
Re: hasta luego [Re: CosmicJoke]
#351342 - 06/29/01 10:03 AM (23 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Thank you for your light, cj.
You are embarking on the same journey in earnest, at the same time, as I am. Been so Hamlet and hazy and pulled and lost ever since glimpsing it, but not been living it, been much too easy to fade back onto the low road. But I have found a practice..... at last, and so....
"From this time forward let my thoughts be bloody or nothing worth"
Thank you for all your inspiration and love. It's an honour to feel I might have given you inspiration in my time. Really is.
Taba asi, mon amis,
Namaste,
Pan
email me, if you don't get the one I'm sending to "starseed..."
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 3 all )
fivepointer
gettinjiggywithit
exclusive58
somebodyelse
CeeThruMeer