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Super_Blunt
Candyman


Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 3,140
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How to stop masturbation
#3426661 - 11/30/04 03:25 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:
A Guide to Self-Control:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mid. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!
The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of the procreative power given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan.
This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become burdensome, offerins.
To help in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a brieation is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man function.
The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions of reproductive cells call _spermatozoa_. These are moved up a tube called the _vas deferens_ to a place called the _ampulla_ where they are mixed with fluids from two membranous pouches called _seminal vesicles_ and the _prostate gland_. The resultant fluid is calleeminal vesicles are full a signa to the _central nervous system_ indicating they are ready to benother, depending on such thingsexercise, state of health, etc. everal times a week, for others It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night durise the emptying come from the cetral nervous system. Often an erotic dream is experienced at the same time, and is a part of this normal process. nstead ourse, the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace, trying to keep up with the loss of semen. When he stops the habit, the body will continue to produce ahis increased rate, for an indefese are not harmful and are to be endured until the normal central nervous system pathway of rel During this period of control several things can be done to make the pr As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of t Remember it is essential that a regur report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.
Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out lout when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and
not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives Up_. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
--------------------
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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3426667 - 11/30/04 03:29 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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wow.
it doesn't even mention how sperm can be sucked up into the spinal cord, and metabolized back into the endochrine system...
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Super_Blunt
Candyman


Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 3,140
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Middleman]
#3426669 - 11/30/04 03:29 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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delicious!
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Loosifa
none


Registered: 05/26/04
Posts: 506
Loc: England (South)
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3426737 - 11/30/04 04:28 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I hope this doesn't apply to women! I'm not giving up self pollution for anyone!! A whole new meaning to the phrase "under the thumb"...
-------------------- LURK
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sublimistri
Higher Than AKite


Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 2,952
Loc: Forgotten
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Loosifa]
#3426807 - 11/30/04 05:13 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I got an easier one step way , and u can look at yourself all you want , and stay in the shower all you want.
Step 1: Surgically Remove your hands.
-------------------- Tradelist My Ethnobotanical Garden Cup Greenhouse Tek. Make small sturdy pots (With detachable grenhouse tops) with cups. Your human friend will have to dose atropine uninformed, I will not spread information that may harm a cat. - Wiccan_Seeker
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Loosifa]
#3426848 - 11/30/04 05:38 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Loosifa this doesn't apply to women. I support womanly masturbation 100%, keep up the good work. 
As for me, I don't believe in God so this plan doesn't apply to me. I already have an exit plan set in place for quitting, I figure if I continue masturbating once a day, then in 80 years or so I should be able to slowly ween myself off the habit.
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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EvilEwok
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/03
Posts: 574
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Silven]
#3427036 - 11/30/04 08:36 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Ah masturbation my favorite pastime, It's the only thing im good at 
Who ever wrote that article should be hanged by their testicles.
-------------------- Now go Home.
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Hendostan


Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,444
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: EvilEwok]
#3427303 - 11/30/04 10:18 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Men who masturbate 12 or more times a month have a greatly reduced risk of prostate cancer!! Why the hell would you want to stop? It's healthy.
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Hendostan]
#3427329 - 11/30/04 10:29 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hendostan said: Men who masturbate 12 or more times a month have a greatly reduced risk of prostate cancer!! Why the hell would you want to stop? It's healthy.
Wow seriously? In that case my chances of prostate cancer must be incredibly low, atleast two times as low as men who masturbate 12 times a month.. perhaps more.
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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Vvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3427338 - 11/30/04 10:33 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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people who fear sex/sexuality (i.e. the religious) are in a constant state of denial and "faith" head games.
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tomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Vvellum]
#3427347 - 11/30/04 10:37 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you cannot stop masturbating via the above method, both the Mormon and Catholic churches recommend surgically removing of the penis to avoid the temptation.
-------------------- "I am eternally free"
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Vvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: tomk]
#3427356 - 11/30/04 10:40 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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...or tricking alter boys to suck your cock in the storage closet.
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reflectedlight
in town untilthe blood flows


Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 926
Loc: aether
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Vvellum]
#3427393 - 11/30/04 10:53 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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masturbation is good for you once a week, otherwise it can be harmful and is an addiction, just like anything can become. find a substitute and it will be easier to stop
-------------------- at this point i think we can be relatively certain seperation exists as a fallacy of finite perception, and the only barrier to infinite creativity is a preimposed notion of certainty and artificial conditioning. nothing is without origin
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Vvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
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see, that's bullshit.
One person can masterbate every day and be just fine; another can do it every day and have it negatively affect their lives. It's like anything else - alcohol would be a great example. I can drink several times a week and not dive head first into addiction and personal ruin, but others cannot.
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OJK
Stranger

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 10,629
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I don't believe in addiction. Addiction is for the weak.
Does anyone here agree that masturbation causes "stress and guilt"? For me, it's quite the opposite.
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: OJK]
#3427412 - 11/30/04 11:03 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Masturbation gives me a nice quick release of stress and it feels real damn good too. 
I don't find it addicting.. it's not like I'm calling off work so I can stay home and beat off all day or neglecting my house payment because I want to jerk my chain.
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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reflectedlight
in town untilthe blood flows


Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 926
Loc: aether
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Silven]
#3427431 - 11/30/04 11:12 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Really? Try stopping for a couple days. I bet you'll find yourself stroking it without realizing it.. It's all good, perhaps you're right bi0. I find it depletes my energy if I do it too often, of course I still do though
-------------------- at this point i think we can be relatively certain seperation exists as a fallacy of finite perception, and the only barrier to infinite creativity is a preimposed notion of certainty and artificial conditioning. nothing is without origin
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MrBump
Third prize is you're fired


Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,263
Loc: Denver, Colorado
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3427486 - 11/30/04 11:36 AM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
"Im sorry Timmy, we can't play wiffle ball together anymore. See, you just jerk it too much and I'm trying to quit so my soul can be saved."
-------------------- If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all. There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
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Mushit
Shit Lover

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 253
Loc: The Great White North
Last seen: 7 months, 11 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: MrBump]
#3427610 - 11/30/04 12:14 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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I try to prevent it by getting someone else to do it for me. Hee Hee
-------------------- Up to my elbows in shit!
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Loosifa
none


Registered: 05/26/04
Posts: 506
Loc: England (South)
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Mushit]
#3427694 - 11/30/04 12:35 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Do you reckon if we all knocked one out together whilst tripping, it would be a cosmic circle jerk?
-------------------- LURK
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Loosifa]
#3427701 - 11/30/04 12:37 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Loosifa said: Do you reckon if we all knocked one out together whilst tripping, it would be a cosmic circle jerk?

Perhaps there would be so much sexual energy in one small area that we could summon up the Gods of the universe and figure out the meaning of life..
Or.. perhaps we would just wake the neighbors with all the moaning and screaming. Either way, it'd be pretty funny.
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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Hendostan


Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,444
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Loosifa]
#3427705 - 11/30/04 12:38 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's pretty tough for me to get off while tripping, but you may be on to something lossifa. I often wonder at any given time how many people in the world are in the throws of an orgasm
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Anonymous
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Mushit]
#3427717 - 11/30/04 12:40 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
"Im sorry Timmy, we can't play wiffle ball together anymore. See, you just jerk it too much and I'm trying to quit so my soul can be saved."
HAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA!! 
man i been busting up throughout this whole thread, im sad to have the laughter end at this last post *snicker*
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Anonymous
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: ]
#3427731 - 11/30/04 12:43 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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lol, the reason i took so long to reply wasnt because i was jerkin it quick, i swear!
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: ]
#3427770 - 11/30/04 12:55 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Kottonmouth wrote:
Quote:
lol, the reason i took so long to reply wasnt because i was jerkin it quick, i swear!
Admit your addiction or be prepared to face the power of the United States Justice System!
Today masturbation was included in substance control as a Schedule I drug. Those currently addicted are allowed access to rehab by dialing our newly set-up toll free number.
1-800-No-Jerkn
We look forward to helping our citizens through this crisis, but anyone found to be violating the new scheduling will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Your President,
George Dubble-Yuh
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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Anonymous
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Silven]
#3427843 - 11/30/04 01:13 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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im fucked.
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Super_Blunt
Candyman


Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 3,140
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: ]
#3427923 - 11/30/04 01:34 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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masturbation is for the weak.
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YouEnjoyMyself
PHiSH

Registered: 03/01/03
Posts: 8,127
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3428007 - 11/30/04 01:57 PM (19 years, 2 months ago) |
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Super Blunt, I must say that if someone is going to use that guide to stop masterbation, once they get to the bottom, your signature isn't gonna help them 
i like those signature pics....mmmmm......
-------------------- -Wash uffitze drive me to firenze
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Super_Blunt
Candyman


Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 3,140
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I know 'YouEnjoyYourself'
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Skunk420


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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..someone had to say it...it doesn't take much to get me aroused...I am horny and it is normal...
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3433448 - 12/01/04 03:32 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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i'm wondering how long you spent writing all of that up...also, do priests jerk off?
--------------------
ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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llamaherder
brother

Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 156
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: TODAY]
#3433583 - 12/01/04 04:00 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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thanks
-------------------- the post above is completely fictional.
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DF2K
Me.


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 5,826
Loc: The land before time
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: TODAY]
#3433585 - 12/01/04 04:01 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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he didnt write it, i saw it on bluelight once, i think its actually real *shudders*, i saw the link for the orignal article
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: DF2K]
#3435372 - 12/01/04 10:47 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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HOLY CRAP...i've read some 18th century christian propoganda before, it was scary as hell. it was about how sex was bad and it told the wife how to slowly ween their husbands off of sex.
--------------------
ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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INsideUS
tHe INsiDiOUsoNe

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 60
Loc: YouTee, YouEssAy
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: TODAY]
#3435429 - 12/01/04 11:06 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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I saw this post on some mormon website, it was trying to teach young adults how to stop this "bad" habit, especially if they were going to go on a mission soon. If you're trying to stop beating off, just dont go to http://www.sexhackers.com/ LOL~ Merry Christmas! .....early.
--------------------
insidious adj 1: beguiling but harmful; "insidious pleasures" 2: intended to entrap 3: working or spreading in a hidden and usually injurious way; "a subtle poison"
Edited by INsideUS (12/01/04 11:38 PM)
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ricyjo


Registered: 07/22/02
Posts: 1,516
Loc: -53.121600, 73.763943
Last seen: 41 minutes, 39 seconds
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Hendostan]
#3435530 - 12/01/04 11:29 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Hendostan said: Men who masturbate 12 or more times a month have a greatly reduced risk of prostate cancer!! Why the hell would you want to stop? It's healthy.
roflz
alright! by those stats, im 'beating' the odds 12.5 times over!! (5 times a day)
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DF2K
Me.


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 5,826
Loc: The land before time
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: ricyjo]
#3435675 - 12/02/04 12:08 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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all take your 5 and double it
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nonoman
ambassador


Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: INsideUS]
#3436087 - 12/02/04 03:54 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Kewl, thx.
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: TODAY]
#3436194 - 12/02/04 05:46 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Today wrote:
Quote:
it was about how sex was bad and it told the wife how to slowly ween their husbands off of sex.
Heh, so those evil bastards are the ones who turn our wives against us after that diamond's on their finger! All my married friends and even my own step-dad warn me to not get married, that everything stops. You have sex on a schedule if at all, like one saturday a month, two sundays a year. Something like the national guard, only less. And as far as head goes, fuck, scratch that off your list unless you can reach it yourself.
Damn the christians.
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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DF2K
Me.


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 5,826
Loc: The land before time
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Silven]
#3437144 - 12/02/04 11:49 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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i think christianity has done more bad things for this world then its wroth
i have a born-again christian friend, always telling me i should convert
why?...so i can feel guilty about looking at porn and masturbating???
fuck that, im only human, lol
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,072
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 6 months, 14 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: DF2K]
#3437184 - 12/02/04 11:58 AM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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No, so that you're better than everyone else, and also if you donate over $500,000 to our church, God will be sure to make your part of heaven extra nice. Even more heavenish than he does those other common.. things.. that aren't part of our church.
So, uh, put another dollar in my.. err.. god's collection basket and pass it over here. I'll be sure to deliver it to him myself so that you can rest assured he gets it and no CRIMINAL STEALS IT FROM YOU BY LYING TO YOU.
... sometimes I get carried away.
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Silven]
#3437639 - 12/02/04 01:25 PM (19 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Silven said: Heh, so those evil bastards are the ones who turn our wives against us after that diamond's on their finger! All my married friends and even my own step-dad warn me to not get married, that everything stops. You have sex on a schedule if at all, like one saturday a month, two sundays a year. Something like the national guard, only less. And as far as head goes, fuck, scratch that off your list unless you can reach it yourself.
Damn the christians.
lol lol lol lol, that's some shit to take to heart!!
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Jim


Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: TODAY]
#3769022 - 02/11/05 10:08 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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how did I miss this thread?
-------------------- Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit! afoaf said: Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Jim]
#3769048 - 02/11/05 10:16 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Maybe you were busy masturbating?
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Jim


Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
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hey... you never know
-------------------- Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit! afoaf said: Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.
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Boom
just a tester

Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Jim]
#3769387 - 02/11/05 11:39 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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I kinda sorta miss Super Blunt and his wacky shenanigans.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Boom]
#3769413 - 02/11/05 11:44 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Wacky shenanigans like ripping people off? Yeah, it sucks not having that guy around...
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juende
feministpresence

Registered: 02/20/04
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Silven]
#3769423 - 02/11/05 11:45 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Silven said: Loosifa this doesn't apply to women. I support womanly masturbation 100%, keep up the good work. 
hahaha. HAHAHAHA. oh ....
this article is crazy but i could see a old friend of mine trying to follow this.. tee hee. silly kids
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juende
feministpresence

Registered: 02/20/04
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: juende]
#3769429 - 02/11/05 11:46 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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hahaha.. womanly.. i didn't see that. well theres yer loop hole.
masterbate like a womyn. woot!
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: juende]
#3769484 - 02/12/05 12:01 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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You mean with a showerhead?
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juende
feministpresence

Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 729
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Quote:
electrode said: You mean with a showerhead?
hahah. of course not.. er.. um.. yeah. wait. uh *runs away. yelling i'm dirty, i'm dirty*
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blissedout


Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3769506 - 02/12/05 12:10 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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--------------------
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: blissedout]
#3769520 - 02/12/05 12:14 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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That's funny.... everytime I masturbate, I kill a kitten, too.
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Pathos
A million pieces


Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 1,045
Loc: Under the stairs
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Quote:
electrode said: That's funny.... everytime I masturbate, I kill a kitten, too.
One usually leads to the other
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Pathos]
#3769741 - 02/12/05 01:32 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah, tell me about it. My girlfriends getting tired of all these mangled kitties everywhere.
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beejay
some randominternet dude

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 2,601
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Pathos]
#3769744 - 02/12/05 01:34 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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How did Dildo heads thread get back out of solitary confinement? I got so excited when I saw silvens avatar. I thought maybe he was back. man I miss that guy. Come back Silven. Superblunt was a herpes infested cum bubble of a puppet. Im glad hes gone... he did give me a 5 shroom rating though. Wierd! He still a dill weed.
-------------------- Anjaba said: Oh shit, don't drink it.... It would eat away your esophagus... mantis said: Leave me out of this pissing contest, you fascist wang-dang-doodle! Hattori Hanzo said: If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: beejay]
#3769756 - 02/12/05 01:38 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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beejay, check yer ratings.
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beejay
some randominternet dude

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 2,601
Loc: The Dark Tower
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
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thank you good sir. you da man now dawg :in best drunkin sean conery accent:
-------------------- Anjaba said: Oh shit, don't drink it.... It would eat away your esophagus... mantis said: Leave me out of this pissing contest, you fascist wang-dang-doodle! Hattori Hanzo said: If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut
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Locus



Registered: 03/11/04
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3770309 - 02/12/05 07:53 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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masturbation is natural all good i say! onward ho!
you could think about your mom's tits and cunt for a while or something and see if that helps you out with cutting down though, unless you like that sort of thing.
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein "Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe ~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~ *Check my profile to listen to my music*
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Merkin
neep.


Registered: 07/04/03
Posts: 27,537
Loc: Ass Flavoured Pie Factory
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Super_Blunt]
#3770328 - 02/12/05 08:05 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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I've read this before somewhere. where? ~
-------------------- Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!
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risesun123
Stranger
Registered: 11/11/06
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Find out why masturbation is harmful for your health and many aspects of your life and what you can do to stop it. Read the only step-by-step program available in the world today and you will succeed in ending the habit of masturbation and start enjoying your life to the fullest. check http://www.stopmasturbating.com/
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Mitchnast
Toadmonger


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Re: Stop Masturbation Now [Re: risesun123]
#6271426 - 11/11/06 08:56 AM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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does humping inanimate objects qualify as masturbation?
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist


Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: Stop Masturbation Now [Re: risesun123]
#6271652 - 11/11/06 11:20 AM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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you shall be remembered for your epic first post. 
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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I have a new signature.

EDIT:
...And I got rid of it after twenty minutes because it was stupid looking.
Edited by RandalFlagg (11/11/06 12:43 PM)
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03
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Re: Stop Masturbation Now [Re: RandalFlagg]
#6271820 - 11/11/06 12:09 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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life is short, all the more reason to crank one out
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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daytripper05
Psychonaut



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 6,962
Loc: In my garden
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: TODAY]
#6271930 - 11/11/06 12:42 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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hahahaha. Catholic priest don't masturbate but instead their holiness allows them to use little boys. Bastards. Christianity has everything figured out doesn't it?
Native cultures founded the first concepts of religion. They all had medicine men and shamans of some sort. People first learned of the existance of god through psychedelics and christianity's version is far from the original. All that structure and rules. Christianity is all about money. God would have no part in this.
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Tahoe58
adapt.....orperish.....


Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 510
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: daytripper05]
#6273076 - 11/11/06 06:28 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
daytripper05 said: Native cultures founded the first concepts of religion. They all had medicine men and shamans of some sort. People first learned of the existance of god through psychedelics and christianity's version is far from the original. All that structure and rules. Christianity is all about money. God would have no part in this.
In the words of U2 - The god I believe in isn't short of cash, mister!.....all so true, from my perspective.
-------------------- Its all about perspective.....spend more time "being, less time "doing"
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Herbus
...

Registered: 10/19/04
Posts: 1,477
Loc: Reading the map...
Last seen: 10 years, 22 days
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: sublimistri]
#6273459 - 11/11/06 08:44 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sublimistri said: I got an easier one step way , and u can look at yourself all you want , and stay in the shower all you want.
Step 1: Surgically Remove your hands.
Lol.
I went for like 50 days once with no sexual activity. Alone or with anyone else. Which means no consciously-induced ejactulation for 50 days.
You know what begins to happen? You start waking up in your own slippery-sticky mess. Nothing sucks more than a big jiz spot on your pants or boxers.
So... having tried several methods, I think abstaining from masturbation is stupid unless you've got somebody to have sex with all the time. At least with masturbation you can direct the sperm-flow to regions/objects/containers which are easily disposed. Personally, my favorite is outside because there's no clean-up!
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Brainiac
Rogue Scientist


Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 13,259
Loc: 與您的女朋
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Herbus]
#6273492 - 11/11/06 08:59 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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I like that is says "Never read about your problem ".
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Fair is Fair
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Inner_Chi
Dragons exist toprotect humansfrom themselves


Registered: 11/17/04
Posts: 141
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: Brainiac]
#6276373 - 11/12/06 06:10 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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the priest thing is irrelivant. the only real priests are monks and they don't have any sexual desire. catholic priests should be allowed to be married and then the whole molestation thing would go away, but really what it says is that catholics are fucked... but everybody SHOULD already know that, and if they don't then they are ignorant. figures that nobosy would take this seriousely... but hey its a choice just like everything else. personally i've done research on the subject... many men don't feel the need to exert the energy and losr the energy they do from ejacultaion... you accually lose come of your chi when you do cum... and others use tantra to not have an orgasm even during sex for as long as 6 months... and then when you wait that long you have like an hour long orgasm... there really are many benifits, especially when it comes to relating sexual desire with other living beings instead in inanimate objects, televsion, computers, magazines... those type of practices make people more anti-social and disconnected all the time from eachother... i would agree to this but for all the little things to "get your mind off it" just like smoking cigarettes i would say just fucking do it... addiction is the key to all weakness, and only when we are free from addiction can we even try to start the path to clairty. its not like everyone who has ever masturbated is going to hell, young people have an excuse because they havent had a chance to mature yet... but even if you a fat ugly guy whos never going to get laid there are benifits of clairty and energy to non-masturbation. also the psychological effects of habitual masturbation and pornography viewing can cause many problems in intimate realtionships... i have read extensive reports from stanford university on the subject. the conclusion of these reports is that men who masturbated more often than others had increasingly more problems in dating, and ones who used pornography could usually not hold down relationships... its really all stuff to think about guys.
-------------------- if you think you are better than me, you should speculte less and enquire;if you know you are better than me then i have already won. if truely you are better then your example will teach me without an attempt to do so.
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EmperorKuzco
somewhatfamiliar

Registered: 02/13/06
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: sublimistri]
#6278093 - 11/13/06 07:45 AM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sublimistri said: I got an easier one step way , and u can look at yourself all you want , and stay in the shower all you want.
Step 1: Surgically Remove your hands.
Really? I'm pretty sure I could rub one out with just my forearms. In fact, I might start trying it that way so just in case I lose both hands in a horrible masturbation accident, I'll still be able to work the pressure relief valve.
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JoelLoveland5
Giant Reptile


Registered: 11/11/06
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Re: How to stop masturbation [Re: EmperorKuzco]
#6278492 - 11/13/06 11:25 AM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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wtf
-------------------- Newb Friendly Tek for The Lazy by "Hydro420" http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/5278987/an/0/page/0 Great Newb Friendly Cloning Tek by "Creamcorn" http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5874305#5874305 One Goal, One Passion - Joel Loveland "Dont Be Wise In Your Own Opinions"
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