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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
I'm a gay Muslim
    #3426228 - 11/30/04 02:45 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Perhaps this is the best place for this, since it has spiritual and religious over tones.

I just came out of the closet earlier today in Off-Topic Discussion, I am quite surprised not one single person responded negatively... then again OTD is coming off a large tidal wave of drama from the other week.

But to say the least, I am gay. A gay Muslim at that, which may have caused a conflicting issue in the past, but I have realized that much of my previous turmoil in my life was caused by running away from something that wasn't chasing me. I have came to terms with who I am, although I don't plan to "shout it out to world" or whatever because in retrospect there is no point as it is a non-issue...and furthermore, for many people around me, including those who I worship with, it is none of their business.

I have always been conflicted because I have found myself getting crushes (romantically) on other guys (including one friend of mine from Jordan, who inspired me to come to terms with it since he is also gay) but at the same time utterly repulsed at gay culture. I have and always will hate the so-called gay culture because I view them as mostly zombie like materialistic beings who are only able to identify with sensual pleasure. They are utterly repulsed by anything slightly related to spirituality, God, and religion - and I have always been repulsed by mindless hedonism, regardless who induldges in it.

I will always be a Lover of Allah though...I am grateful to God I'm not an angry, society hating homosexual. I do not find falling in love with another guy as shameful. However, alot of things are entwined with the so-called homosexual community such as casual sex - which I also find completely shameful and void of any higher thought either than the mis-use of one's instinct to merge physically with another fleshly being who one loves.

Aside from my sexuality and spirituality being at odds with this society (a gay Muslim... sounds like a joke), I am doing fine.

I guess I'm doing fine.

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah

:heart:Zahid


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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3426369 - 11/30/04 03:15 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

I have sensed a lot of conflict in you in the past so I'm glad to hear you have found yourself. Hopefully you will find peace if you haven't done so already. :smile:


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I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: Jellric]
    #3426376 - 11/30/04 03:17 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

:heart:


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Invisibleninjapixie
newbie
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 417
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3426534 - 11/30/04 04:05 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

I know what you mean about materialistic gay culture, Queer eye for the straight guy crap. I knew a gay guy that hated it too. Just a big stereotype.

I honestly don't know much about the muslim religion. What do they have against gays? I did hear someone put a fatwa on some gay muslim sect.

And good on you for coming out. I admire your honesty.


--------------------
Put that monkey back in the oven.


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Offlinelovelight
float

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 368
Loc: yellow submarine
Last seen: 10 years, 23 days
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: ninjapixie]
    #3426847 - 11/30/04 07:37 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Of course you won't get negative responses, you are gay! so what?

Although I can't speak for your religious circle, I think you will find that most people are very used to and accepting of homosexuality, and those who are not usually have just enough intelligence to keep their unfounded, fearbased, thoughtless opinions to themselves.
i don't see a need for 'gay pride' but i do believe in strength of character, so it is great to hear you are becoming comfortable with who you are. I too know gay guys who are not the stereotype materialist hedonists, so I don't know how much substance that argument holds, and I hope it means you meet some amazing men out there!

peace & love  :grin:


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Turn on your lovelight, let it shine on me


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,376
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3426937 - 11/30/04 09:27 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Congrats on opening up, if it's true!

I have to admit...I'm a little skeptical over most of the things you say around here, zahid, since you admittedly seem to enjoy pulling strings on these boards :wink:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineBanJankri
FreefallerUpwards

Registered: 07/27/04
Posts: 1,392
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3427147 - 11/30/04 11:22 AM (12 years, 5 days ago)

aleykum selam


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Just let everything flow, just flow right to the center of everything. You gotta turn off your mind and relax, and then just float downstream...


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OfflinePhluck
Carpal Tunnel
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 5 days
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3427304 - 11/30/04 12:18 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Well, you're one of the last people I expected to come out of the closet, but congradulations, it's a cool suprise.

But hey, what's wrong with a little mindless hedonism?


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"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,376
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3427441 - 11/30/04 01:15 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

You said your crush's name was Ashfoq, right? Is that a very common name for muslims?


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3427450 - 11/30/04 01:17 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

I think its awesome you decided to stand in your truth publicaly.  :thumbup: :heart:

I wish more people had the guts to come out and express their true feelings. To many live in turmoil who can't and the more that do, the more others will feel inspired too and maybe someday- teen and general suicide rates will drop as a result.

Lifes to loooooooooooong to live in hiding.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3427508 - 11/30/04 01:46 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Something else I want to add. My daughter was playing an old CD of mine and this song came on as I left off from my last reply and it related.

It's called "behind the groove"-some lyrics-

Behind the groove there's a lover sad inside of you.
He can make your wildest dreams come true.
Life is waiting for you to begin.
Behind the groove you can put away your masquerade.
You don't ever have to be afraid.
You must be the one your searching for.
You can dance forever and a day.
Got to move get behind the groove.
Why don't you let your spirit play
Lover me and lover you
If we make it through behind the groove to Xanadu

Life is waiting for YOU to begin.

I swaer the energy music of the early 80s got me so fucking high its the only thing that kept me from drugs in my teens. I use to drown myself in the music and lyrics to get amped and let my spirit soar.

I like that!


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineRiffSki
Fulltime stoner

Registered: 09/18/04
Posts: 117
Loc: Oslo, Norway
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: BanJankri]
    #3427887 - 11/30/04 03:27 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Allah will not be mercyful with you when you come to him


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Arguing on the net is like competing in the special olympics. Even if you win you are still a retard.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Stranger
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,321
Loc: On the Border
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: RiffSki]
    #3427994 - 11/30/04 03:54 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

You may be gay, but you ain't a Muslim. You cannot be both. It sounds like you have a lot of conflict about what you are. While your sympathies may lie, politically, with the plight of Muslims in our world today (who are seriously being put between a rock and a hard place these days due to world conflict which forces them to choose allegiances and neither choice they have is very good), but this culture will NOT accept you...ever. Look at your background, your race, your upbringing, and your nationality. It is in these things you will find your roots and know who you are. I am seriously interested in Native American culture...and I even got some of that blood in my veins, but I am NOT an Indian and that culture would never accept me. I am close to what, in the early 70s, was called a WASP(except I am not protestant). I am a caucasian, middle class American. That may be boring, but it is what I am and I am proud of it...and I certainly will not feel guilty for it. Who you are is where you been. Who you will be is where you are going.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3428023 - 11/30/04 03:59 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Huehuecoyotl said:
Who you are is where you been. Who you will be is where you are going.




Thats all you needed to say. Golden!


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineQuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Male User Gallery

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Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 21 days, 15 hours
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3428075 - 11/30/04 04:15 PM (12 years, 4 days ago)

A gay muslim is like saying a gay rastafari. There is just no such thing. lol


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-QuantumMeltdown

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
  -Mark Twain

"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters  hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
    #3428100 - 11/30/04 04:22 PM (12 years, 4 days ago)

I lived in the West Indies for 6 years. Yes there is. "Anti Mon" is one of their favorite expressions.

Thats nothin- way common there. Here's a true story. In St. Croix, this guy was arrested for having a cow in his motel room doing you know what with it. The sheep and chickens in the west Indies keep their backs to the fenses.

Gay rastas? pssshhhhhhhh They are like nature itself. If they see a hole, they find a way to fill it.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (11/30/04 04:31 PM)


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3428128 - 11/30/04 04:33 PM (12 years, 4 days ago)

Thank you everyone for the kind replies. :heart:


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InvisibleDiploidM
Cuban

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: zahudulallah]
    #3428133 - 11/30/04 04:34 PM (12 years, 4 days ago)

From your history here I have to admit that I'm was a little skeptical too, but if your post comes from the heart, I wish you the best in this new chapter of self-discovery.  :thumbup:


--------------------
Republican Values:

1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you.
2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child.
3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer.

4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.


Edited by Diploid (11/30/04 06:20 PM)


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3428225 - 11/30/04 04:52 PM (12 years, 4 days ago)

Frankly, I don't appreciate your post Hue. It's the exact same isolationist mentality that people use towards me when they try to tell me I'm not a real Muslim because of my cultural background. You obviously don't know the first thing about Islam. All you seem to (think) you know is that Islam is a strict religion for brown skinned people. Do you know what makes a person a Muslim? Simply believing that there is no god but God, and Muhammad is His Messenger. Do you know what nulifies one's Islam? Being gay doesn't. Using psychedelics doesn't. Heck, being alcoholic who runs a pork stand doesn't. In the exoteric follow-ups in Islam, the only thing that removes one from the fold of iman (faith) is shirk - association of partners with God. And these Hue, are only the exoteric ideas of a religion. I am not bounded by dogma. Dogma isn't a means to an end for Truth either. I am a Sufi, a Gnostic, a Mystic, an Esoteric, and I live an unlimited life. I am a Muslim because it's the path to God I happen to select during my first exposure to psychedelics some years ago.

When I became a Muslim, I became a Muslim in the sight of God, not in the sight of Muslims. I became a Muslim because I wanted a conscious relationship with God. I did not become a Muslim to impress Muslims. Most people who convert to the religion because of contact and exposure to other Muslims...I came to the religion on my own. Its beauty attracted me like a moth towards a flame. I do not find judgement in God. I find Love, Mercy, and Compassion. Wadud, Rahman, Raheem.

I didn't become a Muslim for the Muslims, I became one for God. I am not attracted to Islamic-Arab culture itself Hue. It has many short comings compared to the egalitarian culture of the West.

But Islam is hardly about culture. It's about God, in the end. Submission to God. I love Allah, and have a conscious relationship with Allah and that is what submission pretty much is. That's what makes one a Muslim.

All and all, your understanding of Islam is very exoteric. Perhaps you should read about Sufism and the mystical ascetics of Islam.

"Come, come whoever you are! Sinner, or saint, knower or believer, the Beloved only looks at what is in your heart! Come!" --Jalaluddin Rumi

Your lecture is benighted and exploitive of the situation Hue, but I forgive you. :heart:


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: I'm a gay Muslim [Re: Diploid]
    #3428241 - 11/30/04 04:55 PM (12 years, 4 days ago)

Quote:

Diploid said:
From your history here I have to admit that I'm was little skeptical too, but if your post comes from the heart, I wish you the best in this new chapter of self-discovery.  :thumbup:




I have nothing to gain by pulling pranks in S&P, where a few of the people who know me best post here on a regular basis.


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