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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Is Hell Exothermic?
    #3414725 - 11/27/04 02:19 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

This was posted at another board, it's sorta funny, enjoy!;




The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to
Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not

belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to

expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 5,395
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3414746 - 11/27/04 02:25 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

:lol:  That was great.


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


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Offlinelovelight
float

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 368
Loc: yellow submarine
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3415042 - 11/27/04 05:17 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

hahaha!  :grin:


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Invisiblepsyka
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Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3415070 - 11/27/04 05:56 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

My friend who comes into my store shared that with me not too long ago. Good stuff :laugh:


--------------------
As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.



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Invisibledorkus
don't look back
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Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3415109 - 11/27/04 06:48 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Awesome read  :thumbup:


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OfflineTheCheat
son of the lamb

Registered: 05/14/04
Posts: 426
Loc: Maillardville, Coquitlam,...
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: dorkus]
    #3415880 - 11/27/04 02:56 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

bwahaha

*2 thumbs up*


--------------------
?Religion is science, politics is Hollywood, and 50 cent is more influential than Dali Lama; welcome to the future?
-Fontaine

"Blessed are the peacemakers." Matthew 5:9


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,344
Loc: On the Border
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3416267 - 11/27/04 05:17 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

That is awesome.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Posts: 16,381
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Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3416569 - 11/27/04 06:25 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

:laugh:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
Being.
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Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3416864 - 11/27/04 07:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

That. Is. Awesome.  :yesnod:


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OfflineCrispyInfidel
Stranger
Registered: 10/04/04
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Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #3416924 - 11/27/04 07:58 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

hehe, that's like two years old and the original story ends differently


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: CrispyInfidel]
    #3416974 - 11/27/04 08:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

And? heh...


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: CrispyInfidel]
    #3416993 - 11/27/04 08:15 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

It's 2 days new to me. Sooooooo how does the older one end?


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Offlinewoleb
below
Registered: 09/10/03
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Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3417077 - 11/27/04 08:41 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I have this piece of writing in a book called "That Book" which is basically a collection of useless tidbits of information, although my version is slightly different to yours. The end reads like this in mine:

"So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic."

Great little bit of writing innit :smile:

Just as a side note, the first commercial to ever air on British television was for ITV, on Thursday the 22nd of September, 1955.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Is Hell Exothermic? [Re: woleb]
    #3417213 - 11/27/04 09:19 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Well! I am glad Therese came around in the sequel! :flaming:

I loved the part that postulates because no one is a memeber of all religions and anyone who is not of ones religion is going to hell, then everyone is going to hell! :nut:

Gotta love a good smart ass! :smirk:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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