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most likely alittle hazy

Registered: 05/02/03
Posts: 155
Loc: The Dark Side of the Moon
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
    #3396385 - 11/23/04 01:42 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

to start I am a very shy, self consious person, its hard for me to make friends and be open with myself. I go to school out of state where I cannot come home often. In the beginning of November I overheard my best friend talk about me while he thought I was asleep with about five other people. He tore me apart. He took every single aspect of my personality and everything I had done in the last month or so and just ripped me while others laughed and threw in bad things that they thought about me. Many of the people in the room I thought were my friends. I was devistated. I moved into an appartment with this person at the begining of the semester and it is far away from campus so I cant really leave when i want to. After it happened my mentality got completely fucked. i wouldnt be able to fall asleep because i would stay up and listen to people talking to see if they were talking about me. I became more and more withdrawn from people and even less social then I was before. when people talk to me i dont know what to say back, i rarely start conversations because i feel i will humiliate myself. My girlfriend of two years and I broke up in september and we kept talking because she is the greatest for me and i would like to think i am the same for her. when i finaly made it home last friday i asked her if she would be with me again. she then told me how she was dating someone about an hour away from here since the end of october. it struck me so hard, it was like a kick to the face when i was already down. i remember all the times she told me she was going to the town this kid lives in to visit a friend. i have horible dreams about them falling in love where i wake up and cry for hours. my closest friend in iowa (where i go to school) is leaving in a month and not comming back and I have to go live with person who shit on my feelings. i have been thinking about suicide a lot. I think about trying to find my dads hunting riffle. I have officially hit rock bottom and i am so low i dont know what i can do. at the end of this week i have to go back to living in hell while i think about someone else being with the one i love so much. i really dont think this life was made for me.

"Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be."

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Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 527
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: depressed [Re: cheech101]
    #3396455 - 11/23/04 02:03 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

You and me both then. It really is one of the most powerful, overwhelming feelings of agony a person can feel. It's not by any means a healthy attitude, and you NEED to get help.

Please do yourself a big favour and make an appointment with a doctor.

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Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
Re: depressed [Re: cheech101]
    #3397145 - 11/23/04 07:24 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Cheech, those people who said bad things about you are not your friends. You sould like a good person and those people don't deserve you. How dare they say those things about you while you were in the same room and they couldn't be sure you were asleep. I'm sure they are very insecure in themselves - having to put someone else down to boost their own self esteem and I bet every one of them is not perfect themselves. I'm sorry so many bad things have happened to you at once. Sometimes life does that and it sux. It is hard to not make generalisations and say "it's all fucked" when it is just a coincidence that they have all happened at once. Sweetie, you have made friends before and you can do it again and I bet you have had true friends too, who would never treat you like that. And you have found someone who loved you and you can do it again. Get those arseholes out of your life. I think you sound lovely, please don't do anything to harm yourself.

Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: depressed [Re: enotake2]
    #3400494 - 11/23/04 10:36 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

what can i say man? people can be cruel, and the world as well.

but trust me man, better times WILL  come , and there are lots of people out there who will be glad to have you as a real friend.

havent we all been stabbed in the back by people we thought of as friends? i know i have. Its good though, because then you learn that those people arent good enough to be part of your life. Trust me man youll meet so many more amazing people in this life.

Girls to come and go. It hurts now but trust me someday youll have some really tight friends and a wonderfull girl, and youll be so glad that these other people are out of your life.

Hope things look up for you man , heres to you



Everything I post is fiction.

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Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 10,287
Re: depressed [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3405408 - 11/24/04 08:29 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

hey man im right there with you ,,

just stay up there is always better times,

life workes in cycles usally shit tends to hit the fan ,and if you can stick though you get rewarded by a proid of goodness, it never worth suicide ,man ,just think of the best times in your life and think about how you can have those feelings again trust me theres always good poeple out there that will cheer you up, it happened to me ,and i promise it can happen to you ,

hell you can call and talk to me if you want ,just pm me ....i got a lot of stories just like that ,and ,no offence, but much worse, and im still here and happy ,happier every day.


Edited by CaptainH13 (11/24/04 08:31 PM)

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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
Re: depressed [Re: cheech101]
    #3408038 - 11/25/04 02:26 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Those people were not your friends. Also, remember that often people will put others down not because they believe what they're saying but rather because by putting others down, they try to compensate for their own failings. Don't take it personally, just move on to people who don't behave that way.

I promise you, there are good people in the world, people who will compliment your life and make it rich and interesting. They're hard to find, but you're young and have lots of time to find them.

i have been thinking about suicide a lot.

Please, please, if nothing else, as a personal favor to someone who already cares about and likes you without having even met you, before you make that final decision to end your life, talk to someone first.

Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) and talk to a counselor. You have nothing to lose by doing this; it's free and anonymous, and it would make me very happy.

Call them...

Republican Values:

1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you.
2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child.
3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer.

4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.

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¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,874
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 1 month, 17 days
Re: depressed [Re: Diploid]
    #3408099 - 11/25/04 02:51 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

"don't do that, don't think this, don't, just do not"
-unknown :p



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