|
Jalruza
Boot Lover
Registered: 10/09/04
Posts: 1,985
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
|
Unhealthy mother-son relationships
#3383519 - 11/19/04 09:46 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I was just wondering if any psychologists can share their input on what psychological aligments result from this.
First i am not talking about the kind of relationship where your mother openly dispises you and neglects, such as in teen prgegancy parenting - mothers are simply immature to have kids
No am i talking about hidden subconsious glitches. Even tho from outside you might get on with your mother on the inside there is tension.
Now. Lets say that to develop a healthy mature nervous system you must be brought up by your natural parents, be able to leave nest and support your life by yourself.
if you can not 'get a grip' , if you still living with your parnets when you 25 and with higher ed. and unable to find job, unable to live independnly, YOUR emotional maturity is incomplete and halted. YOUR MOTHERS mission is incomplete - mothers are programmed to raise children so that they can eneter life on their own. In such case there is subconsios tension between mother and son. Mother subconsiosly worry too much about their children. Which AFFECTS children subconsiosly too.
Lets hear some examples.
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/3364930/an/0/page/0 (read last page)
I had unconsious tension with my mother for as long as i can remember. I come from a decent family and i dont think its down to bad childhood.
From the early age i remember i feared do discuss my sexual development with her. Whenever she asked me if i have a girdfriend in school i would get EXTREEMLY embarassed for some reason. Back then i thought it was normal. Now things emerge in a different light.
My mother always wanted to control me 100%. Fixed time where and when. Whom i spend my time with, when i get home. ______________ Funny thing i just remembered: whenevr i for example was heaving a good fun in a company of good friends, ESPECIALLY in mixed gender company, and for example i called mom, as soon as she heard that i was having fun, and there were girls gigling in the back ground I COULD SENSE she started heating up and loosing control. Her voice sounded exposed and agitated, she would try to stop me and tell me what to do and not to do.
A similar reaction can be obseved during a thing called jeloucy between healthy partners.
Interesting. VERY interesting. ___________________________________________
What i wear, she thinks she knows best what looks good on me. She used to cut my hear in a fashin she likes.
Now i know all of these things can be seen in healthy family. What worries me is me. It feels like my mother has a grip on my heart, on my core being, and i feel like my oblimical cord is still uncut and connected to my mother or im unborn.
Say WOMAN. What is the first thing that comes up into your mind? A subject with mature, healthy developed sexuality will imagne his ideal sexual partner. In my case my mother comes into my imagination.
When was about 6 - 12 I used obsess and phob about my mothers location all the time. Whenever she was not at home i used be obsessed thinking that something might happen to her. I used to spend hours by the window waiting for her to come home.
Each soul has its distinct vibe and frequency of being. Now days I find myslef thinking in my mothers vibes. Especially negative thought - they sound in my head as if they were said by my mother.
And of course tripping. How can i forget tripping. I remember my strong DMT trip. I was feeling typical naked Adam and Eve syndrome and i remember beeing drawn to a state where i was terrified that my mother will find out i was tripping.
It felt like coming into age, reach for outside in the world of DMT and i wasnt ready t do that, if my mother finds out she will dominate me. Thoughts like that.
Lets not forget that myth where this man falls in love with his mother, and abandons his life true long friend and lover. There is something important about that i forgot then name and im too stoned to search right ow, perhaps someone will refresh my memory?
Anyway, ideas anyone?
-------------------- Time keeps ticking and running away And It's taking us fast to a brand new free dimension Too cool to mention well that's the intention But some of us too dame blind to see Jesus is the King Volume I Jesus is the King Volume II Shroomery MSN club I'm talking to aliens! Volcano Vap and Brain Chakras Hilary Duff!!
|
reflectedlight
in town untilthe blood flows
Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 926
Loc: aether
|
Re: Unhealthy mother-son relationships [Re: Jalruza]
#3384539 - 11/19/04 01:49 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Get as far away from your mother as possible. Take alot of drugs, find a girl and forget about your mom.
-------------------- at this point i think we can be relatively certain seperation exists as a fallacy of finite perception, and the only barrier to infinite creativity is a preimposed notion of certainty and artificial conditioning. nothing is without origin
|
thelion
newbie
Registered: 09/05/04
Posts: 63
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
|
Re: Unhealthy mother-son relationships [Re: reflectedlight]
#3385427 - 11/19/04 04:42 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
reflectedlight said: Get as far away from your mother as possible. Take alot of drugs, find a girl and forget about your mom.
Does this really work as prescribed?
I also have a shitty relationship but with both of my parents. I can't tell which is worse at times. My mother is cold most of the time or just to over the top or she is just subservient to my father which bugs the crap out of me. Why? Becouse she tries to compensate for getting my dad to spend lots of money which he makes...Its like she kisses ass becouse she knows she needs to be grateful and thats how she does it. My father is the same way but in a different way. He will kiss your ass till you turn blue and then unleash his real "I am better then you" personality which is dreadful. Its just awful, the guy never really listens becouse he is just so cought up in his own world.
Wow...we just had a tiny blowup here...yes I know...but offered me some ham. I guess its a consolation for spitting the truth no matter how ugly it gets. I know I spit the truth, thats why so many hate me.
I'll be back.
|
PopeHypocriteIII
Stranger
Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 104
Loc: 123 Fake Street, Nonexist...
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
|
Re: Unhealthy mother-son relationships [Re: thelion]
#3395702 - 11/22/04 08:52 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
With regard to the myth you mentioned: you might be talking about Oedipus. Check a biography of Ed Gein - I'm not saying your situation is similar, just that you might find his psychological makeup interesting. Also, listen to 'Orestes' by A Perfect Circle (from Mer de Noms). Anyway, are you a single child? I have a friend who is a single child and she has very domineering parents. If it's a sufficiently consistent trend, I think I'll label it 'Single Child Syndrome' and have it recognised as a psychological disorder. End joke. Edit: meant to reply to first post.
Edited by PopeHypocriteIII (11/22/04 08:53 PM)
|
oceansize
fuckin' right.
Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 216
Last seen: 17 years, 5 months
|
|
"Iron John" by Robert Bly
comparative mythology + 'coming of age' psychology, I'd highly recommend it to anyone with interest in this thread
-------------------- "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh." - Friedrich Nietzsche
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Unhealthy mother-son relationships [Re: Jalruza]
#3396557 - 11/23/04 12:38 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Your relationship with your mother basically determines your relationship with every other woman during your life.
|
Super_Blunt
Candyman
Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 3,140
|
Re: Unhealthy mother-son relationships [Re: reflectedlight]
#3396640 - 11/23/04 01:01 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
reflectedlight said: Get as far away from your mother as possible. Take alot of drugs, find a girl and forget about your mom.
Not sure if this is good or bad advice
--------------------
|
|