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beatlebangboy
Absinthe-ian
Registered: 07/31/03
Posts: 2,354
Loc: Bum Fuck Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Funniest Joke
#2832821 - 06/27/04 08:46 AM (19 years, 9 months ago) |
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With all the troubles in the world today, I think we need a good laugh. Put down one or two of the funniest jokes you know. Racial and religious jokes aren't funny, so don't post'em. Here are my 2 favorites: Q. How do you know if you satisfied your woman ? A. When you wake up in the morning, your face feels like a glazed donut. Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A. Full!
-------------------- Check out my tunes. You will be better off for it. www.myspace.com/beatlebangboy
Edited by beatlebangboy (06/27/04 09:08 AM)
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goobler
Reanimated
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
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Revelation
ॐ
Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,135
Loc: heart cave
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Quote:
beatlebangboy said: Racial and religious jokes aren't funny, so don't post'em.
But jokes about fatties are? Well sir, I beg to differ.
Q. Why did so many black people die in vietnam? A. Because when the allies shouted "Get down!" they all started dancing.
*silence*
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newuser1492
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
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Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse? They like the part when the hooker gives the money back.
What is a Jews biggest dilemma? Free pork
What did the little German boy get for his birthday? Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic
Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Quote:
Q. Why did so many black people die in vietnam? A. Because when the allies shouted "Get down!" they all started dancing.
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beatlebangboy
Absinthe-ian
Registered: 07/31/03
Posts: 2,354
Loc: Bum Fuck Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Quote:
Revelation said:
Quote:
beatlebangboy said: Racial and religious jokes aren't funny, so don't post'em.
But jokes about fatties are? Well sir, I beg to differ.
Valid point there my friend, valid point. On with the jokes.
-------------------- Check out my tunes. You will be better off for it. www.myspace.com/beatlebangboy
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SKINNYDOGGY
synth junky
Registered: 01/27/02
Posts: 353
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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Q: What is 12 inches and can make a woman scream all night long
A: A stillborn
-------------------- Feels Like Heaven Taste Like Shit
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Sev
Astropath
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 1,426
Loc: NY
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Oh, that's not half as tasteless as this:
q: What's red and slimy and crawls up your leg? a: A homesick abortion.
-------------------- "Do we want the stars? We can have them. Can we borrow cups of fire from the sun? We can and must and light the world." --"On the Shoulders of Giants", Ray Bradbury All of my posts are full of fiction and blatant lies.
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Ripple
Ripple
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Sev]
#2833812 - 06/27/04 02:55 PM (19 years, 9 months ago) |
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both are nasty
-------------------- The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Ripple]
#2833822 - 06/27/04 03:00 PM (19 years, 9 months ago) |
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i agree
but there a little funny
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Pat Bateman, VP
Dr. House's Inspiration
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 50,876
Loc: Inconceivable opulence
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Quote:
cb9fl said:
What is a Jews biggest dilemma? Free pork
Magnificent
-------------------- Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No, says the man in Washington; it belongs to the poor. No, says the man in the Vatican; it belongs to God. No, says the man in Moscow; it belongs to everyone. I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture. - Andrew Ryan
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Boom
just a tester
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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How do you turn a fox into a whale?
Marry her.
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Pat Bateman, VP
Dr. House's Inspiration
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 50,876
Loc: Inconceivable opulence
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Boom]
#3335203 - 11/08/04 10:25 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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this isn't actually a joke, but it sounds funny:
i like my THC with a little oxygen
-------------------- Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No, says the man in Washington; it belongs to the poor. No, says the man in the Vatican; it belongs to God. No, says the man in Moscow; it belongs to everyone. I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture. - Andrew Ryan
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fearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Loc:
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fearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Loc:
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: fearfect]
#3335318 - 11/08/04 10:48 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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why can't hellen keller drive?
because she's a woman
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Pathos
A million pieces
Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 1,045
Loc: Under the stairs
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: fearfect]
#3335382 - 11/08/04 11:03 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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whats worse than 100 dead babies in a garbage can?
1 dead baby in 100 garbage cans
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daimyo
Monticello
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: fearfect]
#3335410 - 11/08/04 11:10 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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"If the guy was poor, I would give it back." ---Yogi Berra, when asked what he would do if he found a million dollars
A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself.
After many years, even that became so monotonous that he couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without any happiness, he started to lose his sanity. One morning, as he is lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a ship in the distance. He quickly starts a fire then throws wet seaweed on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The ship starts to come his way!
He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be saved! The first thing I want is to take a long, hot shower. Then they're going to give me some clothes and I'm going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with, then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She'll start to take off her clothes and she'll be wearing red silk panties!"
At this, he starts to get an erection. He slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I lied about the ship!"
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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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countryboysmoker
Stranger
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 80
Last seen: 19 years, 4 months
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Re: Funniest Joke [Re: Pathos]
#3335413 - 11/08/04 11:10 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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How do you get 100 babies in a garbage sack?
blender....
How do you get them out?
doritoes
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Pathos
A million pieces
Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 1,045
Loc: Under the stairs
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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Randolph_Carter
НơĻ?ĢΉōsŧ
Registered: 06/13/00
Posts: 29,281
Loc: Shroomery B-list.
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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Baby seal walks into a club.
-------------------- "..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street." Gibson Nuke baby seals for Jesus! (This has been a +1 production.)
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