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InvisiblePat Bateman, VP
Dr. House's Inspiration
Female User Gallery

Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 50,876
Loc: Inconceivable opulence
Religious Jokes (don't be dicks)
    #3335216 - 11/09/04 12:28 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I love religious jokes, i was brought up catholic and have always

hated it. Please i implore you, make fun of religions


please nothing too serious, that's not cool


words not to use: the n-word, sand n-word, towel-head, slant,
et cetera


--------------------
Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
No, says the man in Washington; it belongs to the poor.
No, says the man in the Vatican; it belongs to God.
No, says the man in Moscow; it belongs to everyone.

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something
different. I chose the impossible. I chose...
Rapture.
-  Andrew Ryan

Formula: 0


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OfflineToTheSummit
peregrinus
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/23/99
Posts: 9,065
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 1 day, 50 minutes
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335226 - 11/09/04 12:31 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Q: Why do you always take two Mormons fishing with you?
A: Because if you only bring one he'll drink all your beer.


--------------------
You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!


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OfflineGenius
Shroomologist
Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 168
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335229 - 11/09/04 12:31 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I related to jesus.


--------------------
Rate me and god will love you.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
Danger Man

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 93,269
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335238 - 11/09/04 12:33 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Why did the Jews wander the desert for 40 years?
Because they heard someone lost a quarter there! :grin:


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OfflineDark_Empty_Void
A girl lost inthe city

Registered: 11/06/04
Posts: 37
Loc: City of Sin
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Le_Canard]
    #3335248 - 11/09/04 12:35 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

how do you get a catholic nun pregnant.....dress her up like an altar boy


--------------------
Blue monkey in a blender, red blood on the walls!


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
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Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335266 - 11/09/04 12:39 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

who was the first Jewish baker?


adolf hitler


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
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Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
Loc: PNW
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Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335271 - 11/09/04 12:39 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

why are Jews noses so big?



because air is free


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
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Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
Loc: PNW
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Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335274 - 11/09/04 12:40 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

how do you fit 10,000 jews in a VW bug?



2 in each seat and the rest in the ashtray


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
Loc: PNW
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Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335279 - 11/09/04 12:40 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

forgive all my jewish jokes, i grew up in NY, its not all my fault!!


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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InvisibleBoom
Supervisor
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,245
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Psilygirl]
    #3335280 - 11/09/04 12:40 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza?





Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven....


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
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Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
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Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Boom]
    #3335287 - 11/09/04 12:42 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

HAHAHA

What's the difference between a pizza and a black person?

A pizza can feed a family of four.


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
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Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Psilygirl]
    #3335289 - 11/09/04 12:42 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

there were alot of black people in NY, too :tongue:


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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InvisibleBoom
Supervisor
Male

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Posts: 11,245
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Psilygirl]
    #3335300 - 11/09/04 12:45 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

and pizza jokes...


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Offlinecountryboysmoker
Stranger
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 80
Last seen: 12 years, 25 days
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Psilygirl]
    #3335309 - 11/09/04 12:46 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i like the racist joke


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Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Dark_Empty_Void]
    #3335316 - 11/09/04 12:47 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Dark_Empty_Void said:
how do you get a catholic nun pregnant.....dress her up like an altar boy




hehe


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


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OfflineBubblerBoy
local

Registered: 01/27/04
Posts: 587
Loc: Bo, CA
Last seen: 2 years, 8 days
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335334 - 11/09/04 12:51 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

how did they invent copper wire?

put a penny between two jews


--------------------
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter, bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."


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Offlinecountryboysmoker
Stranger
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 80
Last seen: 12 years, 25 days
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: BubblerBoy]
    #3335391 - 11/09/04 01:04 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

what do you call a person who believes in imaginary characters?

huh? huh?......

a christian...


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Offlinecountryboysmoker
Stranger
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 80
Last seen: 12 years, 25 days
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: countryboysmoker]
    #3335395 - 11/09/04 01:05 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

just fuckin with yall


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OfflineMister Black
smokes pot

Registered: 11/18/02
Posts: 362
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Religious Jokes (don't be dicks) [Re: Pat Bateman, VP]
    #3335639 - 11/09/04 02:24 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Why wasn't jesus born in Mexico?




They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.


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