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InvisibleNariusFractal
Sat Chit Ananda
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Registered: 12/19/02
Posts: 804
Loc: USA
I've come round, full circle
    #3328242 - 11/06/04 06:54 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

So, recently there was a girl I loved. She told me she loved me, and wasn't sleeping with anyone else. So this is monogomy for an agreed time, granted monogomy might not be your style but it was agreed upon between the two of us.
A week and half ago, she goes and sleeps with someone else. How do I react? I tell her I don't want to see her again, she's a slut.

However, I invite her over and tell her I forgive her and love her and can be her friend but nothing else.

Now, my friends will laugh. My family will wonder, "why?" and I will continue to question myself whether or not I should just throw this hoe to the curb and never talk to her again..

well in real life I continue to talk to her and be nice to her, however knowing she is a cheater.. And therefore not letting my guard down, not seeing her more than once in a while, all while being her friend no more, no less.

This song comes to mind by Tool


I don't want to be hostile.
I don't want to be dismal.
But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either.
See
I want to believe you,
and I want to trust
and I want to have faith to put away the dagger.

But you lie, cheat, and steal.
And yet
I tolerate you.
Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
while I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your praise and glory.
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
as I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your glory
while you
lie, cheat, and steal.
How can I tolerate you.

Our guilt,our blame,
I've been far too sympathetic.
Our blood, our fault.
I've been far too sympathetic.

I am not innocent.
You are not innocent.
Noone is innocent.

I will no longer tolerate you
Even if I must go down beside you.
Because,
Noone is innocent.



So today I am walking to the store and see a homeless man stumbling around the sidewalk ahead of me. He must be about 20 yards in front of me, stumbling around his beat up leather bag that's on the ground next to him, as if he's just drank a 12 pack of Natural Ice. I walk by and ask him how he's doing and pat him on the back as I pass.

This man was extremely skinny. I could feel his ribs as I patted him on the back.

At the store I gave a cigarette to a bum and chatted it up with him before heading back home.

On the way back from the store the skinny stumbler was passing me on the sidewalk. I once again asked him if he was ok and he just greeted me as if a formal passing. I really wanted to invite this guy over or help him out in someway.

As I walk by I get too nervous and don't say anything to offer help. I wonder if this moment is a test, or an opportunity, to help someone.. did I miss it?

Further down the block I go to cross the road at the cross walk, eagerly awaiting my "WALK NOW" signal. As I go to cross, a huge black Dodge Ram with a Hemi revs his engine and let's me know he's gonna turn right before I walk. I step back and let him go.

Then I take off walking and a white car who was a good 10 yards back decides he isnt' gonna honor the pedestrian's right of way, and nearly runs me over, while flicking me off and screaming an obsenity as he passed.

So I scream a 'fuck you!' back and wonder if he'll get his up and comings later. I wonder, I was nice to the bum, and why did this rude thing happen to me?
Well, don't take the world so personally, I tell myself.
However, could this act of rudeness and disregard been because I didn't invite the skinny drunk bum in for a sit and some food?

Maybe my girlfriend cheated on me because a few years ago I had sex with a girl that had a boyfriend at the time, and I knew it..

Shit adds up in the bottom.


--------------------
You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: NariusFractal]
    #3328283 - 11/06/04 07:07 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

its just one of those months (or years even). 

Are you referring to karma? like if you were nice to people then reality or other peole should be nice to you just because? 

I mean as far as common sense goes, if I'm nice to someone, theres a good chance that the same person will  be nice to me, but there is no bearing on other people because I'm nice to one person.  It seemed you are saying what happened to you was unjust or it was especially odd because you were nice to a bum on the streets.

Shit just happens, good or bad there's no need to analyze too much, unless of course you can do something about it :smile:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: NariusFractal]
    #3328319 - 11/06/04 07:18 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

I wonder, I was nice to the bum, and why did this rude thing happen to me?

Probably because it was not the bum driving the car. *doh!*


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleNariusFractal
Sat Chit Ananda
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Registered: 12/19/02
Posts: 804
Loc: USA
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: kaiowas]
    #3328320 - 11/06/04 07:19 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

true!

good point.

or is life all interconnected and every moment a product of the past?  However, you can't do anything about the past so just live now and do things according to the golden rule and hope your past karma plays out soon enough :wink:

Or, does shit just happen and you gotta accept that and navigate it, survival of the fittest style?


--------------------
You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: kaiowas]
    #3328322 - 11/06/04 07:20 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

Quote:

kaiowas said:
Shit just happens, good or bad there's no need to analyze too much, unless of course you can do something about it :smile:




^^^


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,866
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Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: kaiowas]
    #3328338 - 11/06/04 07:27 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

if you can assume if somone need your help or not, how can you know you are helping and not just helping them need more help? and is that help?

i guess what i could be saying is, you do not harm people by helping, but what if you did? is it really helping? and how would you know if it was, before you did it? trying in the present is bringign the past tense of the languga over in you beein, you can not know if you tiried, before you if so, fails at what you tried to do? if you made it, you made it? and trying was newer an issue?

again, what i might be saying is that
""Maybe my girlfriend cheated on me because a few years ago I had sex with a girl that had a boyfriend at the time, and I knew it..""

Maybe your girlfriend cheated on you because your girlfriend cheated on you?

hehe, i guess i had a point to this, if not, well..  :tongue: :thumbup:


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


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InvisibleNariusFractal
Sat Chit Ananda
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Registered: 12/19/02
Posts: 804
Loc: USA
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: Gomp]
    #3328373 - 11/06/04 07:42 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

thanks gomp that was quite enlightening

although, that system of thought means that we have no control over our lives, the series of events that play out are merely what happens.

That works for the past, but shouldn't we learn as well? I guess that goes without saying... which then hand in hand goes without saying that you should not regret, question or analyze the past to the point of guilt that impedes present situations.

but guilt is there? and if it's there, then the guilt happened? and if I analyze, then I analyzed and it's too late not too, I already got a reflection of the situation. One of many, no doubt.

So; shit happens, learn from the past, dont' take yourself too seriously, and move on ?

Seems to be the case.


--------------------
You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: NariusFractal]
    #3328379 - 11/06/04 07:50 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

"So; shit happens, learn from the past, dont' take yourself too seriously, and move on?"

:cool: :grin: :wink: :thumbup: :sun:

besides, shit has happened to all of us.  sure the form of suffering and happiness is different, but in the end we still experience them. it's all about acceptance  :heart:

the key would be to take responsibility for your feelings so you can literally chose how you feel, even when the odds are stacked against you


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,866
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Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: kaiowas]
    #3328410 - 11/06/04 08:08 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

:heart:
""although, that system of thought means that we have no control over our lives, the series of events that play out are merely what happens. ""

why? you still 'controld' what you do by doing what you do? it is that the series of events that play out are merely what happens.


and example, if you got socks a present, but had to chose between blue or red socks, if you take the blue, you did not take the red,

but since you have now gotten the blue, not the red you 'control' it to be blue rather than red, you can not really choose blue or red, you could chose blue or red,
so in this fantasy it was blue you have chosen :wink: but you did not chose it, it is merely what happend.


""So; shit happens, learn from the past, don't' take yourself too seriously, and move on ?""

or/and; stuff is happening, shit or not shit, let it be what it is, let change change and take yourself as you take yourself. 

"you are what you are and change is changing"
-unknown :P


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


Edited by Gomp (11/06/04 08:15 PM)


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InvisibleNariusFractal
Sat Chit Ananda
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Registered: 12/19/02
Posts: 804
Loc: USA
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: Gomp]
    #3328414 - 11/06/04 08:10 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

:smile:


--------------------
You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.


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OfflineDroz
Love of Life
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Registered: 10/16/00
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Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: NariusFractal]
    #3328474 - 11/06/04 08:40 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

"why? you still 'controld' what you do by doing what you do? it is that the series of events that play out are merely what happens."

If you look to what has happened and see how you could of done something a little bit different, realize that not only will you meet another person you can help. Or try to help, and that one day a person as well may help you.

Doesn't really matter if it happens or not.


--------------------
Evolution of Time.


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OfflineGomp
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Re: I've come round, full circle [Re: Droz]
    #3328482 - 11/06/04 08:47 PM (12 years, 29 days ago)

""and see how you could of done something a little bit different""

how can you see how you could of done something a little bit different, if you haven't done something a little bit different? but did it the way you did it?
:grin: :thumbup:
(again not saying you can not)


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


Edited by Gomp (11/06/04 08:48 PM)


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