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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Still feel like shit but feeling better
    #3314434 - 11/03/04 01:35 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I just am at the end of my ropes. I feel all beat up and used like a an old paper sack

I have many good things to say to others but nothing to say to myself.

People here think I am a liar and full of ego. I think I have nothing in common with young people anymore. mabey I am at the stage in life where I just don't get along with young people anymore.


I don't know what to do with myself. I have a company I really need to sell and a life time of wants that I never got. Mid life sucks big time.

Spew spew spew.......................I have tried to cope with the fact I have taken care of everybody else and not myself. Now I am lost and confused.

Money is not going to be much of a problem but I feel totally lost. Can anything satisfie me???

I think this may be my last post here at the Shroomery for awaile. I have let myself become to wrapped up in pety bullshit and kid play.

I am quite surprized by my attitude here at the shroomery. Mabey it's been a funnel for my crybaby self. I find conficts here are freshing. But I am getting fouled up inside.


Anyway...................Midlife sucks bigtime. I am not satisfied with anything. I spend far to much time at home. It's getting worse.

Frustration is getting to be a big part of driving me crazy

I think I am going crazy.............. :blush:

Really.

There is a fine line between insanity and .........Big egos??

HA hA ha ha

I am going insane me thinks

Later and peace out Shroomery
:heart:


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.


Edited by Fucknuckle (11/08/04 09:41 AM)


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,364
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3314584 - 11/03/04 01:59 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Hey Fucknuckle...

Yeah, there is some negativity here at the Shroomery, but guess what...you'll find negativity everywhere in life.  You don't have to subject yourself to it, and if you do, just find a way to deal with it internally instead of letting it gnaw at you.  Maybe instead of taking care of other people you should give yourself some love.  I'm completely serious.  Take a vacation, screw responsiblity for awhile.  The only way you'll ever be satisfied with your life is if you follow your heart.  Maybe you should make a sincere effort to do that for awhile, and see how it goes. 

Your life only sucks because you've gotten into the habit of viewing it that way.  Take charge.  If you want change, it has to come from within yourself first.  Don't fall into the pitfalls of self-indulgent thinking.  If you feel unsatisfied with your life, then change it and don't waste time dwelling on "what ifs."  We all need support and love from others and I am happy to give it, but this attitude is something that only you can tackle. 

The good news is that you can change this attitude if you have genuine desire to.  It takes effort and self-awareness, but it can be done. 

I think you're a great guy, and have offered a lot here at the Shroomery.  How many times have you given me (and countless others) sound advice?  More times then I can count.  I think that the moment is at hand for you to take initiative and evaluate your heart: what you believe to be your true nature, and what you believe to be your most compelling desires.  I'll wager a guess that you feel lost right now because you've spent all your time focused on others, which left little occasion for you to attend to your own needs.  WEll, that doesn't have to go on any longer, you just have to take a chance.  Give yourself a chance.  You deserve it.  :heart:


truly,

*me*


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: MOTH]
    #3314669 - 11/03/04 02:15 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Your one of my best friends here

And your right after devoting my entire life and efforts to others. I am feeling a little lost

Don't get me wrong I have taken good care of myself. It seems I qualify to be concidered Rich according to my accountant.

Anyway I am in need of serious change.

Thanks girlfriend


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.


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Invisiblebf6
Keep the highfive alive!

Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 3,121
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: MOTH]
    #3314671 - 11/03/04 02:16 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Don't let anyone here get to you. What you have to understand is emotion can't be read through text on a message board. It's too easy to take things out of context and then once people start arguing it gets blown WAAAAAAY out of proportion.

The ignore feature is an amazing tool.  :wink:


--------------------
The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth...

bloodflower6

Yay for Pornography!


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: bf6]
    #3314982 - 11/03/04 03:04 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I am stepping out for a few days of work and rest

I guess today those idiots kinda got to me. Mabey I stop by the shop and fire someone.......................Just kidding

See ya around in a few days


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.


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Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3315098 - 11/03/04 03:20 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Well I don't know you and you don't know me, but I send you my sincere best wishes. I know a few people who have gone/are going through mid-life, and it definitely isn't fun! But you sound like you have a solid foundation in life.

Peace & Love


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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Offlinenonoman
ambassador
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: dblaney]
    #3315474 - 11/03/04 04:33 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Fuck the young kids, I'm sure as hell not lettin' 'em run me outta here.

WTF happened anyway? I would've had your back. I enjoy your toolings of psychoslut and psilocybeingzzz.

Don't let things get you down, get a change of scenery for a few days or something. I find dipping out of town to be a good "reset button".
Sounds like you're pretty jaded with things as they stand.

I wish I was in your boat, sometimes. I'm 35 and still struggling, wishing I had a valid plan for the future. No time to get bored or overthink things, I guess. Things could be worse, my man.

We need help with the tards here, man. Do us a solid and stick around.


--------------------


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3315902 - 11/03/04 06:36 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

What do you do? maybe I could buy your buisness.

Any ways man take it easy and go sky diving or something.


--------------------




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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3316387 - 11/03/04 08:47 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

hey. you're a great guy and you give some really solid advice. i hope things work out for you and you find what you're looking for.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3316961 - 11/03/04 10:29 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Its that time of year. It gets dull out the time just seems to fade away. Its dark most the time. I feel it in my soul, This is the time of year for reflection, when spring rolls back around again you will be ready to take on what ever it is that needs be.


--------------------




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Anonymous #1

Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3317244 - 11/03/04 11:19 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

You're a good guy, I have respect for you. Just be real and stay out of the bullshit as much as you can.


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3318486 - 11/04/04 04:37 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Fucknuckle said:
People here think I am a liar and full of ego. I think I have nothing in common with young people anymore. mabey I am at the stage in life where I just don't get along with young people anymore.





you've always seemed like a cool guy to me...helped me out in some of my posts and helped me out w/ a letter in the mail :cool:...i know you are a genuine dude!! :heart:


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada Flag
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3318647 - 11/04/04 07:18 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I'm sure all that good Karma that you've accrued through helping/looking after others will one day soon envelope you like a warm blanket FN. Wasn't you that recently say that there is a time bomb ticking(or words to that effect) inside us all just waiting to fill us with joy? Believe in your own words man cauz they speak truth....
I lost my company of 8 years(had it stolen actually) and even though my income was suddenly gone i never felt freer. This was over 3 years ago, now i find myself much in the same position once more, the owner of a house that has brought me nothing but suffering, the sale of it was supposed to close on Monday but the buyers decided to cauz problems at the last moment but i'm sure things will resolve themselves and i'll be free to travel soon :smile:

:sun: :heart: :sun: :thumbup: :thumbup: :smile:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #3319303 - 11/04/04 12:23 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Thanks everyone for your support. I guess the problem really is just a very emotional mind. That is my biggest problem er.....asset. Depends on which day. Yeah I will be ok I am going thru a very hard time in my life right now. It sucks sometimes having the right answers for other but being completley lost to my own.

My wife says I suffer from Hemmingway sickness. exaclty what she means I am not to sure. But I hear it all the time.


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 64,781
Loc: 9th Dimension
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3319365 - 11/04/04 12:49 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Hey man.. it sounds like what you need is a break.. a good dose of old-fashioned love... and a trip to the forest for a few days would probably do you wonders. Get in touch with nature, get away from society and forget all your problems for a couple days, surround yourself with loving people and just BE. That always helps me to get a fresh new perspective and a new enthusiasm for life.

Wish you the best.. keep on keeping on

:sun: :heart:

Namaste


--------------------


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Invisibleswm
Stranger
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 236
Loc: Ohio
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3321003 - 11/04/04 07:40 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

You might just need a vacation.You said you had the money,so why not treat yourself?There's more to life than work,just take some time for yourself.I know you probably feel obligated to say at your company,but what good is money if your miserable?


--------------------
I can't spell and I have poor grammar.The crap I just posted is proof enough.


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3332439 - 11/08/04 08:32 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

OK an update for my friends.

I made a few changes over the weekend. Here is what I did.

First, I dropped myself from all my duties at the Homeless Shelter

Second, I asked the 20 year old kid to move out. She left yesterday with no problems. She had a comfortable place to go and a great job and plenty of cash. No worries

Third, I called all the old people I help and reassigned there needs to others.

Forth, I accepted a offer on my shop. It will leave me with enough cash to continue to live they way I do for another 5-7 years and that is if I doing nothing but nothing and rot at the computer. The deal will be final end of next week.

And I made up my mind to build art full time and pursue my guitar work.

Oh yeah I am going to Vegas in Nov for 2 weeks to give full time poker a try. BONUS

My wife is somewhat shocked. But like I told her it's better then a divorce or me hanging myself(SO TO SPEAK) She wants a new business plan rightaway. But I wont be starting anything new for a couple years. So she better try herself. I will see how long that lasts. HE he I am such a business nut. I love building from nothing


Anyway I feel better. Now I just have to let all these changes take effect. Change is very hard

New habits take months to become comfortable.

Thanks people :laugh:


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.


Edited by Fucknuckle (11/08/04 09:43 AM)


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada Flag
Re: Still feel like shit [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3332721 - 11/08/04 11:34 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Man you are REALLY on a roll, GR8 stuff  :thumbup: :thumbup:


Hopefully that roll will continue when you go to Vegas :wink:


:sun: :heart: :sun: :smile:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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