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OfflineMOoKie
member
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 119
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
Proud to Be a Bad American
    #330319 - 05/31/01 03:23 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I got this in my email:

Proud to be a BAD American!!

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-fuck-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the next four years.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know.

We need our country back!




I'd have to say I pretty much agree with all of that.



"I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" ~Patrick Henry


--------------------
"If it ain't one thing, then it's the other. Any cause that crosses your path; your heart bleeds for anyone's brother. I've got to tell you you're a pain in the ass."      Oingo Boingo!


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InvisibleMeilikhios
God of Love andEcstasy
Registered: 05/20/01
Posts: 318
Loc: Nysa
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: MOoKie]
    #330384 - 05/31/01 05:45 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING US-AMERICAN

1. You can claim your country is the best, and really believe it.

2. You can think that American Football is a sport for tough men, while the rest of the world laughs its head off over the monkey suits, panties and shoulderpads taken out of big women's bra's.

3. You can claim being the best democracy while screwing up your own elections.

4. You can assert you are an international super power and elect a president who was an actor in B-films.

5. You get to classify McDonalds and Coca Cola as culture.

6. You can criticise China, Turkey and Iran for violating human rights but still legally have capital punishment.

7. You can think that Pharaos ruled over France and nobody will think you are a nitwit.

8. You can be extremely fat or extremely thin, spend 25% of your income on plastic surgery, have two shrinks, do Landmark and be a Scientology fanatic and people will still consider you sane.

9. You can go to Europe for a holiday.

10. Be hysterical bout a woman's naked breasts on TV and enjoy live killing on CNN.




--------------------
" Que l'illusion du ph?nix te terrasse !" - Phoenix Ikki


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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Meilikhios]
    #330457 - 05/31/01 08:42 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like your a bit jealous...can't blame you though, i would be too. What country do you live in? do they have cars yet?

Relax, Relax, Relax.....it's just a little pin prick * there'll be no more AARRGGHHH!!!! but you may feel a little sick.....


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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InvisibleMeilikhios
God of Love andEcstasy
Registered: 05/20/01
Posts: 318
Loc: Nysa
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Innvertigo]
    #330484 - 05/31/01 09:57 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Relax man,

can't you take a little joke ?

The problem with you yanks (well most of you) is you always take jokes about the US too personally, don't you have a bit of sense of humour ?

The problem with you Innvertigo is you seem to be suffering from an advanced and debilitating form of chronic psittacism("you're jealous, you're jealous, you're jealous, croak, you're jealous, you're jealous, you're jealous, croak", that's practically all you could come up with about anyone criticizing (or just making a joke about ) the US on your previous posts).

But don't worry i also have a list for being Dutch, Belgian, English, Scottish, French, Italian, Norwegian and German, but that wouldn't fit very well with the subject of this post (maybe next time).

Namaste.

PS:

of course we don't have cars yet (but hey after all who does have cars on this planet except united-statians ? ), we don't even have Innvertigo (thank God) !








--------------------
" Que l'illusion du ph?nix te terrasse !" - Phoenix Ikki


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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Meilikhios]
    #330524 - 05/31/01 11:22 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

"i also have a list for being Dutch, Belgian, English, Scottish, French, Italian, Norwegian and German"

Then what country do you come from?

"The problem with you yanks (well most of you) is you always take jokes about the US too personally, don't you have a bit of sense of humour ? "

Sure us Yanks have a sense of humor...we laugh at other countries just like you do.

"can't you take a little joke ? "

Did you take my statement as taking it personal? All i have to say is me, as most americans, can give a rats ass what other countries think of us and that's what makes many around the world mad at us. I just sit back and chuckle when countries who can't even run their small pathetic countries while at the same time trying to pick apart the United States. This is not to say that all countries suck. They don't. I've been to many different countries around the world and have found some good things about each. I love Canada because there is so much outside stuff you can do, ie: hunting, fishing, camping etc. I loved Mexico for the cuture though i would never live there. I've been to many European countries and it was ok..However England was unimpressive...hell i've even been in the middle east. My point is i like other countries it's just i like the United States better. It's as simple as that.

"of course we don't have cars yet (but hey after all who does have cars on this planet except united-statians ? )"

Relax man...can't you take a joke?.....Talk about sensative..sheesh!!

Relax, Relax, Relax.....it's just a little pin prick * there'll be no more AARRGGHHH!!!! but you may feel a little sick.....


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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OfflineGod_Killer
enthusiast
Registered: 04/03/01
Posts: 137
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: MOoKie]
    #330783 - 05/31/01 04:56 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I agree with quite a bit of that stuff,except for the part about the cops. Cops are the scum of the earth. I don't know why it is that if ya give somebody a badge and a gun they turn into jack booted thugs. Those goofy $#%@!!!#$ bullies will shoot you at the drop of a hat. They just ain't right.

Live long and prosper. www.chrononhotonthologos.com/lawnotes/repvsdem.htm


--------------------
Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.-Benjamin Franklin


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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: God_Killer]
    #331074 - 05/31/01 10:42 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

yeah they let killers and pedafiles go but make me look like the scum of the Earth when i get clocked doing 5 over the speed limit....i don't respect cops..at least the asshole ones

Relax, Relax, Relax.....it's just a little pin prick * there'll be no more AARRGGHHH!!!! but you may feel a little sick.....


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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InvisibleAgent Cooper
veteran

Registered: 08/04/00
Posts: 210
Loc: right behind you
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: MOoKie]
    #331555 - 06/01/01 01:36 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

damn, I never realized how ignorant George Carlin was.



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InvisibleHarry_Ballsonia
journeyman
Registered: 04/25/01
Posts: 45
Loc: Florida
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Agent Cooper]
    #331642 - 06/01/01 03:39 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Carlin is normally a flamming liberal i'm quite surprised. What don't you agree with the list above?

The world is full of idiots and it's up to me to kill them


--------------------
There are 2 things in life i enjoy....sex and ah?....well one thing i guess.............................


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InvisibleCaptain Jack
i [heart] you

Registered: 01/24/00
Posts: 4,113
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Agent Cooper]
    #332472 - 06/02/01 05:19 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I'm pretty sure this list has nothing to do with George Carlin.

http://www.captainjackmusic.com


--------------------
-
Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.


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OfflineMOoKie
member
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 119
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Captain Jack]
    #332662 - 06/02/01 10:48 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I don't think that it was Carlin, I just copied it from my email. I did a search and found something similar to this that was definetely not him.



--------------------
"If it ain't one thing, then it's the other. Any cause that crosses your path; your heart bleeds for anyone's brother. I've got to tell you you're a pain in the ass."      Oingo Boingo!


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Offlinehongus
somebody
Registered: 07/07/00
Posts: 264
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: MOoKie]
    #332672 - 06/02/01 11:01 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

there are good cops and there are bad cops

oOo


--------------------
FOR LEASE: Up to 400 characters signature lot. Single owner. Great commercial opportunity.


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InvisibleAgent Cooper
veteran

Registered: 08/04/00
Posts: 210
Loc: right behind you
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: hongus]
    #333128 - 06/03/01 03:40 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

oh, nevermind then.
Anyone like Bill Hicks?



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OfflineGod_Killer
enthusiast
Registered: 04/03/01
Posts: 137
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: hongus]
    #334008 - 06/04/01 01:42 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Yes but there are about 500 bad uns for every good one. Most of em are bullies that want to push ya around etc.

Live long and prosper. www.chrononhotonthologos.com/lawnotes/repvsdem.htm


--------------------
Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.-Benjamin Franklin


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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: God_Killer]
    #334124 - 06/04/01 04:17 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

don't forget the Cops that got beat up in high school trying to get back at society by beating up those that can't defend themselves.

Relax, Relax, Relax.....it's just a little pin prick * there'll be no more AARRGGHHH!!!! but you may feel a little sick.....


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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InvisibleKid
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 07/22/00
Posts: 2,365
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Innvertigo]
    #334159 - 06/04/01 04:55 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

quit pickin on cops... oh wait you guys are in the US, I've seen that show about your cops, what's it called again... ;-)... they're real fuckheads, but I would be too in a country full of crack smokin niggers and portable meth labs and high speed pursuits and so forth.

ever seen the Canadian equivalent to Cops? talk about tame. Even in potentially violent situations the cops are so calm. "Alright sir, so I'm going to arrest you now for assault with a deadly weapon, please put your hands behind your back." Only once in a while do they profile the cops coming out with some sweet weaponry or using violence.



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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Kid]
    #334236 - 06/04/01 06:32 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

maybe it's just that Canadians are pussies? j/k

After all you are the 51st state.

Relax, Relax, Relax.....it's just a little pin prick * there'll be no more AARRGGHHH!!!! but you may feel a little sick.....


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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InvisibleKid
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 07/22/00
Posts: 2,365
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Innvertigo]
    #334467 - 06/04/01 10:16 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I think it has more to do with the fact that cops don't have to worry about people walking around with guns. Oh yeah, and all the immigrants here are too dumb to recognize a police officer until they have cuffs on them. Nah fuck I dunno, I'm sure that Scarberia is a tough neighborhood to work in. My buddy's brother just recently became a cop, and he's a real racist asshole (I mean he's far worse than me, at least I don't speak racistly, I confine it to text), and he volunteered to work in Scarberia because it's the hardest part of the city to work.

> After all you are the 51st state.

Yeah yeah yeah whatever



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OfflineMOoKie
member
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 119
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Kid]
    #334530 - 06/04/01 11:15 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I'm just glad I don't have to be the first on the scene of an accident.



--------------------
"If it ain't one thing, then it's the other. Any cause that crosses your path; your heart bleeds for anyone's brother. I've got to tell you you're a pain in the ass."      Oingo Boingo!


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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Proud to Be a Bad American [Re: Kid]
    #334932 - 06/05/01 08:26 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

"Yeah yeah yeah whatever"

I knew that would get to ya...he he..We had a roomate in college that was from Sarnia, Ont and we used to screw with him all the time about his accent and mention the ol' 51st state..it drove him crazy. He was a cool guy though, a touch crazy if you ask me.

Relax, Relax, Relax.....it's just a little pin prick * there'll be no more AARRGGHHH!!!! but you may feel a little sick.....


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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