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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people?
    #3300648 - 10/31/04 10:53 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

You know when you hear someone induldging in a self pity party, the cries of "life isn't fair, why do bad things always happen to me?, why can't I ever catch a break, I'll never be good enough, wah wah wah"

Speak from remembering when you found yourself in one or what you think they offer a person who you observe being stuck in one. I'm talking about the kind that last for weeks, months, years or a life time.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300656 - 10/31/04 10:56 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

they serve somone with comfort that they dont have to be responsable for their own emotions and happiness.

most people who do this (i speak from my own experience as i threw many a pity party) make other people responsable for their hapiness. when something goes awry they freak out like it is a horrible injustice that someone else is not following THEIR plan.

woot


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Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: Todcasil]
    #3300662 - 10/31/04 11:00 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

ahhhhhhh, so you see that balming others can be a source of comfort, hmmmmmm interesting. I never looked at that one that way,

more more more


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300664 - 10/31/04 11:03 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

I see, the action of blaming others takes the weight of repsoncibility off ones shoulders. That explains a lot.

more more more


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300672 - 10/31/04 11:07 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

lol, thats how it was for me anyways, but misery loves company and i had/have friends who are the same way, i can tell they feel like they are all on there own if for someoreason they are responsiable for their hapiness/emotions... it makes them feel cold and alone.

by crying and asking why me and such, they are talking to someone. by blaming their hapiness on someone or something then you cant help but feel comfortable knowing it wasnt your fault. though it is.

poor people


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



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OfflineGomp
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: Todcasil]
    #3300692 - 10/31/04 11:18 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

being depressed, is not a state of mind, it is no mind, if you say you are depressed, you can write of all your thoughts as depressing, hence taking over the mind?

i knew of shit, but as soon i let go of the "i need proof" part, i kinda vent from depression, to thinking. don't know exactly how I'm saying, but you kinda kill your ego :P

"life isn't fair, why do bad things always happen to me?, why can't I ever catch a break, I'll never be good enough, wah wah wah"
is the depression talking, not 'you'? :P


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Disclaimer!?


Edited by Gomp (10/31/04 11:20 AM)


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: Gomp]
    #3300695 - 10/31/04 11:21 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

that's interesting gomp, you see the depressing thoughts coming from an alter egos voice and how you can spearate it from another sense of yourself, hmmmmmm interesting again. You are saying, when this happens people let the alter ego that is depressed take over and run the show.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300696 - 10/31/04 11:21 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Read the post I made about the Freudian model of ID, Ego, and Super Ego, in "Evil People" thread. Those people who're constantly stuck in self indulgent pity parties have overgrown Superegos.



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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300700 - 10/31/04 11:24 AM (13 years, 20 days ago)

I used to do this shit all the time. Like you said, it's self-indulgent. It brought sympathy from others, and helped me avoid the responsibility of dealing with my problems. Gradually, I've been able to go from "Oh woe is me!" to "Ok, I've got a problem. What am I going to do about it?" I needed to realize that while sympathy may feel comforting, it won't solve my problems.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300802 - 10/31/04 12:12 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Silver thats a heathly constuctive attitude. if you figured it out by your age, the world will be your Oyster and you'll be turning irritating grains of sand that get under your skin into pearls left and right.

My sister is 34 and living in an ongoing self indulgent pity party. ( I get them for minutes at a time, but then do the turn around.

What is the magic that takes one from blame to self responcibility? How come some capture it and others never seem to?

Skorpio what gomp was saying and what I interpreted it to be an alter ego, you are saying is an over grown super ego, hmmm

Is that the equlivalent of an ego sooooo HUGE that it feels it should have the greatest of it all that when it can't, the pity party settles in and says, "If i can't have , do and be it all, then I will have NOTHING! LOL

I like this topic, keep rolling with it guys-------good stuff!


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OfflineFrog
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300858 - 10/31/04 01:05 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Because then you don't have to take responsibility for your actions. If someone does something unfair, you can react to that and say how unfair, and you can do anything in response, even if bad, but it's okay, because it was caused by something someone else did. You can perpetuate the wrong done to you everything time you do something bad. You get to be a victim, and of course, it's never the victim's fault. It's always someone else's fault. Poor me, poor me, see what they did to me?

Well, this is the mindset I think I was in about 18 years ago, when I finally got some counseling. It was really hard to take responsibility for my actions. I didn't like having to blame myself for where I was. I wanted to blame what others had done to me for why I had done the things I had done.

If I had to take responsibility, then I only had myself to blame, no one else. That's hard.

The good part is once you start taking responsibility for why you are where you are, you also realize that you can make choices to land yourself in a better spot.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3300860 - 10/31/04 01:14 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

WHAT CALMING THE MIND IS ALL ABOUT
WHAT MEDITATION IS FOR
IS TO COOL YOU OUT SO YOU
RE-MEMBER

SO YOU SEE HOW IT ALL IS
TRY SITTING AROUND WHEN YOU'RE FULL OF SELF-PITY
YOU SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF YOUR PUJA TABLE
AND YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF MEHER BABA
AND HE'S SMILING AT YOU LIKE HE'S
THE OTHER MARX BROTHER AND HE'S SAYING :
LET ME HELP YOU
OH, I WISH YOU WOULD, MEHER BABA
IT'S SO HARD

(WOW ! DIG THAT SELF-PITY ISN'T THAT EXQUISITE
FULL BLOOM ! WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY COLOR IT MUST BE A NEW BRAND OF SELF-PITY
A PARTICULARLY FRAGRANT VARIETY I JUST REALLY WANT TO SMELL THAT ONE
TO SIT AND SMELL IT FOR EVER SO LO,G. SUCH A GOOD ONE)

I MEAN : I WISH I COULD HAVE TIME TO GROOVE W/
YOU BUT I'VE GOT TO GET ON W/ LIFE.
I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO TODAY.

ALL RIGHT BABA !
I'LL SIT WITH YOU FOR ONE MINUTE. OKAY ?
HERE WE ARE. YOU'VE GOT ONE MINUTE.
DO YOUR THING. FORTY SECONDS LEFT !


this is from "remember be here now"

self pity is likeart! you make it for yourself and for others to see to invoke a reaction, all emotions in this way are like art, you make it it comes from "you" and then you see it and say, oh wow this is so pretty or this is so horrible, that its beautiful.

woo


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineF0SS1L
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Re: How do Self Indulgent Pity Parties serve people? [Re: Todcasil]
    #3301398 - 10/31/04 05:11 PM (13 years, 19 days ago)

Hmmm. I know exactly what your talking about. Weird thing is that last time I got really depressed I blamed myself for everything.


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That's me on the street with a violin under my chin. Playing with a grin, singing gibberish.


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