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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 26,947
Loc: Iceland
Total Clarity
    #3272484 - 10/24/04 08:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

wierd and fantastic.

Ive been on a bit of a drug binge this weekend, did some cocaine, and a hippy flip the following day.

This morning (sunday) i woke up feeling great. I got up, had a shower, and came back into my room. Everything seemed so clear, i felt vibrant, rested, happy (even though i had slept for like 3 hours)

i really felt like i was noticing my surroundings for the first time in a long time, i felt connected with myself and my environment, whatever that means exactly.

I guess you could say its the first time in a while that ive really known, or rememberd, who i am.

Anyways i put on a CD that my friend had burned for me the previous night, a song came on, called friends blues by MURS (download it)

anyways, it was just unreal. I honestly almost fell to my knees. I was crying, but with a big grin on my face, for quite a while i was just sort of sobbing and laughing. I said a prayer, like compulsively without thinking, just "thank you GOD!"

i can honestly say i have never been so helplessly, powerfully, emotionally blown away by music before. It was like a wake up call, a cold shower, i dunno.

maybe the lyrics of the song will help clarify why this was so powerfull to me at the time, although you really need to hear it to feel it.
(some of you know ive been doing some relatively stupid stuff lately)

"Now when you're young, death can make you aware of your mortality
At times we feel invincible, lose sight of reality"

"So celebrate the occasion, just breathing is amazin'
To see the sun rise and set, at a days end
A chance to fix mistakes that we regret makin'
Find joy in the simple things, no time for complainin'
The sun will shine, it can't always be rainin'
I know it hurts deep, but you must maintain it"

" I  can't live in fear, and I can't live here
Forever, so I treasure every moment"

ah anyways, it was a wierd experience, definatly felt the touch of something very much outside of my own ego-identity. It wasnt like some kind of a concious decision to change my life, to fix my mistakes (like the moonshoes challenge was) 

rather it was just a dropping away of... something... i dunno, it was like, for some undeterminate amount of time i was somewhere else (mentally), but now, suddenly im here again, and its a much better place to be.

And i dont intend to leave again any time soon.

I spent the day working, cleaning the house, raking the leaves, laundry, exercising, all that kind of shit, just feel very at peace and , well happy. My enthusiasm for life has been renewed, i actually look forward to school tommorow.



Just wanted to share this with you, it was seriously a very awesome and intense moment, i cant remember the last time ive felt such pure emotion, let alone been reduced to tears by a song.


To summarize.... Im feelin' good duhnuhnuhnuhnuh ....  (james brown)

im considering the possibility that this experience was another one of them freaky 'downloads' for those familiar with the term. If not, dont worry about it thats beside the point

:tongue2:


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,866
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3272535 - 10/24/04 08:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

or a upload? :P

"just breathing is amazing"
-MURS

:heart:
amazing fellings is indeed amazing (?) :P


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3272807 - 10/24/04 09:32 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

:thumbup: I had a music inspired moment this week end too. It was great!

Wish I new the lyrics to share them.

I enjoyed your story!


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,946
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3272904 - 10/24/04 09:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

As odd as it sounds, the most beautiful moments can be experienced when the mind is dominated into stillness, and silence; be it by force of drug binges or meditation.

:wink:


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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 26,947
Loc: Iceland
Re: Total Clarity [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3273123 - 10/24/04 10:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

yeah im not entirely sure to what extent this experience was the result of the weekend of drug use, but i do know i woke up this morning with absolutely no desire to do any drugs, even tho the weekend was good.
wasnt hung over or feeling after effects of any kind really, just woke up feeling charged and ready to get back on the grind with a vengeance...


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineWhiteRussian
The Silence islouder then youthink
Registered: 06/23/04
Posts: 441
Loc: In your head :P
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3273273 - 10/24/04 11:39 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Hell yeah man, just dont lose it now :smile:


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aaaaaahhhhh


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 26,947
Loc: Iceland
Re: Total Clarity [Re: WhiteRussian]
    #3273712 - 10/25/04 01:26 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

thats the key eh russian?

but sadly i will undoubteldy lose it, many times, like i have in the past, but it always seems to come back, and usually harder and better than before.

Im considering the theory that personal power/energy/motivation goes in waves, where each crest is followed by a trough (a low point) which is then followed by a crest that was bigger than the previous one. Eventually the crest of one wave will be so fantastically high that i will launch into space and join space dragon at the banquet of gods, or something.

:grin:


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Registered: 08/09/99
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3273719 - 10/25/04 01:29 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

its biological.

because of your drug binge, when you were loosed back into your regular personality, its like having a ballon all inflated and then it letting it go to fly all over the room (the drug binge) and then you blow back up to a comfortable size, and can appriciate it much more (the comfort and the clarity).

just like a male orgasm!


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Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 26,947
Loc: Iceland
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3273818 - 10/25/04 02:09 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

love the metaphors todcasil.

Life is composed of two things

1. getting your grind on (blowing up the balloon)

and

2. getting your swerve on (letting it empty out and go nuts)

and if my theory holds true, each grind period stretches the balloons capactiy a little further, allowing you to eventually let it go in the ultimate swerve!

or maybe you grind it to much and it pops, or something

that shit is deep, yo

:stoned:


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
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Last seen: 3 years, 18 days
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3274472 - 10/25/04 08:40 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

i know man, i was blowing my own fucking mind last night!

woop


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Invisiblepsyka
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Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3274494 - 10/25/04 09:06 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

So I guess the moral of the story is dont blow too much or you might pop your balloon?


--------------------
As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.



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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,851
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 month, 15 days
Re: Total Clarity [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3274550 - 10/25/04 09:57 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Im considering the theory that personal power/energy/motivation goes in waves, where each crest is followed by a trough (a low point) which is then followed by a crest that was bigger than the previous one. Eventually the crest of one wave will be so fantastically high that i will launch into space and join space dragon at the banquet of gods, or something.

:grin:




Well, not only does it progress in waves, it also either spirals upwards or spirals downwards.... always a high point and a low point within that particular section. The trick is to push upwards so that your low points aren't anywhere near low at all. :grin:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineWhiteRussian
The Silence islouder then youthink
Registered: 06/23/04
Posts: 441
Loc: In your head :P
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Total Clarity [Re: fireworks_god]
    #3275145 - 10/25/04 02:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

"Moonshoe said:
Im considering the theory that personal power/energy/motivation goes in waves, where each crest is followed by a trough (a low point) which is then followed by a crest that was bigger than the previous one. Eventually the crest of one wave will be so fantastically high that i will launch into space and join space dragon at the banquet of gods, or something.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Well, not only does it progress in waves, it also either spirals upwards or spirals downwards.... always a high point and a low point within that particular section. The trick is to push upwards so that your low points aren't anywhere near low at all. "

lol, there is no specific definition, the ones your all talking about is right for YOU, there are many ways to go from point A to point B.
Which ever works best for your, is the best one :smile:


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aaaaaahhhhh


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Anonymous

Re: Total Clarity [Re: psyka]
    #3275180 - 10/25/04 02:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

So I guess the moral of the story is dont blow too much or you might pop your balloon?

This is also called "working yourself to death." :wink:


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: psyka]
    #3275637 - 10/25/04 04:31 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

blow all you want?
you could always get a new balloon? :P the size does not mater? just as long as you are blowing? :P haha


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Gomp]
    #3276979 - 10/25/04 10:27 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

im afraid size does matter...

so afraid.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3276998 - 10/25/04 10:30 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

if that was not a joke, i would like to read why? :P hehehe


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Gomp]
    #3277056 - 10/25/04 10:43 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

because its so darn scary gomp, its just toooo scary


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3277071 - 10/25/04 10:45 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

size does matter is scary? hum.. scary stuff? im going to bed nite nite :P


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Posts: 16,381
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Re: Total Clarity [Re: Gomp]
    #3277076 - 10/25/04 10:46 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

aw shucks, you sleep good...

just try not to have nightmares about my SIZE....

MUAHAHAHAHAHA


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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